I really have no idea what to do... Advice needed

Sparrow69 · May 20, 2009

there are clubs here in the city that offer participation and classes as well as mentoring

Seattledom · May 20, 2009

There are usually cubs in every city, but if you want to keep it private i dont know what advice to give you. Online isn't going to work for your situation, you need a live person Dom or Domme there to keep him reined in since that is your fear.

Amuk · May 20, 2009

I know how it is wanting to keep things secret, but as Seattledom said, this forum, or any other for that matter, can't help you in the real world when it comes to this situation. Really, I'd listen to both Sparrow and Seattledom.

I can say that Sparrow knows what he is talking about, and if he agrees with Seattledom, then I'd say he does too.

Prissy · May 20, 2009

PersistentReality said:
Thank you (both you of, Prissy you dont give bad advice, if I'm honest I would prefer to be in that sort of situation).
Sparrow - he's on the waiting list for the Community Mental Health Team and a simple mood stabiliser wont work with him (for reasons he has explained but I cant remember exactly).
My biggest fear is that he wont listen to a safeword if he is triggered into a manic episode (he has ultra rapid cycling bipolar), he could loose control of himself and I would be helpless if I was tied up

I am glad I could help, although I was unsure if I was, after what Sir Sparrow said to you.

subspace said:
Oh Prissy you give great advice! You just don't always listen to that advice.

PersistentReality, would you be able to try out an online D/s reationship to test the waters? Maybe this would help with the itch.

Listening to my own advice? Does my own advice ever pertain to myself though?

Sparrow69 · May 20, 2009

often it does indeed....

Prissy · May 20, 2009

Sparrow69 said:
often it does indeed....

Why don't I recognize that then? Is it the timing factor?

Interesdom · May 20, 2009

If you spend the time reading various Internet forums, or go to munches and talk with real people, you will find many women who gave up their submissive side at some point, sublimated themselves in the name of "being normal" or accepting what feminism, instead of female liberation, says they must do and be. Some of these women lived an entire generation, seeing their children grow up and reaching their late forties or more before then, some day, finding that their life has always been hollow, missing fulfilment, even though they have had a moderately happy life. With other women, it is worse: they still have children and a husband, still have a settled life but cannot stand it any more; they sometimes cause damage to everyone around them in needing to be who they are.

Do not live a lie, is what I'm trying to tell you. Do not try to bury who your are or what you know you need.

I can tell you, with everything except absolute, certainty that the way you are going with your current boyfriend will lead to disaster. To try to hold together a long-term relationship you cannot get involved in lying to him. At the moment, you are being dishonest with him about who you are and what you need. He has to know. If you tell him, you put the relationship at risk, if you don't tell him, you put a doom upon it.

Seattledom's advice is sound and he offers a suggestion for one way forward. I would add to his idea by suggesting you look into polyamory. If your first thought is 'no way', well, I still say look into it, learn about it before discarding it.

Oh, and get your man on medication. If you can't trust yourself in bondage around him, how do you ever expect to trust him around a helpless baby?

If you have a master, whoever it is, if he is a good master he will come to command your heart. Whatever his and your intention, if he is good and you are worthwhile, he will have your devotion at the very least. It happens.

If you want to talk direct, message me. I might even be able to put you in touch with one or two women who have been where you are now, many years before.

Sparrow69 · May 20, 2009

well said Interesdom.

subspace · May 20, 2009

Seattledom said:
There are usually cubs in every city, but if you want to keep it private i dont know what advice to give you. Online isn't going to work for your situation, you need a live person Dom or Domme there to keep him reined in since that is your fear.

Sorry, looks like I got this thread off track. I just made a comment about my personal situation that has nothing to do with PersistantReality's original question. Please continue to comment on her issue, this may be the only place she can look to for advice at this point. Sorry!
And ditto to Sparrow's comment Interesdom

I really have no idea what to do... Advice needed

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