update :)

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by decadentangel, May 10, 2010.

  1. decadentangel

    decadentangel New Member

    hey guys! las time i posted i was having issues with another dom. that's done and over and my sub and i are doing great. well my mate's sexual drive has increased greatly from the fact that i've taken on a pet. i spoke with him and told him that i'd really like to be his dom as well. he's had some qualms about it because he's the strong dom type like me. and he really didn't understand the dom-sub relationship. well after some lengthy discussions, he's consented to try being a sub in the bedroom only. this is a huge step for him and i want nuture it in him. my other pet is very agreeable to me having another pet; we have discussed it in advance. i've started slow with him so he can get comfortable and i've told him what to expect. any ideas as to how to nuture his sub side?
     
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    OK, just to clarify, you're a bi male, and you have a female sub and now a potential male sub?

    Being sexually submissive intimidates some men because it threatens their masculinity, and this is also true for receiving anal sex. So find out what would make him most comfortable with submitting and do that. Maybe he wants things to be very romantic and emotional. On the other hand, some gay men like being violently conquered and virtually raped (because it allows them to feel ok with being submissive, since they have no choice). When two gay doms play together, one of the common strategies is that they wrestle and each tries to force the other into submission. So maybe the deal is neither of you is definitely the dom in the bedroom and each time you have to establish who's the dom and who's the sub all over again.
     
  3. decadentangel

    decadentangel New Member

    OK, just to clarify, you're a bi male, and you have a female sub and now a potential male sub?

    no hun i'm a female with a female sub and i would like my mate who is male to be my other sub. he's registered on here as malenko. we both have the same personality neither of us wants to be dominated. he's willing to try so i'm starting off slowly so as not to scare him. i would like to be able to nuture his sub side if he has one.
     
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  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Well, that totally screws my advice then. :(
     
  5. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    lol sebastian, if you were a better at forum stalking like me, you would have seen on the public profile that she's a girl XD
     
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  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I'm having an off week. I spent the weekend fighting a really fatiguing virus.
     
  7. decadentangel

    decadentangel New Member

    oh my sebastion! do get better hun! and i don't mind being stalked either lol :)
     
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  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I'm vastly better than this weekend, thank God. But my concentration is taking a while to come back.
     
  9. Precious

    Precious Member

    Hahah Sebastian, to prove the off weak I've been having at first I read that you were fighting a fetus.

    decadentangel, I don't really know a lot about male subbing since..I'm a straight girl with a female Mistress (it's weird just go with it lol), my advice would to tread slowly and if he's not comfortable with it, try maybe finding other things. Such as you two taking turns. You both been your subs dominate, and in the bedroom you take turns between the two of you whose going to be Dom, if he knows that he'll get his chance maybe he'll open up?
     
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  10. decadentangel

    decadentangel New Member

    i am treading very slowly. i collared him this morning. i've explained everything to him as fully as i can and he's picked a safeword so i know when he's uncomfortable. i have found that doming a male is very different from doming a female. of course the man i'm doming is my mate so i'm sure that's a big deal to alot of people. i know it is to me. i believe he is having a transition period to because he switches from wanting to sub to wanting to take what he wants cuz that's what he knows. and he is so very feral. and i find that delightfully sexy. we've been together for four years and i just want him to be happy. he knows being a dom makes me happy so he wants to try. however he told me last night that he doesn't see any difference in his life. is there anything i can do to show him that there is a difference between the two roles? i told him tonight i would step things up a bit. and precious he usually does take what he wants. we used to switch before i got into the whole scene here. he said he's nervous with anticipation mostly. i guess i'll have to wait and see.
     
  11. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Precious, honestly, given how crappy I felt over the weekend, if the doctor had told me I was pregnant, I would at least have felt justified. As it is I'm about 95% me again. And I had some really trippy dreams, including an absolutely hysterical one about a church service going wrong.

    Decadent, congrats on the new sub. If he's really feral, have you thought about puppy play? Treat him like a dog: lead him on a leash, forbid him to speak except in dog noises (and train him to find real dog noises not just say 'bark'), discipline with a rolled-up newspaper, that sort of thing. it will definitely show him a difference.
     
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  12. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    Make him eat out of a bowl!
     
  13. Precious

    Precious Member

    I agree with Sebastian and Silly, if he doesn't see a difference try something radical (but fun) like puppy play or even making him wear some of your panties under his cloths, like nice silk ones (I know some straight guys who do this cause they like the feel), or even YOU wearing something radical, like high heeled boots and leather and change your talk for the night OH maybe a sexy german girl set to strike some fear into him.

    Sebastian- I get crazy dreams to don't worry. actually one really frightening one was about a church service too! Like OMG we're dream buddies (lol)
     
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  14. decadentangel

    decadentangel New Member

    thanks for the advice but i'm not really sure how i feel about the whole roleplaying thing. i never really saw the need for it. but if his feralness does get out of hand, i will take it under consideration. :) thanks again for being so helpful :)
     
  15. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    I think it's probably worth a try at least once, I like the roleplaying, and not just the playing a pet kind, there's others too, you may find one that you both like.
     

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