Ana_X
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Hello everyone, I just registered today in hope that I could find some insight/help/advice with whatever is going on in my head at the moment.
I am a Dominant, I have been so for a few years now but only ever explored and grew with this online with subs from all over the world whom I'd never met, until now.
In July I met a sub whom I had been chatting to online for over a year, a clever boy who's kinks intrigued me. I've always been fond of those who can hold a conversation outside of the likes of the topics 'beer, birds and football' etc. He was a fellow kinkster, a submissive who's company I enjoyed. We had many discussions online and over the phone, but as I said, in July this year I met him in person for the first time.
Since then we have been in regular contact, I've spent days staying with him where we both dressed up in our latex and had some very slippy fun, and he has just recently spent an evening at my home too.
But here's the problem as I see it. I'm no stranger to BDSM, far from it although I freely and willingly admit that I do not know everything there is to know (it would be arrogant to assume one knows everything about anything, right?) as I've only been involved in one way or another for around two years. Yet when sub and I are together and I know what he's wanting from the evening...... I seem to hit a bit of a mental brick wall.
It feels almost as though I hit some kind of mental fridgidity when it comes to setting a scene for him. We have had a few scenes until now, but I feel as though I'm not giving him what he wants and needs because I KNOW he wants me to be more verbal and abusive, and although (as previously mentioned) I had spent much time doing this online and over the phone with others, I just can't get the words out of my brain and mouth when I'm in his company.
I hear things playing over and over in my head, what I want to say to my sub and yet I just can't get them out. Being vocal is certainly an issue for me right now and although I can't pin point why...... now that I'm typing this... I think I've just had an idea.
I am the Domina in our situation, he is my sub. I feel a great duty of responsibility and care to my sub not only for his physical well-being but his mental well-being also. I think that during this transition from online to real-time I've managed to put a lot of pressure on myself to provide what he heeds because he seeks it from me. I'm jumping from nought to sixty and it's maybe a touch over whelming.
I don't doubt for a moment that I am a Dominant, it's in me and has been for years, right now I guess it's a case of taking the confidence I have in one area of my experience and transferring it to another? After all...... subs are trained all the time, but who teaches the Dommes?
Hmm, I do apologise for that massive waffle on there, I just do need some input and certainly could do with having more Domme and sub friends in my life as all my old Domme friends seem to have vanished off the face of the earth.
Any and all input would be appreciated.
Ana X
I am a Dominant, I have been so for a few years now but only ever explored and grew with this online with subs from all over the world whom I'd never met, until now.
In July I met a sub whom I had been chatting to online for over a year, a clever boy who's kinks intrigued me. I've always been fond of those who can hold a conversation outside of the likes of the topics 'beer, birds and football' etc. He was a fellow kinkster, a submissive who's company I enjoyed. We had many discussions online and over the phone, but as I said, in July this year I met him in person for the first time.
Since then we have been in regular contact, I've spent days staying with him where we both dressed up in our latex and had some very slippy fun, and he has just recently spent an evening at my home too.
But here's the problem as I see it. I'm no stranger to BDSM, far from it although I freely and willingly admit that I do not know everything there is to know (it would be arrogant to assume one knows everything about anything, right?) as I've only been involved in one way or another for around two years. Yet when sub and I are together and I know what he's wanting from the evening...... I seem to hit a bit of a mental brick wall.
It feels almost as though I hit some kind of mental fridgidity when it comes to setting a scene for him. We have had a few scenes until now, but I feel as though I'm not giving him what he wants and needs because I KNOW he wants me to be more verbal and abusive, and although (as previously mentioned) I had spent much time doing this online and over the phone with others, I just can't get the words out of my brain and mouth when I'm in his company.
I hear things playing over and over in my head, what I want to say to my sub and yet I just can't get them out. Being vocal is certainly an issue for me right now and although I can't pin point why...... now that I'm typing this... I think I've just had an idea.
I am the Domina in our situation, he is my sub. I feel a great duty of responsibility and care to my sub not only for his physical well-being but his mental well-being also. I think that during this transition from online to real-time I've managed to put a lot of pressure on myself to provide what he heeds because he seeks it from me. I'm jumping from nought to sixty and it's maybe a touch over whelming.
I don't doubt for a moment that I am a Dominant, it's in me and has been for years, right now I guess it's a case of taking the confidence I have in one area of my experience and transferring it to another? After all...... subs are trained all the time, but who teaches the Dommes?
Hmm, I do apologise for that massive waffle on there, I just do need some input and certainly could do with having more Domme and sub friends in my life as all my old Domme friends seem to have vanished off the face of the earth.
Any and all input would be appreciated.
Ana X
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