Knife play

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by PrettyLittleDamsel, Mar 5, 2011.

  1. PrettyLittleDamsel

    PrettyLittleDamsel New Member

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    Hi all,

    I'm new to The site and looking for some advice. After introducing a partner to what little I knew of bdsm he Has really taken to his roll as a Dom. I love that it has given us a new connection and is making things exciting but he has started to express a heavy interest in knife play. He has bought some acupuncture needles for our sessions which we are yet to use and would like to move to cutting as well.
    I am a little apprehensive, I have expressed this and know he will be careful but would still appreciate tips on how to do this as safely as possible and also like to know how best to avoid/minimise scarring.

    Thank you :) PLD x
  2. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

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    Given the fact that you said he has just purchased equipment, either he's replaced old needles or he has never done it before. I'm interested in blood and knife play as well, but I'll admit I'm inexperienced. That said, does he have experience in this? If he doesn't, I strongly suggest you tell him to do some research before jumping into it. Things like where to cut or puncture, and general wound care are a must with this kind of thing, you don't want to be seriously hurt or get an infection.
  3. PrettyLittleDamsel

    PrettyLittleDamsel New Member

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    Thanks RS. He's very secretive about his plans and previous experience. From the way he's taken to it he's either done it before or researched everything throughly which I'm very grateful for. I trust him to know what he is doing I just wondered if there's anything I can do to prepare myself or afterwards to take extra precaution as I am very conscious of scarring and keen to avoid it whilst still making the most of playtime.
  4. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

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    Well I do know one thing, in BDSM honesty and openness is essential, so if he's not willing to share his previous experience with you I'd be wary of that. I don't know everything from what you're telling me so far, but I know a Dom who won't tell you anything is probably not someone you should trust.
  5. master jey

    master jey Moderator

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    I'm pretty experienced first of all he'll need to learn human anatomy safe and unsafe zones
    Razor MUST always be clean (sterile) and he must always have a first aid pack
    Also don't use scalpel if you're inexperienced and try not to cut too deep otherwise you'll live scars and stay away from veins and arteries :)
    Blood play is really unsafe aspect of BDSM so be careful

    Ass is the best place for cutting :D
  6. PrettyLittleDamsel

    PrettyLittleDamsel New Member

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    OLP and Master Jey thanks so much for advice, thread was v helpful. I'll make sure he reads up on everything properly beforehand. Will keep you updated. Thank you :) x
  7. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Anything involving knives is edge play, which means there is some potential for real injury. Knife play is NOT for a beginner. Before you do anything in this area, you need to have a talk with him and find out exactly how much experience he has doing this activity. This is one of those areas where you absolutely should not rely simply on trust.

    Knife play, cutting, and play piercing should only be done by two types of people: A) those with some sort of medical training and B) those who have studied with a mentor who had done this sort of play before. If your bf doesn't fall into one of those two categories, DO NOT do it. Here's one simple reason: if he accidentally hits an artery, there is going to be blood everywhere and you're gonna receive a trip to either the ER or the morgue. Depending on where he decides to cut you, hitting an artery is pretty easy thing to do.

    Unless he falls into one of those two categories, make knife play a goal for your bdsm activities to progress toward. Find a bdsm convention where he can take a class in the subject, or look online for a mentor to teach him. Read through the FAQ if you haven't already and pay attention to the discussions about safety.
  8. PrettyLittleDamsel

    PrettyLittleDamsel New Member

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    Thanks for your advice Sebastian. We have discussed it and are going to incorporate needle play into our sessions as he has experience of this, however are holding off on the knife play for the time being until he has expanded his anatomical knowledge.
  9. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    I'm glad to hear that he has some experience in the general area. And I'm glad to hear that you had a good talk with him. BDSM really needs open communication to flourish and be safe.
  10. P.S.Eudonym

    P.S.Eudonym Member

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    PLD, before anything at all happens, go and GET TESTED. Together. STDs are no joke and when blood is involved a single drop is sufficient to ruin your life. I realize this is uncomfortable and may seem overly careful, but it is not. If his reaction is anything but "sure, lets do it" get the hell away from him.

    This was partially covered, but I would like to reiterate it: Do not rely on trust. You are placing yourself in a disadvantaged situation with an armed man who is, as far as I understood, someone you do not know very well or long. The fact that he agreed to hold off on it is a good sign, but not a reliable one. Think about arranging a safe call for your first session involving edge play and do not be tied up either. Tell someone you trust beforehand and get their input on this guy. Be in range of a phone and have a mace around he does not know about. (I may be overeacting here, but with the information you gave us, it seems reasonable.)

    Given his initial secrecy, it may be a good idea to have a dry run. Get a barby doll or something similar and have him show you what he plans in a save enviroment. That way, you get an idea of what you are in for and the way he does and explains things will tell you wether he is actually experienced or making things up. Its very easy to claim experience when everyone involved knows nothing about the topic and its easier to lie than to give up secrecy. Trust and verify is a sensible approach to almost anything BDSM.
    An even better alternative would be for him to demonstrate on himself. In risk of stealing Sebastians line: A good Dom never does anything to a sub he has not tried out on himself first. If he is unwilling to demonstrate on himself, that is a warning sign.

    Furthermore, if you play with knifes, be in a safe enviroment. This kind of thing is very easily misinterpreted and criminal law does not care about consent or sexual arousal where weapons are involved. Going at you with a knife is assault with a deadly weapon (if my legal memory serves) and a zealous prosecutor will get him convicted as long as he can prove it happened.

    With the safety aspects out of the way, a good thing would be to figure out what about knife play turns him on. I have no real experiece with it, but from what I know about psychology there are two aspects to weapons that fascinate people. The first, is the object and the potential it represents, the second is the realisation of that potential. The fine difference is, that for the first aspect, the weapon is the object of interest with the potential being secondary and for the second, the weapon is a mere tool to get to the blood, death and everything else. For example: Lots of gun-nuts have no interest in actually shooting people or killing, they simply admire the gun as a mechanical device and the feeling they get when firing it. Wether they fire at an innanimate object or a person makes no difference to their interests because that is secondary. They admire the capacity for killing, but not the killing itself. To them, the weapon represents a power to wield, but to wield with care and reason. On the other hand, the people into the second aspect know the power to injure or kill lies within themselves and the weapon is just a way to unleash this power. Its a very simple but easy to miss distinction.

    Transported to knife play, the question becomes wether it is the blood, i.e. the harm caused that he craves or simply the concept that an object with the potential to draw blood is involved. If its the later, you do not need to actually draw blood for him to be satisfied but it is quite possible he does not realize this. In my experience, where objects are concerned, few people spend the time to think about whether the object or its function are what turns them on.

    Last but not least, I wish to say one thing: You are playing with one of the most dangerous aspects of BDSM and are walking a very thin line between pleasure and harm. If there is even a single doubt in your head wether or not this is a good idea, do not do it. (You never should, but a few rope burns or a bruise are a much smaller price to pay than a scar, infection or STD.) A good dom will accept any limit and if necessary just find another sub. If he tries to talk you into it, bully or emotionally blackmail you, get the hell away from him.
  11. PrettyLittleDamsel

    PrettyLittleDamsel New Member

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    Seb and PS thank you both for your sound advice.
    PS we have known each other as friends outside of the subject for years, possibly explains why my trust is there already. We have both been tested for STIs and are aware of each others history so perfectly safe there.
    I will talk to Him about distinction between whether it be power play or the physical presence if blood that appeal to him like you say, though from what I have gathered so far intense pain play is a favourite with him, more so if the potential to draw blood is involved.
    I really appreciate everyones input on thus subject as it has given me sound advice for my current situation and also allowed me to learn good protocol should I meet a new Dom. Thanks you x
  12. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Everything PS has said is spot-on. As far as the legal issues are concerned, keep the following in mind:
    If you wind up at a hospital, you will be asked to explain what happened. If it sounds even remotely suspicious, you'll wind up being questioned by the police. When I was 12, my older brother accidentally stabbed me with a knife--I had to explain the story at least 6 times, including to a very nice police officer who somehow just happened to be at the hospital. It was only years later that I realized why I was being asked to repeat the story so often...

    If you're questioned and admit that a knife was involved, the chances of your friend being arrested go up. Substantial elements of BDSM are illegal; you cannot legally consent to being assaulted with a weapon (which is what knife play translates to legally); if you could, it would be almost impossible to prosecute domestic violence, because the abuser would simply tell the victim to say that she consented. If a nurse or police officer hears that your friend cut you with a razor blade, they'll probably accept that it was genuinely consensual; if they hear that your friend cut you with a knife, they're going to be very suspicious.

    An additional complication is that it is illegal to practice medicine without a license. Cutting play and piercing activities can easily be treated as the illegal practice of medicine if the authorities choose to do so. So if you go ahead with this, you need to do the following things:

    1) Start with razor blades, not knives. It's less suspicious if anything goes wrong. If your friend has a fetish for knives, you can incorporate a knife into the scene (for example, he could slide the flat of the knife along your skin without cutting you and then switch to a razor blade for cutting).
    2) Have a first aid kit available, to handle the after care and as a precaution in case something goes wrong. Better yet, ask your friend to take a Red Cross First Aid course. Any dom who does serious pain play or edge play ought to do this anyway.
    3) You might consider writing out a statement that you consent to the cutting. This doesn't absolve him of liability, but it will help prove innocence if somehow this winds up in court.
    4) If you have to go to the ER, work out your story in advance, and make sure it is close enough to the truth that you can both stick to it no matter how often you have to repeat it.

    One good thing: ER nurses have heard EVERYTHING. They won't be shocked if you admit that you're into erotic cutting, although you'll probably get a lecture about how dangerous it is.

    Another good thing: If they arrest your friend for assault, it will be difficult to prosecute, assuming you keep insisting that things were consensual and he wasn't abusing you. So the charges might be dismissed with a stern warning. But it's also possible that they'll ask him to plead to a less serious offense.
  13. PrettyLittleDamsel

    PrettyLittleDamsel New Member

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    Again Seb thank you for all your pointers, when we decide to give it a try I shall make sure it's all planned out in advance and heed your warnings carefully.
  14. master jey

    master jey Moderator

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    OK guys don't scare the girl you don't have a high chance to wind up in hospital either has your boyfriend to wind up in police station
    Simply start small,do research on subject, be cautious and be careful ;)
    I believe in you
    and wright about your experience :)

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