Separate Feelings

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by subspace, Dec 27, 2009.

  1. subspace

    subspace Member

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    Is it hard for anyone else to separate out their feelings between scenes? I know it is a huge difference for those who are 24/7 vs. part time but what I am wondering is if your Dom is disappointed in you because of something you did in a scene then how does that affect your feelings/emotions/actions toward each other until the issue is resolved? I tend to have a hard time letting go of the feeling that I have disappointed my Dom, even though he reminds me that ‘we’ are okay but will need to address the situation. Is it difficult to be with your D/s partner out of role when an issue from a scene has not yet been resolved? One thing that I am grateful for is that once I perform the required discipline or punishment He lets it go, I however, you may notice, keep coming back to it and analyzing it. Is this just another subbie trait?
  2. EZRA

    EZRA Member

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    I'm afraid my dear it's probably a subbie trait.
    It doesn't matter what it's about I can't let go of stuff that upsets me untill the other party and me get it resolved.

    ( you might have noticed) :)

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    Ahh people-pleasing ftw. I have been known to beat a subject to death because I'm not quite satisfied that I've been apologetic enough . . . which usually annoys him more than the actual act >.<
  4. subspace

    subspace Member

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    Yes i have noticed! ;)
    Maybe its just a sign of a good sub to want to over analyze a misstep in order to better ourselves and avoid making the same mistake again.

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    For myself, I often get insecure because that's the kind of person I am :(

    I feel sometimes like I have failed my master, and I often get really upset when I have to throw down my monkey safetoy to end a session. I feel really bad because I can go no further, or because I sometimes get panicky even though I know I am completely safe with my master.

    Luckily for me, he is really good about this. He has never ignored my signal to stop, and is always very soothing and comforting afterwards, reassuring me that all is well, and that my being okay is the only important thing. Sometimes I will still be feeling self conscious about whatever happened a good couple of hours later, but am never made to feel at fault, and for this I am relieved :)

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