Have you ever been criticized for your lifestyles?

Protoman2050 · Jan 10, 2010

Has anyone ever been insulted for their lifestyle choice?

I have High Functioning Autism/Asperger's/Schizoid Personality Disorder (my psychologist has never quite put her finger on it) due to
a hypoxic brain injury at birth (I can pass for a normal 18 year old, however!).

So I came to an early realization that my brain is wired differently for relationships. I do not see my future girlfriend/wife as a
functional equal (she's definitely an ontological one though; she's not less of a person than I am!)...instead, I see her as a treasured and cherished pet, someone to be loved unconditionally and be protected at all costs, and to return that love with her devotion and service. Until death do we part ways.

I thought saying this would show the leader of my former youth group at church (I've sinced changed churches to a far stricter one that yet still has love and compassion and understands things like this, not passive-aggressiveness disguised as love and compassion and fails to
understand that some people are wired differently) that I'd be a great example of how to treat someone you love (we were discussing
relationships and sex [i.e. an exercise in making everyone uncomfortable]).

Was I wrong! He told me I was a sick perverted porn addict, and that I was condescending towards women (why then, would I want to be in a
relationship with one?), and was grossly selfish and immature. I defended myself.

I then got this gem of a response: "Let me make this clear... I am not a narrow-minded person when it comes to sex. In fact, I am rather
broad-minded." We weren't discussing sex, we were discussing a non-sexual chaste relationship. Also, it seems that if you believe that
this minor modification to an otherwise healthy vanilla relationship is "heretical", you obviously are very narrow-minded and believe that
my God's kingdom is made out of balsa wood...heresy is defined as denying the deity of Christ or the Trinity in some form. Have I ever done that? No.

Later: "I am not sure, even, why the last e-mail would cause you hurt?". OMG! Are you autistic?!? You've just said that the only way
I'd be able to manage a relationship was heretical, and called me a sex addict and an immature person! If you can't see how that would
hurt a person, you are in a far, far, far worse situation in life with interpersonal relationships than I am.

He then threatened me with bringing me before the entire church. This actually made me nervous. For about 5 seconds, when I realized he didn't hve the force of character to stand before the church to announce this.

I am so glad my Mom had a falling out with that church over an issue with a heretical book he picked out for a study she was leading. He
called her "incompetent". So we left, and we're very happy at our new church, where the sermons are fascinating and philosophical (rather
than this non-intellectual, touchy-feely, egotistical garbage we got formerly), and the pastor and elders don't act like this is the end of
the world, as long as it's kept SSC, isn't abusive, and is monogamous. I'm fine with that.

That guy had a SERIOUS ego problem.

I'd like to know if any of you Masters/Mistresses or slaves have gotten railed upon for your lifestyle choices, so I know I'm not the
only one. Also, can you guys NOT do what this one guy said "don't go to church", because that didn't help at all, nor answer my question.

BTW, based on my statement in the 2nd paragraph, would I make a good, loving, kind Master?

Also, what is an abusive slave? I can easily understand an abusive Master/Mistress, but I can't understand how to recognize an abusive
slave.

I also prefer the term "pet", rather than slave, as slave has too many unwanted, especially undesired sexual, connotations for the uninitiated. IE refering to my GF as my "pet" wouldn't cause my friends and family to bat an eye, and would seem cute. Referring to her as my "slave", however, would probably cause a backlash like the one I described above.

Thanks for all you support!

InnocentFacade · Jan 10, 2010

Well, I , for one, realized at age 6 that church wasn't for me. Perhaps I haven't experienced a "proper" church, or whatever, but I always found people who claimed to be highly religious, compassionate, and accepting people tend to be the most egotistic, compassionless, excluding people around. Now, I don't know if you were asking your question to be answered about religion, so I digress. In short, yes and no. I have some of the best friends anyone could ever know, and most of them know about my tendencies. I say tendencies rather than lifestyle because, let's face it, I'm 19 and have not experienced my niche into this "lifestyle" yet. Most of them are super cool and either don't bat an eye or ask questions about it which I am pleased to answer. However, I've also "come out" to some people, and had them disappear from my life after telling me I was weird, looking for an abuser, or (my personal favorite) "begging to be raped". All in all, of course you're not alone.

kittengrey · Jan 10, 2010

Try being bashed at school for having a girlfriend. You would think that being bi would be a turen on for the guys, right? No, I got bashed to all hell. High school sucked ass major. True, bisexuality isn't a lifestyle per say, but still.
Anyways, back to the lifestyle subject, I never went public with it. I mean, its very "behind closed doors", though my parents caught drift of it way back when and almost threw my Master in jail, it was a major/minor relationship, and they basically thought he was a predator and was gonna kidnap me or some ridiculous shit. Who ever said I didn't want to be kidnapped by him? >=D anyways,I'm with him now and not speaking to my rents. so all's well that ends well

Protoman2050 · Jan 10, 2010

Well, at least I'm not alone! It was the fact the youth pastor went around asking for people's opinions...if you don't want to hear an unfavorable answer, don't ask the question.

Being around the right people really helps. I find it hilarious that my new church, which is very conservative (with our doctrine, and we believe that rules like women should only wear skirts, and men shouldn't have long hair or peircings, and certain forms of music are bad per se, are preposterous and distracting) accepts me just fine. In contrast, the old church, which is quickly going down a path of rituals to "get closer to God", and just plain losing it's label of Protestant Christianity, acted like I was a sociopathic serial rapist and abuser.

I went public to an elder in an email, back when I was introducing myself to my new church, and he had some concerns of course that I respected, but he basically said that since there's no outright prohibition, what you do with your future wife is between you, her, and God.

When I get into a relationship with my future pet/wife, I have half a mind to take her on a leash to that former pastor's office, and say "You told me I was a sociopathic dangerous person. Guess what? We've been married and she's been wearing my collar for 18 months now, and we've never been happier! What now? Are you going to congratualate us, or are you going to yell at us and call us names?"

Actually, the way he's managing that institution (he told my Mom to go buy a fridge for the office, so she went out and did all sorts of comparison shopping, and she bought it. When she brought it to the church, he said that he changed his mind and we don't need it any more), he's probably going to get kicked out sooner or later.

That entire place can't manage itself at all. It's like the Enron of churches.

Zandar · Jan 10, 2010

Protoman2050 said:
I have High Functioning Autism/Asperger's/Schizoid Personality Disorder (my psychologist has never quite put her finger on it) due to a hypoxic brain injury at birth (I can pass for a normal 18 year old, however!).

You sound like one interesting personality

(and I mean that in a positive way).

Anyway, about your topic:

I have never been insulted by my lifestyle. Got to admit, I didnt tell many people, but the people I told either thought I was joking (or acted like that to deal with it) or added it to the list of aspects of my personality. I also think that the general open minded attitude of the Dutch people helps a lot.

About the church thingie: Sounds like you found the right people if they accept you for who you are. Conservative and accepting for who you are; sounds like a really rare church

.

Protoman2050 · Jan 10, 2010

Zandar said:
You sound like one interesting personality (and I mean that in a positive way).

Anyway, about your topic:

I have never been insulted by my lifestyle. Got to admit, I didnt tell many people, but the people I told either thought I was joking (or acted like that to deal with it) or added it to the list of aspects of my personality. I also think that the general open minded attitude of the Dutch people helps a lot.

About the church thingie: Sounds like you found the right people if they accept you for who you are. Conservative and accepting for who you are; sounds like a really rare church .

Thanks! There are people who can't stand me (luckily VERY rare), but most people either really like me, or never notice anything odd.

Funny thing: I like putting copper pennies on my tongue, because the electric voltage makes my tongue feel funny in a good way. I like metallic tastes.

Yeah, my church are great people; I thought the entire congregation would be a bunch of old people, but it turns out there were some really cool people around my age there; one of my friends likes the exact same music I do, and even bought me my favorite Glenn Beck book for my b-day. They're the last of a dying breed of sensible churches: most churches I've been to are either touchy-feely, or fascist.

Is it okay, if I post a transcript of the main email that guy sent me condemming bdsm? I want to see how many misconceptions he posited, since I'm new to this.

I know one issue I'll have: restraining my urge to be overprotective of my slave...she probably wouldn't enjoy being treated like a 15 year old, and I wouldn't enjoy turning into my best friend's mom, LOL.

master jey · Jan 10, 2010

well i had such a problem with my dad he's narrow minded bestard who doesn't understand
bdsm?
are you gay son?
you need to go to psichiater!
FUCKEN BESTARD>>>
well at least my brother understands,we're really friendly with him
back to topic bout church
well i have never found good enaugh church for me you are lucky P-man i just think of them as a nerrow minded zombie kind of fools...i hated them from early ages so became atheistic

Yeah, my church are great people; I thought the entire congregation would be a bunch of old people, but it turns out there were some really cool people around my age there; one of my friends likes the exact same music I do, and even bought me my favorite Glenn Beck book for my b-day. They're the last of a dying breed of sensible churches: most churches I've been to are either touchy-feely, or fascist.

i kinda wanna be in your place

Protoman2050 · Jan 10, 2010

master jey said:
well i had such a problem with my dad he's narrow minded bestard who doesn't understand
bdsm?
are you gay son?
you need to go to psichiater!
FUCKEN BESTARD>>>
well at least my brother understands,we're really friendly with him
back to topic bout church
well i have never found good enaugh church for me you are lucky P-man i just think of them as a nerrow minded zombie kind of fools...i hated them from early ages so became atheistic

i kinda wanna be in your place

I feel bad for you...that church obviously failed in it's mission of spreading the Gospel of Christ, and instead turned into the same Pharisees that Jesus fought during His ministry on earth. Adding extra rules to the Bible to earn God's favor is sinful, because it means your way is better than simply trusting in Him.

My church is in La Mirada, amazingly just a few miles away from those heretics at Biola (also, despite them being fundamentalist [despite the liberties they take with the Bible] somehow the percentage of LGBTs there is double the the percentage in the general population, which indicates something about them, I just don't know what). I have resolved never to pay $40K/year attend such a campus of liars. Why don't you come on down to sunny Southern California!

Weird thing: I only understood the phrase "submit to Jesus all your ways" after learning about BDSM. It meant for me to trust Him to look after me and care for me and in return devote myself fully to His service, not that he's a tyrannical despot or that I should be careless in running my affairs.

My relationship with my slave will imitate that.

kittengrey · Jan 10, 2010

So Jey, your dad was not cool with it either, eh? Well, I guess my dad's just being protective, but Master told his parents a little about the lifestyle in general, not that we were involved or anything, cuz they had looked it up online and found nothing but p0rn, so they kinda have the wrong idea, but Master's explaining it to them little by little to clear up the confusion.

master jey · Jan 10, 2010

your perents are still better my dad is fucken army man and thinks i'm gay...
he was disgusted with lifestyle itself

Have you ever been criticized for your lifestyles?

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