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Cal, congrats on deciding to walk on the wild side! Here are a few suggestions:
1) Read the Newcomer's FAQ. We created it just for people like you who are getting their feet wet in the stream of kink for the first time. There is a lot of stuff for you to think about and hopefully it answers some of your basic questions. Also, it will give you safety tips and it will give you a language with which to talk about your interests and desires. So figure out which parts of the 4 spheres of bdsm you are interested in.
2) Once you have some ideas of what you might want to do, sit down with your sub and have a long conversation with her about what she wants to try and what you want to try. Communication is the number one most important thing for successful bdsm (and it will help your general relationship as well). At this stage, don't be judgmental; even if she tells you that she wants to do something that makes you a little uncomfortable, let her talk about what she wants and why she wants it. Then, tell her how you feel about what she wants; tell her which things you are willing to do, which things you might eventually be willing to do after you warm up, and tell her which things you don't think you want to do. And she gets to do the same thing with your list. So once you've figured out which items turn up on both your lists, start exploring those items.
3) You are the dom, but you are new to this, and you're not a mind-reader. Doms sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that they are supposed to be an endless well of wicked sexual fantasies. But it's ok to need help learning to 'think kinky'. So ask her what fantasies she wants to play out. Think about some simple role-playing scenes, and act out any story that you and she might enjoy. So talk about kinky scenes from movies and re-enact one. Explore all the cliched romance novel scenes: kidnapped noblewoman, pirate wench, woman overwhelmed by the plumber, etc. And if the two of you want it, explore some of the darker fantasies, like you 'breaking in' and 'raping' her. Those are hot button ideas, but they're also hot.
4) Do some reading. Doms have an obligation to be knowledgeable, especially if you venture into bondage or pain play very far. The FAQ lists some good books for those starting down this road, so get a few of them off Amazon and read them. They will teach your safety and play techniques, and they will also give you ideas for scenes and activities. A good book for learning bondage is Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook.
5) Rope bondage is a lot of fun, but you need to learn it from a book that has room to talk about the various safety concerns. Bondage does carry risks, and while the risks are not a reason to not explore, they are real enough that I'm not gonna tell you to run out, buy some rope and just start tying her up. So instead, I'm gonna suggest that you start with some pre-made leather cuffs. They're a little more expensive than just rope, but it's pretty hard to hurt your sub with them. So the two of you can get used to the idea of her being lightly immobilized while you use her body. Blindfolds are another pretty easy toy to work in. You can use a silk scarf or a tie to improvise one (just don't tie it too tightly), or buy a blindfold (they're fairly cheap for a basic one). When she's blindfolded, remember to be a little unpredictable--if she thinks you're going to touch her tits, stroke her thighs instead. If she thinks you're gonna spank her, stick a dildo in her instead. Most subs love the little mind games that bdsm allows.
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