How do you respond to this?

Protoman2050 · Jan 11, 2010

Obedient Little Puppy said:
Well, I'm glad you're happy with your new church; you have to do what's right

And I apologise, too, if I sounded like I was trying to 'sway' you in some way, when I described how I ended my lifelong relationship with the Catholic Church. I was a bit worried that what I said might come across like this, but I promise I wasn't trying to make you doubt yourself or anything

My Dad was Catholic before he came to the US and married my Mom...he never could understand the obsession with rituals and why they pray to saints, and act like Mary is superior to Jesus.

Btw, a Christian radio station called KWAVE is pretty hit and miss with this regard...one guy is so liberal as to turn what's supposed to be salvation from sin into a way of making your life easier and successful...the Christian life is not easy or for the weak minded. But another guy is so legalistic as to make pants on wmen "abhorrent". Girls look ugly in skirts, IMHO. And the people calling into Q&A are so stupid...read your Bible before you call, please. Or, have some common sense..."If I broke up with my GF, can we still be friends?" Stop asking us to make your life's decisions for you, please.

I plan to call in one day to ask this question, and see if the liberal and conservative guy will get into an intellectual death match, tying up the phone line for a few good minutes.

You guys have been some of the nicest people to me!

Protoman2050 · Jan 11, 2010

What my new church told me about my idea

OK, here's what I wrote to one of my new church's elder, and his great response:

Is this way for forming relationships (i.e when I get a fiance I wish to marry) acceptable to The Lord? I suffered frontal lobe damage at birth due to my brain being starved of oxygen, so I have relationship diffculties.

I've realized that probably the only relationship structure that I'd be able to function in would be a one where my girlfriend (wife) lets me treat her like a cherished and treasured pet and agrees to put all the responsibility for the relationship onto me (i.e. working out with her an extensive, written agreement defining domestic arrangements and interpersonal matters), due to me needing structure and order in my life, due to the frontal lobe damage I suffered.

I of course can read people's emotions and deeply love someone, it's just that I need predictability in a relationship. Itâ€™s simply an agreed-upon shifting of power done on the basis of mutual trust, so the relationship wonâ€™t be an endless tug-of-war. I will treat my beloved like a lovely and beautiful pet, and give up my life to protect her.

I really cannot function in a regular, normal-style relationship with no agreed plan of dealing with contingencies, because I sincerely fear that it will end in a massive power struggle (due to both parties trying to enforce unspoken, unwritten rules the other party may not even know about), causing both of us to get hurt, and me to leave confused and emotionally damaged. Not that this is impossible with a regular relationship, but this kind of one seems "safer" (whatever that means) to me.

Please advise.

His response:

Hi Doug,
Nice to hear from you. I think you are on the right track. I think that those that have had issues as you marry later in life(mid 30's early 40's). I agree with your assessment of safety and openness as the key to relationships.
Rick

These elders live in the real world, not some fantasy land of vagueness.

Sparrow69 · Jan 12, 2010

im more interested in seeing what you wrote to the original pastors. As i said, what we have here is a very one sided argument.

ReallyGreen · Jan 12, 2010

Suffice it to say, that your basic premise of slave/master relationship is terribly flawed, heretical, anathema to Scripture, condescending, and filled with sexual overtones which should never be associated with Christian marriage or God’s Holy Word.

This is my favorite part. If you've ever read the Christian bible you'd be well aware that:
1. Slavery is acceptable to God. (As is genocide, but that has nothing to do with your letter).
2. Wives and Daughters are property (in every legal sense of the word) of their husbands/fathers.
3. "The song of Solomon" is an entire Bible chapter that is, quite literally, a poem about oral sex. And this is far from the only "sexual overtone" in the collected works.

Protoman2050 · Jan 12, 2010

ReallyGreen said:
This is my favorite part. If you've ever read the Christian bible you'd be well aware that:
1. Slavery is acceptable to God. (As is genocide, but that has nothing to do with your letter).
2. Wives and Daughters are property (in every legal sense of the word) of their husbands/fathers.
3. "The song of Solomon" is an entire Bible chapter that is, quite literally, a poem about oral sex. And this is far from the only "sexual overtone" in the collected works.

I know! Another favorite quote: "Am I to understand that I, too, am too narrow-minded to allow for BDSM in the Christian life? Let me make this clear... I am not a narrow-minded person when it comes to sex. In fact, I am rather broad-minded. However, I am entirely biblically-minded."

So you've just contradicted yourself, as well as believe that the Bible being silent means something. If you have to turn the Bible into a machine-shop specification for how to live your life, there's something wrong with you.

Oh, btw, the original emails were written when I was younger, just beginning to understand this thing, and I worded stuff all wrong. So it didn't sound too nice.

ReallyGreen · Jan 12, 2010

Don't worry about it. The world has a way of dealing with young people.

Sparrow69 · Jan 12, 2010

Protoman2050 said:
Oh, btw, the original emails were written when I was younger, just beginning to understand this thing, and I worded stuff all wrong. So it didn't sound too nice.

So then perhaps it was your wording that caused such a stance to be taken. as it seems that once you figured out how to word things, the other pastor was more accepting. Somehow I knew there was more to this story.

Things often get lost in translation when using written word, as we as humans communicate using body language to divulge 90% of what it is we are saying. if you openly admit you worded what you were saying, and that you were young and didnt understand what it was you were saying, then accept the fact that your written words are what caused the pastors stance, instead of trying to get a rise out of people here to help bolster some sense of self justification.

I appreciate you saying that you were wording things wrong when initially discussing, because that tells us that the responses were taken out of context, and without seeing what the response was in response to, it tells us nothing about the response itself. For all we know, he could be a very open minded priest, who didn't take kindly to your explanation of chaining a girl to your foot board and making her go to the bathroom in a litter pan before you sodomized her against her will while beating her nipples until the bled with a rosary while your buddies jerked of fin the corner and thanked you for being such a good husband as to share your wife's pain with them. We simply don't know, and therefore we cannot actively judge the responses.

I'm glad that you learned some things and at least picked up the lingo before speaking with another pastor about it, but my question is, "why do you need the approval of a pastor to know your own desires?"

ReallyGreen · Jan 12, 2010

Faith indoctrination is incredibly hard to shake.

master jey · Jan 12, 2010

sparrow has a point...

ReallyGreen · Jan 12, 2010

He has many good points. That is why invading armies will probably kill him first.

How do you respond to this?

Protoman2050

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master jey

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