Ok brief backstory - I got with a Dom when I was very young (like 16) though didn't realise what he was at the time or what I really wanted, was totally naive and clueless. Over the next few yrs things got very intense and he totally moved on to some serious stuff and was constantly pushing the boundaries way too hard with me which hurt me both physically and mentally, and I ended things totally when he crossed the line into genuine rape. I've been with my current partner for 9yrs (vanilla guy) but never discussed my past in terms of the full extent of my kinks. Yes, I enjoyed some of the stuff I did with my ex and my new partner know that I'm a bit 'different' but my past experiences have left me wary of going back to the old life. At the moment, although my partner knows that I like to bit bitten (he seems quite comfortable with this part and he is willing to hold me down a bit during sex (though lacking enthusiasm) - he is pretty vanilla and whenever there is a programme on about alternative sex or I mention something a bit more 'out there' he always says they are freaks etc. and makes me uncomfortable about pushing the point. Basically, I just need some advice as to what to do. I am trying to be happy with things the way they are but I just can't shake my desire to be tied up properly, spanked etc. but I am worried that my man will be put off and not be willing to go that far, or that once I start back down that road I might bring back bad memories or that I will want to be pushed further than I should. I know that everyone says it's about communication and honesty but I've been trying to get up the nerve to have this talk with him for ages now and it's sooooo hard. Any advice would be great.