Feeling guilty about Domme-ish desires I am a woman who has had BDSM-themed fantasies for years, but never acted on them because I've felt too ashamed and guilty. This is tearing me apart... I haven't had a relationship in years because hiding this and keeping things vanilla just doesn't work for me... but my guilt won't let me do anything else. If I were a sub, I wouldn't feel guilty about that, but unfortunately my tendencies don't run that way... I want to see a man hurting and helpless who needs to be rescued/comforted/cuddled. I wouldn't get off on his suffering itself, but I would get off on the way it made him helpless and vulnerable and needing to be cared for. If I had the guts to engage in BDSM in real life, I'd willingly take on the part of the evil mad scientist/interrogator/slave owner/whatever -- in my fantasies the person inflicting the cruelty is a third party (I just do the rescuing and comforting), but in a situation of consensual role-play I could see taking that role... for me the enjoyable part wouldn't be causing suffering, it would be the state of helplessness/vulnerability/needing-to-be-comforted-and-cared-for that it brought the submissive to. ...but still, I look at my thoughts and think "what the HELL is wrong with me?". The appropriate response to someone being the subject of cruel experiments by a mad scientist or a victim of torture or something is horrified disgust, and if I were to see such a situation in real life that is exactly what I'd feel... so why do I enjoy it in my fantasies?! I know fantasies are just thoughts and they don't hurt anyone... but I am still very worried about what having those fantasies and wanting to role-play those situations says about me as a person! To those who have Dom/me inclinations... how do you manage to enjoy it without guilt or self-loathing?