Kinda new, and have a question

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Ruelee, May 8, 2010.

  1. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    It's kinda hard for me to actually come out like this... so I hope I make sense.
    I'm a sub, I brought my girlfriend into it, and we did try my being dominant, but I just don't have the knack for it. She can do either, but lately has started enjoying being the dominant to me instead, and I like it that way, it's not a 24/7 one, since we're an LDR couple (though hoping someday to join her) but when we do, surrendering myself to her... I couldn't go back to just normal sort of things after that. I don't think anyone could.

    I actually have two questions, since I just realised while typing this I had the other.

    My first, and the original, is about my family... they don't know anything about this, and they're the kind of people who are 'old school' and consider even mentioning sex and similar taboo, never to be talked about, and I'm a bit afraid of what would happen if they found out about my submissive nature, and the things I do for master that I try to keep from them. I don't know what they'd do, or what I'd do, and it bothers me a bit.
    It's made a bit easier because I have my own laptop, so I can hide most of it like that, but sometimes it's still hard to keep it from them, sometimes they'll come disturbingly close to finding out, and I don't like that.
    Not really a question I guess.

    The other one I realised, is that I'm having trouble finding new things to do with master. I suffer from a mild case of Aspergers, not too much, but it's enough that I have that typical difficulty in social situations in the real world, and it also makes it hard for me to improvise, and come up with new things.
    See normally, I'm her pup (One of many pups, if reading here is anything to go by!) and we sort of help each other along through a role played situation, of something we would want to do if we were together, and I'm running out of ideas for that, and I had very few to start with, to be honest.
    I know from reading here that it's mostly really tailored to what she likes, and what we're in to, but I want to know what sort of other things we could do, get some more ideas.

    That's about all I got for now, and my courage in registering and posting is almost used up. I don't know why it was so hard for me to do it, but... well, I guess I'm probably not the only one.

    And apologies to my master, who though as far as I know has only visited once, will probably recognise me immediately if she visits again. I promised her I'd read only, but I felt needed to ask.
    Hope you understand master, since you're away and I can't see or talk with you today.
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  2. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    So, I don't have any first hand experience in LDR really, but I did think of a few things you could do through out the day to please her dominate nature.

    You could keep a journal of your day, a very detailed and specific journal to send to her. In your journal you could share every detail of your day, your thoughts and the things you did right/wrong.

    You could have her choose your outfit for the day, provided you have a webcam or a camera and she could see you.

    You could also have her give you specific takes for you to complete, either on a daily basis or different ones each day.

    These are all non sexual ideas, as I don't have a lot of experience in LDR, but hopefully you can use them and they could aid to her domination over you. I personally like having non-sexual domination, but that's just me. ;)
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  3. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    Those are some interesting ideas... the webcam ones aren't so easy, thanks to the time difference - I'm having lunch at about the same time she's getting up in the morning, and I'm often going to sleep not long after she's having dinner. That makes it a little difficult, but we try to work around it.

    But thanks for those ideas, I can only hope she likes them as well.
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  4. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    What's LDR?

    I share your same family fear, one time my mom even told me never to get involved in anything weird or kinky! I didnt even know what to say to that (but in my mind I was thinking "too late..."
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  5. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    LDR, Long Distance Relationship - in this case, I'm in the UK, and my master is five hours behind. As she's often concerned about her safety, I don't give out many details about her online, I respect her wishes there, it does make sense.

    My parents haven't exactly stopped me, dad's even said if I want to do something (Anything, not just sexually) then he won't stop me, but when I showed signs a while back of my being Bi he also told me he didn't want me to 'do anything that might be wrong for you', implying that he thought I shouldn't do it.
    I can't exactly stand up to him at the moment, since while I'm between jobs, I don't have any way to pay him back for letting me stay at home, so I try to keep in his good graces, and hide anything he gets like that over.
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  6. Thankfully master forgives you. And indeed has decided to register herself. I like the ideas already given.

    Does anyone have tips for being dominant?

    I don't think I do it very well to be honest. Though my boys(friends) know their place, and listen to me. My pup does too, can't blame him though, prospect of having to sleep on the couch is powerful, despite the current time difference.
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  7. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    I dont understand your question at alll
    dont tell your parents about your sexual prefrences. Unless you tell them, they would only find out if they found incriminating evidence, like toys or books.
    If you live with your parents then hide that shit

    but I'm in a long distance relationship too, so, yay us!
    Last edited: May 9, 2010
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  8. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    I guess the question I was trying to ask was what sort of things can I really do with or for master, new things that I might not have thought of yet.
    I do try to come up with my own ideas, sometimes they're not always thought out well, but it's the thought that counts.
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  9. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    like what ideas have you tried?
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  10. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    Very little, since being long-distance, there's often times when there's only one of us online, and I readily admit after reading here, there's times when I'm the only one around at home, and I wish she could be around to tell me to do something for her. So far there hasn't been much non-sexual things we've done, except just sort of spend time together, together as much as we can when the internet's our only way of contacting each other.
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  11. He's far too modest. So far sexually we've of course only gone as far as roleplays with the long distance, but for roleplays we've done sex slaves, pup here likes playing different animals, i think we tried tiger and it was rather fun, we've roleplayed about being royalty and subject, cop and prisoner, teacher and student, mostly simple ones where the authority figure(dom) was obvious.

    We're just looking for more ideas. Which I think means he's unhappy with me ;)
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  12. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    long distance isnt too bad, once you get used to it!

    Trying have a set of commands that you must do when your house in empty and your master is done. It could be a dress-up, jacking off by an open window, insertion of toys, maybe you have to play with yourself but you aren't allowed to cum, etc etc
    If you have a camera thats just for your personal use or a webcam, take pictures to prove you did what you were supposed to.

    You guys can still write emails and what not to each other. If you're into it, your master (mistress?) could have you write essays on why you were bad or how you want to be punished or how how you want to be rewarded. It might be your job to search the internet and bookstores for new ideas.
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  13. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    Yes, it should be mistress, but I'm not entirely comfortable with that, so I prefer master instead.
    There is a camera I can use, though it's not just for my use. I'm tech-savvy enough that I can hide them well enough that only someone who knows exactly how I hid them can find them, if I have to. The webcam takes better pictures though, but since my laptop doesn't work right, there's only one room I can use it in. Bit of a pain.

    We do email too, though normally it's not really all that much, and so far, unless I've forgotten one, never one actually in role as such, but a nice idea... could work well with the journal mentioned earlier.
    Some nice ideas, thanks, I'll talk with master about them. Unless she's seen them already.
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  14. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    I wanted to let people know what we've been doing, well, some of it anyway.
    At Master's request, I've been keeping journals of my day from just after we finish our morning conversation to when she comes back in the evening. When she's given me tasks to do, I keep note of that, and try to describe them for her.
    We recently found something that others might find interesting or useful as well though, a kind of contract - not legally binding, just a kind of agreement between two people. We started using it as of last night, and I've found somehow I like it better this way, though there's actually very little difference to before.
    The contract we found, if anyone wants to have a look, is right here:

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