Dominance Ideas

p1ivip1ng · Apr 9, 2008

I looked around for a while but didn't find anything quite like my question, so I guess I'll ask it.

My girlfriend likes being submissive. Therefore, I am the dominant one in the relationship. Unfortunately, I'm pretty bad at coming up with new ideas.

I like BDSM as long as it's not too extreme. I don't have a problem tying my girlfriend up, humiliating, spanking, or degrading her. Beyond that, I'm not too thrilled. I'm willing to try almost anything up to suspending her from the ceiling while I beat her with something.

So, as mentioned, I'm bad at coming up with ideas. I've had two actual great ideas total. The first is tickle torture, where I leave her arms and legs free but sit on her stomach and tickle her. I tell her she isn't allowed to move, and if she does, she gets slapped or punished some other way. This kind of lets her know she has control to not listen to me, but she does anyway because she obeys my commands (I know it's not original, but she never thought of it and it really works for us.). The second, and most effective, is this one where I make her kneel in front of me, naked, with her face in the mattress and her butt facing me. I then tease her with the frequent question of "Do you trust me?" as I use my penis to rub her vagina but never insert it. It drives her crazy. I've even caught her trying to lean back while my penis was in the correct position for insertion because it turned her on so much.

So my question is this. I really enjoy the teasing and the dominance role without all of the beating and degradation. I do it because I love her and it doesn't bother me. We have great communication in the relationship and we know what the other wants and what they don't really like so much. Does anyone have any ideas about what I can do that is similar in style to the things described in the preceding paragraph? I don't want it to involve pain, but something playful and loving that has been tuned up a little to be a tad more erotic or just something to tease her with? I'd really appreciate any input and I'd be happy to answer any questions. Thank you.

Stargazer · Apr 9, 2008

I guess I'll be a tad biased with my reply because my vice is being restrained. But don;t under-estimate the various ways you can restrain someone and get different results each time. for example...

Being forced to kneel up with your hand cuffs tightly to your waist means that your entire body is exposed and your arms are totally useless. Intermittant sexual stimulation will excite the victim and it will become increasingly difficult to stay up. If the victims backside touches the back of their calves then they get quick slap from a belt. This can go on for hours and never get boring. The occasional pain is refreshing, the helplessness is stimulating and the physical exertion is surprisingly exciting.

Go to your local homebase store and get some tie-rings. Usea bit of elbow-grease and fix them to a wall in your bedroom and you have an instant St Andrews Cross, or Crucifix or whatever you want to make a victim stand against a wall in all kinds of compromising position. Standing up isn;t quite as tiring as one might expect and adds a whole new element to the experience. This is great for teasing since you can just leave the victim there while you go do some chores or watch some telly. When you go back, the only thing stopping the victim doing cartwheel is the fact he/she is still tied up.

Get a good set of fist mitts for your victim and make them wear them for long periouds of time. Command her to get you a drink from the fridge and issue a punishment if it takes too long. Command her to do other things that aren;t totally impossible but increibly difficult for someone wearing mitts but make the tasks increasingly more difficult as she begins to adjust. This keeps the game right on the pain threshold and should keep her obedient.

Is this the kind of stuff you're looking for? If so, then let us know how you get on and if it worked for you. If not, my apologies and I wish you all the best.

p1ivip1ng · Apr 14, 2008

Yeah, that kind of stuff is exactly what I'm looking for. Thanks a lot.

Mako · Apr 14, 2008

Why do i get the feeling this guy is a poser? It is hard for me to believe that any man whose woman WANTS to be dominated can not cum up with LOTS of ideas.....

p1ivip1ng · Apr 27, 2008

Mako said:
Why do i get the feeling this guy is a poser? It is hard for me to believe that any man whose woman WANTS to be dominated can not cum up with LOTS of ideas.....

I don't want to be dominated... I want to be dominant. I'm just really bad at it. I'm being dominant more for my girlfriend than myself, so maybe that's why I'm not great at coming up with the ideas.

EDIT:
Oh. You're saying my girlfriend wants to be dominated. That's right, but I'm trying to get ideas without her knowing. I want surprises for her.

Fantazmaster · May 5, 2008

p1ivip1ng,I would say after reading your intro posts that she would be an ideal candidate for denial and orgasm control games of various types.The type that would bring her to the very edge of orgasm,only to be denied by you time and again.

p1ivip1ng · May 26, 2008

That's a great idea. Thanks a lot.

I just did something recently that she liked a lot. I blindfolded her and tied her to the bed. Then I got a paintbrush and painted her body with cold water. It worked very well, although she was kind of cold afterward. Does anyone have any ideas along those lines? We've already played the "guess that object" game before where I rub an object all over her body and she has to guess what it is.

Subby · May 26, 2008

Heighten her expectations by sending texts/emails throughout the day, instructing her to spend the day without panties and telling her she is not allowed to masturbate. Then near the end of the day tell her she is to meet you, naked and on her knees, at the front door. Find some sort of fault with what she has done and make her wait in a corner. The anticipation will drive her wild. Then go into a long and extended playtime denying her orgasms.
AND don't worry, all doms and subs have to start somewhere.

Willywonka4u · Jun 15, 2008

Don't be surprised with what you can just do verbally. Here's a game I came up with. It involves spanking and watching her reaction. Tell her she's not allowed to make a noise. If she makes a noise with a good 10 whips tell her she'll get 10 more. If she manages to stay silent she can be penetrated. this is quite interesting especially if she's completely restrained and spent some time with orgasm control first.

smutty-m · Jun 17, 2008

Some interesting Ideas we got here... mine is putting my girl under the mini table. While sucking my dick, i would spank her ass on the other side, that keeps her from sucking my dick.

Dominance Ideas

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