Past abusive dom, want to try again?

sebastian

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It's amazing how much easier things get when people start being honest with their partners about what they really want. Communication is the key. So ask him to explain in detail what he wants; I don't mean to tell you what to say, but to really lay out what it is that turns him on in this area.

Maybe he wants to do a role play scene--you're a foul-mouthed slut he picks up in a bar, or you're interviewing for a job and try to seduce him, or whatever. If that's what he wants, ask him to describe the scene and then just do you best to play it out for him. Afterward, ask him how you could have done better.

Or does he just want you to talk slutty to him during sex? Or as a prelude to sex? Ask him what sort of language turns him on. Maybe he just likes crude and direct stuff like "fuck my pussy with your huge cock", or maybe he wants something more seductive and suggestive. "It's sooo hot in here! Could you help me take off my shirt?"

In general, when I talk dirty, I try to vary my vocabulary, because repetition usually sorts of kills the excitement. So I've learned a very long list of insults to throw at my boys: fag, faggot, cocksucker, pussy, pussyboy, cunt, bitch, worthless, useless, ass-munch, fuckwad, fucktoy, fuck-up, etc. etc. etc. Once you have a good list, you can sort of mix and match to keep things interesting: worthless faggot, useless cunt, cocksucking pussyboy, faggot bitch, etc. Try varying descriptions of him and his body parts with descriptions of you and your body parts, what you want him to do, what you want to do to him, and so on. "God Sir, your cock is so fucking huge! I really need you to fuck me with it. I want to feel you inside my cunt. My pussy is so wet for you."

It takes some practice to make it believable, so practice it in your head, in front of a mirror, or when you're just cuddling with him. The first few times you say things like this it will probably make you feel embarrassed but it gets easier as you realize that you're vocalizing your desires in a very primal way. You're violating the taboos against saying these things, and that's what gives dirty talk a lot of its power.
 
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Kajmir - he means the past as in past sexual experiences but tbh I dont remember things like that in such detail as I've been with him a very long time. He wants to know everything from what I was wearing to where I was doing it, positions, where and how the guy came...so detailed, it's totally not erotic for me I find having to think too hard and getting off don't go hand in hand for me but it's his kink so I'll go with it.

Thanks for the pointers Sebastian, I think he wants me to talk during sex, or when he's wanking. I find it hard to think of enough words to use so I think it's a good tip to maybe practise beforehand as I know it'll probably come out awkward otherwise and it wont do much for him if I dont sound into/turned on.
 
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lonelyMaster

New Member

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As a guy who LOVES to hear his girl in any kind of relationship talk dirty, let me add that as long as you try, you'll do GREAT. Anything you say will be hot, although the dirtier the better. :p You will become more comfortable with it as you "practice" as seb said (in a very short time). But you literally can do no wrong in this arena. Hopefully that helps you feel less self-conscious.

As for the past experiences thing, it might be that your partner wants to indulge in your slutty side and thinking of you with other men satisfies that safely for him. Recounting dirty things you've done that are new to him (since they were with other men) are exciting and nonthreatening since they were from the far past. Of course I'm really guessing here, I'd suggest asking him why he thinks he's into that. Cause it might help you understand how to do it better.
 
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