Advice for roll reversal

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by ritualeclipse, Dec 13, 2012.

  1. ritualeclipse

    ritualeclipse New Member

    Hi all,

    Just need some advice.
    My girlfriend and I are newcomers to the whole Dom/Sub thing. We tried it out with me being the dom and her being the sub, and kept it purely sexual. It didn't become a life style thing that we take really seriously, it only really applied in the bedroom/sex department.
    A usual Friday night would consist of me telling her what to do, dancing naked, oral, dressing up for me, tying her up and having my way.
    Recently we've both discovered that we both have a dom/sub side and we both wish to take this further.
    She wants to try to dominate me (walking on me in stilettos, hitting me, ordering me to do things to her etc) but our problem is... how do we play this?
    Do we do a day when she plays dom and a day when I play dom?
    Do we wait until one of us fucks up and needs to be punished and the one who fucked up gets to be sub?
    We're both new to this, but we know what we like and what makes us feel good.
    We're really not sure how to go about this so any advice at all would be great.

    Thanks.
     
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Both options work. Some kinksters prefer to stay in one role all the way through a session, while others enjoy the switching mid-scene, which allows the former sub to 'punish' the former dom for what happened in the first half of the scene. Some kinksters flip back and forth repeatedly as the mood takes them. Some wrestle for dominance, or use the rule that if the sub escapes from bondage, s/he is allowed to take over. There are lots of ways to do this, so explore and see what you two like the most.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2012
  3. ritualeclipse

    ritualeclipse New Member

    I like that. Thanks for the ideas.
    I like your suggestion of one of us taking over half way though and punishing them for what happened during the first half.
    Awesome. Thanks again.
     
  4. Advice I often give to newcomers is to agree a "traditional" roleplay scene.

    The most obvious is an interrogation scenario.

    You can make up whatever story you like to form the basis of the scene.

    If you want to be the Dom, let's imagine, your girlfriend has been experimenting with kissing some of her girlfriends. You interrogate her for the details of what she did. She gets to make up whatever she likes.


    Or if she's the Domme, perhaps she caught you wearing her underwear. She quizzes you about how often you do it, etc.

    The good thing about the interrogation scene is that it's very familair to both parties, so you can use it as a framework for improvization.

    It can be as long or as short as you both want, and there are plenty of other well known scenarios you can use as the basis of roleplay.

    Cheers,
    Stanley
     

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