Ok so I have talked a bit with my guy and he is still open to exploring this D/s side of our relationship but he did say that he was worried that when he did something that might hurt me he would break character and be all 'oh god are you ok?' or 'did that hurt?' and get worried about me. So, how do I deal with this? My past Dom had no qualms at all about hurting me (was true sadist and causing pain got him off) so I don't know how to work with this. I know my partner loves me and in normal situations would do anything to avoid physically hurting me so how does he get past the mental block of the emotional entanglement? I have mentioned safewords, in that it might help so that he could just get on with it and not worry until I say something to let him know I'm not ok but he still doesn't seem happy with the idea. I've said I don't want anything too extreme but I don't think he believes me - he already jokes that I wont be happy till he has brought out a chainsaw to get me off! Is this a common problem when you go from a vanilla to D/s relationship?