How do you respond to this?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Protoman2050, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. Protoman2050

    Protoman2050 Member

    I just wanted to ask if you can respond to the emails a psychotic former pastor I once had sent to me...what would you say to such a man?

    Btw, here's the site that was referenced:

    Please, I'd like an experienced practitioner to respond to this, and tell me what s/he'd say to someone who talked to you like that. Pretend these emails were sent to you, and you were responding. I know he's making a bunch of contradictions and misconceptions, but I'd like to know which specifi misconceptions he indicated.

    This will mean a lot to me,
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  2. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    i still think he's nerrow minded fool...i would just knock out all his teese...what a bestard
  3. Protoman2050

    Protoman2050 Member

    Yeah...I just ignored him. I was like, why should I continue to explain something to someone who obviously has the learning capacity of a piece of styrofoam. Wait, that's offensive to the piece of styrofoam, which is like a PhD compared to him.
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  4. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    you now you did great ignoring him this is the best way,knoking his teese out wouldn't do any good i'm just hursh
    an i always thought thet everything in church is incognito i don't think he has a right to discuss your "problems"(i mean by it thet he thinks it's a problem)with others and your family
    i would post a better reply but my store of english words is poor i'm sorry
  5. Protoman2050

    Protoman2050 Member

    Seriously. Oh, btw, teese is spelled "teeth".
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  6. EZRA

    EZRA Member

    I have found that it is impossible to change the mind of anyone who dosent want to change thier mind.

    Ask your self how important is it to you ,that he accepts your choices?

    My problem with religion has always been the requirement and the idea that the same choices are expected to be right for everyone.
  7. By the sound of it, this man is not even willing to try and understand you. So, as stated above, changing his mind, or at least getting him to try and understand your viewpoint, is never going to happen.

    I'm wondering, now, if maybe he has done something BDSM related in his past, that went wrong, and perhaps he is doing what he's doing to you now out of concern (although even if this is the case, I would still think that he's going about it completely the wrong way)? I'm guessing this is probably not likely, and that he is just being narrow minded after all, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to bring this up next time you speak to him?

    I also have another question: how important is the church to you, especially when measured against how much you value BDSM? Is it just this one guy causing you problems, or do other church members feel the same way? Because if you wish to continue an actively religious life (you mentioned Christianity, but is this Catholic, Protestant, something else...?) then you need to be happy, and not made to feel like shit by members of your church.

    I used to be a Catholic, but had a crisis of faith, I suppose you could call it, in around my late teens. I had been feeling sceptical and disillusioned for a number of years by this point, and having these thoughts wasn't doing me any good. I just wanted out of the Catholic Church, out of religion altogether in fact. My mother was not impressed by this, and set up an appointment with me to see our priest.

    And this, let me tell you, was a very interesting chat. I just said to the priest straight, I don't believe in any of this stuff any more, it's not doing anything for me, I want out. And he looked me in the eye and said that it was okay to feel the way I did. That it was perfectly normal to feel this way, and that if I didn't think religion was going to be of any use to me, then there was no point in me pursuing it any further.

    He was really good with me during that chat, and I left there feeling a whole lot better about things. I stopped going to church there, and a few months later, my parents converted from Catholic to Methodist, which, in my opinion, is a more relaxed religion. I attended a couple of their services out of curiosity, but this didn't do anything for me either. I stopped going to church altogether after that, and I have not been happier :)
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2010
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  8. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    I do so believe that there is more to this story, and without hearing the other side, or the emails you sent to him, i cannot comment. what we have here is a one sided argument.
  9. Protoman2050

    Protoman2050 Member

    Only the youth pastor and senior pastor were this way. Only they had a problem, everyone else didn't seem to care. The ones who did act like I was abnormal were ones I didn't care for anyway.

    That church had a whole bunch of hypocrisy that finally surfaced when my Mom realized how much that man was lying when he selected a book written by a Catholic mystic (why are we, Protestants, supposed to read this?) for my Mom's Bible study she was supposed to lead. When she expressed concern, he called her incapable. Also he donates to LGBT groups, yet he claims he's not associated. WTF?

    We changed churches to a onservative Reformed Baptist one when our family friends got disgusted with all of the crap going on, and they've completely accepted me. Even though their more strict with what they believe, they're also not a bunch of Pharisees in using rules to achieve holiness. IE that pastor's sermons were SO irreverant and he always talked about himself. The new pastor is intellectual, can really explain the Bible, and "smart funny", not touchy-feely, incapable of explaining the Bible, and appeals to the LCD.

    My church is important, and my BDSM is slightly less important. Luckily, this new church realizes I'm just have a different approach to managing a relationship, and that I understand the lost art of chivalry and respect to women.

    I've moved on with this issue with this guy. However, I may end up catching him at my Starbucks, so I'll just say hi and move on.
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  10. Well, I'm glad you're happy with your new church; you have to do what's right :)

    And I apologise, too, if I sounded like I was trying to 'sway' you in some way, when I described how I ended my lifelong relationship with the Catholic Church. I was a bit worried that what I said might come across like this, but I promise I wasn't trying to make you doubt yourself or anything :)
  11. Protoman2050

    Protoman2050 Member

    My Dad was Catholic before he came to the US and married my Mom...he never could understand the obsession with rituals and why they pray to saints, and act like Mary is superior to Jesus.

    Btw, a Christian radio station called KWAVE is pretty hit and miss with this guy is so liberal as to turn what's supposed to be salvation from sin into a way of making your life easier and successful...the Christian life is not easy or for the weak minded. But another guy is so legalistic as to make pants on wmen "abhorrent". Girls look ugly in skirts, IMHO. And the people calling into Q&A are so your Bible before you call, please. Or, have some common sense..."If I broke up with my GF, can we still be friends?" Stop asking us to make your life's decisions for you, please.

    I plan to call in one day to ask this question, and see if the liberal and conservative guy will get into an intellectual death match, tying up the phone line for a few good minutes.

    You guys have been some of the nicest people to me!
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  12. Protoman2050

    Protoman2050 Member

    What my new church told me about my idea

    OK, here's what I wrote to one of my new church's elder, and his great response:

    His response:
    These elders live in the real world, not some fantasy land of vagueness.
  13. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    im more interested in seeing what you wrote to the original pastors. As i said, what we have here is a very one sided argument.
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  14. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    This is my favorite part. If you've ever read the Christian bible you'd be well aware that:
    1. Slavery is acceptable to God. (As is genocide, but that has nothing to do with your letter).
    2. Wives and Daughters are property (in every legal sense of the word) of their husbands/fathers.
    3. "The song of Solomon" is an entire Bible chapter that is, quite literally, a poem about oral sex. And this is far from the only "sexual overtone" in the collected works.
  15. Protoman2050

    Protoman2050 Member

    I know! Another favorite quote: "Am I to understand that I, too, am too narrow-minded to allow for BDSM in the Christian life? Let me make this clear... I am not a narrow-minded person when it comes to sex. In fact, I am rather broad-minded. However, I am entirely biblically-minded."

    So you've just contradicted yourself, as well as believe that the Bible being silent means something. If you have to turn the Bible into a machine-shop specification for how to live your life, there's something wrong with you.

    Oh, btw, the original emails were written when I was younger, just beginning to understand this thing, and I worded stuff all wrong. So it didn't sound too nice.

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