MIRROR: Download from MEGA
That's the answer I expected. Like I said in my first response Div, many of our partners expect us to be mind-readers or psychics
You're the only one who can tell if she's into you and how much. The rest is just learning how to read her reactions.
To tell you the truth..... you care about her feelings a little to much. It sucks when we really care about someone we want to be our slave.
You haven't come to grips yet, with the truth.... As Seb says often, you think loving her means being kind and ....so on and so on. This woman you love likes you to be a Dominant. To take her and use her. That's love too.
As a matter of fact, if you don't take control of your mindset, this wall of yours will get bigger, and she will feel like you love her less.... not more.
Seb and kajmir were right. This is just about confidence, but it doesn't have to be learned or absorbed, it can be imitated until it really sinks in.
I suggest you give any one of the suggestions a few tries, and I also suggest that you stop looking at sex as some taboo that can't be discussed with her just as naturally as what you might be having for dinner tonight.
The more you clarify what's going on, the less you will be "blocked" or "walled" by your own anxiety. Tell her about your issues with initiating sexuality. Tell her that you want to do things with her (vanilla or kink) at any given moment, but you're getting mixed signals from her... then let her respond.
I have recent memory of a pet that came to assume she was gonna get fucked every single time I saw her (not always fucked, but something sexual). She came to assume that because I told her that and then I did it. Every time were alone she knew, to the point that if I didn't do something she would ask if something was wrong.
It sounds like you guys really need to open up to each other more. If not, then just take the first suggestion and define when "your" time is..... But if you're not going to take advantage of it, and subsequently, her, nothing will work.
A Dom/me is many things..... but on thing a Dom/me is always, and that's an actor. One who is able to create and combine contrasting elements, between danger and safety, between confinement and feedom, helplessness and security. That's what a Dom/me does!
Just imitate confidence and don't back down after one negative response.
Trust me, you can take the pain on the road to your own persona. Treat it like an exercise. Kaj is right.... she doesn't want to tell you when it's ok to subjugate her, so if you're looking for a clear sign, forget it.
Just keep one thing in mind, your job is to make her think and believe it's about her, not you. She should believe, and rightfully so, that you need her, and can't keep your hands off of her, and that you are always hungry for her.
If she believes that, and then get's mad at you.... you're either with the wrong woman, or she's with the wrong guy.
Sometimes the hardest questions are the ones we already know the answer to.
Unless you have something different, stop asking the "same" one. Re-read the responses to your op. Your answers are there, and many are coming from the ones you wanted them to come from.
Those, like me, that can totally relate.
P.S. If you don't already have it, Get the book called "The New Topping Book", and start getting used to the idea of Doming her with your clothes on, and her's too (to start).
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