monocrome
Member
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the worst punishment for me is his disapointment and, beyond that, if he does something that will upset me but also upsets him. tho his "upset" is never near as much as the mixture of unsettling and disturbing feelings in me from having disappointed him and his having to do something that upsest him.
for instance, i clean a lot "for him," tho we are long distance, and i have an apron i made and wear only when i am doing things for him. it brings him great joy when i'm wearing it and doing for him and i end up wearing it nearly every day and most of the time when i am at home. if ever i have to be punished, he will take the apron away. i've only been punished once in that fashion and we were both unsettled by it. it was like a breaking of a bond for a short time. generally i don't have to be punished much anyway, but now just the thought of having it taken away is enough to make me feel all ... wrong.
i have had issues where obeying has caused serious emotional upset though, and in those instances i have spoken to him about it and we work through it. sometimes constant punishment after punishment just won't work... depending upon what your aims are.
for instance, i clean a lot "for him," tho we are long distance, and i have an apron i made and wear only when i am doing things for him. it brings him great joy when i'm wearing it and doing for him and i end up wearing it nearly every day and most of the time when i am at home. if ever i have to be punished, he will take the apron away. i've only been punished once in that fashion and we were both unsettled by it. it was like a breaking of a bond for a short time. generally i don't have to be punished much anyway, but now just the thought of having it taken away is enough to make me feel all ... wrong.
i have had issues where obeying has caused serious emotional upset though, and in those instances i have spoken to him about it and we work through it. sometimes constant punishment after punishment just won't work... depending upon what your aims are.
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