Hesitant Boyfriend Part Deux- My Turn to Dom


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Bunny,
Once of the best pieces of advice that I ever received was to use what you can connect with. If you love the feel and smell of hemp then use it. Since you have access to lead ropes use them.

If you get into rope play you’ll find that you may end up mixing and matching. I have an entire drawer dedicated to rope. I pack my rope bag based on the ties I plan to use when playing. This is because all types of rope have pros and cons. Natural fibers will be more chaffing. Manmade fibers while they have a high burn rate may actually feel softer. Cotton tends to roll and silk is very slippery. All ropes burn, just be careful pulling long lengths of it against skin.

The lead ropes are a good choice for beginning. They have the advantage of thickness. So there is less change of compression injury. The disadvantage of thickness is difficulty in tying. I don’t use any knots that I didn’t learn growing up on the farm.

Read Sebastian’s post again. Take the time to review the safety FAQs available for rope play. Please take the time to research non-constricting cuffs. There are many good instructions out there.

Bandage scissors are NOT the same as EMT shears. They are shaped the same; both have a foot that’s designed to lift the material to be cut away from the skin. Bandage scissors are more along the lines on paper scissors, just with a rounded foot. EMT shears have a larger grip and are designed to cut though clothes, seat belts etc. and will easily cut though rope and leather cuffs. You may have seen them advertised as being able to cut a penny in half.

-Ranger
oh, and horse trailers are great places to tie someone up for playing.
 
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Ranger, I looked up the difference- bandage scissors I have aren't sharp and may poke out an eyeball! So I will pick up some EMT ones.

I don't own a trailer (don't have use for one anymore, as the horse is sadly gone), but you are right:) I would stray away from using too many horsie equpment, as when I'm thinking about horses, the last thing on my mind would be sex... It's hard to explain, but it would be like trying to have sex in your child's bed. It just doesn't work out in your head properly. LOL
 
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... You're a horse person, too, aren't you??? Oh boy... I always used to be disgusted when people would make sexual horse-related inuendos, until I really started learing more about bondage- damn horsemanship is kinky!

And I've gotten burns from both, and I honestly think cotton was worse... I have heard multiple places nylon burns worse, however. I don't think he's going to struggle too bad, but I may get cotton just to be safe in case he learns some rope skills himself to try out on me:)

LOL, yes, that is my profession..

After I was torched nicely by a nylon lead, lost the skin off my hands from them, I cringe now every time I feel nylon! I would have to agree that its best to not get burned by either! Now silk intrigues me.. i havent been burned by that.. yet! :devil:
 
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Ranger, I looked up the difference- bandage scissors I have aren't sharp and may poke out an eyeball! So I will pick up some EMT ones.

I don't own a trailer (don't have use for one anymore, as the horse is sadly gone), but you are right:) I would stray away from using too many horsie equpment, as when I'm thinking about horses, the last thing on my mind would be sex... It's hard to explain, but it would be like trying to have sex in your child's bed. It just doesn't work out in your head properly. LOL

I agree about the child's room.. however.. when it comes to equine.. Many times of thinking or being reminded about sexual intentions while working with that, can be a plus! (Not with the animal, for those that went the wrong direction, lol). If any job we could have, invite more sensual interest.. well.. :)
 
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Interesting. I’ve never thought about horses with that mindset. The closest I can come is an old girlfriend who wouldn’t have sex in front of her cat. One of my favorite high school memories is about long, slow sex on horseback… kind of like sex on a waterbed that was walking.

I use silk as a treat. Good girls get good toys. Wait until after prom season and visit Good Will. If you sew you can make all the silk ties you need from one dress. I told the seamstress that she was making curtain ties for me.
 
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I have been thinking about my dominant side. I definitely don't have as much trouble as E does. I hate to admit this, but yes, being an equestrian does help a lot. My sister was the first person to teach me to ride and handle horses- NOTHING gets past her. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Don't let that horse push you around! YOU'RE the boss!" So controlling a person's every move and administering punishment for noncompliance is just a small step up from doing it to my furry equine friends...

The only problem I run into is E's limits. He has a lot, which is OK, and I really want to respect that. But he doesn't want any pain play or humiliation- which I understand, because I don't want that, either... But he's moreso than me. I think it's a fabulous feeling to be spanked for misbehaving and then being hugged and reassured afterwards. He doesn't. So I suppose E wants a very minor form of submission. He said he wants to feel used... Which I could definitely do that sexually, but there's a limit... If he didn't mind being used in other nonsexual ways (for example as a foot rest), that would open up some doors, but I think it would drift too far into humiliation for him. I'm going to try to talk to him about it more and get more of an idea of what he wants. I know he wants to be pegged ;)

Exploring2dark, that makes sense that if you're good at weilding ropes, whips and chains on animals and employing psychological tools to gain submission on equines, you could do the same to people... But in a lot naughtier ways :D

RopeRanger, that must've been a well-trained horse! There's definitely two seperate boxes n my mind for horses and sex... They just don't really mix in my brain. But cats on the other hand... Well, they just add to the mood! They're so sexual! And I might try finding some silk at GoodWill this summer. I can borrow my mom's sewing machine and tell her I'm making curtain ties:D

Jett, I've been learning about tying as well. I might try tying a rope harness. The ones weaved in diamond patterns look really visually pleasing to me. I wish I had someone to tie my hands together- IDK why, but something about a woman's hands tied together just shouts sexy to me. LOL.
 
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JettOnly

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Yup I think talking is a great idea, find out what his limits are - and find out what soft (I dont like the idea of that but Im not running for the hills yet) limits are
To start with make a very simple enjoyable scene - leave him wanting more

and when you are ready to push him limits get inside his head - get him all worked up and give him the option of doing something hes not to sure about to get something he really wants

get him to BEG you to do it - honestly when he really starts to beg for it he will actually kind of start to like the idea - and its quite a head fuck

But go gently - little steps and you might well be surprised how far you can get in time
 
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