How did you meet your current partner?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by subspace, Jul 31, 2009.

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  1. subspace

    subspace Member

    In light of the ‘giving up’ thread I thought it would be good to hear about how we all got to where we are today.

    I refer to my husband as Top in the forum but he wasn’t always this.
    We started out as best friends then I went to college and he went into the Marines and we continued our friendship through letters and phone calls when allowed (this was before email).
    We knew all about each other, every secret no holds barred because there was no need to try and impress each other.
    Well then towards the end of college I started getting into the BDSM scene.
    He had always been okay with hearing the crazy stories of boyfriends and all the drama that ensues and I had no problem reading about all his exploits as he traveled the world but as I told him about my first BDSM experiences the relationship turned, he became concerned that I would let men tie me up and hit me etc.
    Suddenly he was coming home on leave more frequently and these visits turned into an effort to “save†me from my newly found BDSM lifestyle.
    This continued for a couple of years until we did eventually get married.
    But before marriage there were endless talks about my need for BDSM, that I cannot enjoy life and sex to its fullest without it.
    He was a natural Alpha male (why I was attracted to begin with) and he was able to slowly become the Top that I needed.
    The relationship isn’t perfect and I still think I need this more than he does, but over the years it has become more a part of him.
    Its not easy by any means, we often have a hard time knowing where to draw the line and sometimes run into trouble when the communication is off.
    We have tried the 24/7 and the ‘just in the bedroom’ lives and now have a mix, we can tell just by a look that ‘game is on’.
    I do still crave a more intense BDSM lifestyle but this has been a good fit, not perfect but I think about as good as you can get and still be in a monogamous relationship.

    So how has everyone else gotten to where they are today?
     
  2. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    Her collage roomate was a friend of mine. She said/did some pretty bad things and called me to apologize and i made her feel so bad about what she did she threatened to kill herself... so when i called her back later on, my now wife, cussed me out because the campus security had raided their room for sharp objects and my "friend" was at the councilors office being evaluated to see if she needed to be admitted.
    I told her what happened, in detail, and she then understood why things went down the way they did, and we began talking... the rest is, as they say, history.
     
  3. Nyx

    Nyx Member

    I met my master, love and now boyfriend (such an unserious word!) at college. We were not close friends but I knew him from a class we took together. At a reunion party for the class (it was a great class, what can I say?!) he asked me to hang out with him. So we started hanging out and talking a lot and he mentioned something jokingly about bdsm, to which I, probably to his surprise, admitted being into. We talked more and more and started out as strictly a top/bottom relationship. We have since moved into a master/slave relationship and are dating. He's amazing, basically. Sweet and gentle when needed and stern and commanding when needed.
     
  4. I actually met my slave/husband on a website... alt.com while I was in college. We talked online for a few months, then met in person... developed a sub/Mistress relationship... began dating... our relationship moved to a 24/7 TPE and we got married about a year and a half after he became my slave. We still have a 24/7 TPE relationship although we've had to make a few adjustments to fit in kids and vanilla family.
     
  5. Tarynsslave

    Tarynsslave Member

    I lived with my current Owner/Mistress for about five years before experimenting with BDSM. It was strictly vanilla until I came out as a submissive one day. She was immensely turned on by the idea of being the one in control, wearing the pants, etc. Things sorta clicked with us.
    We tried a few short-term total-power exchanges to ensure that we knew what we were getting into. Two years ago, when i proposed to my girlfriend, i was given a copy of an Ownership Contract. My enslavement "officially" began with the collaring ceremony during our honeymoon. We practice a very female-led marriage.
    I am so lucky to have discovered my partner's hidden Dominant side. She LOVES being a Domme. In fact, I feel that our relationship has only gotten stronger with time. Mistress Taryn is a loving and wonderful, yet assertive, woman whom I am forever grateful to be Owned by her.
     
  6. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    I was going on a college visit and he was on the campus because he knows a professor there. He said hello to me while I was waiting for my mother, and I heard his accent and asked him where he was from. We talked for a little bit. It was awkward at first because I was 18 and he was 34, but I actually ran into him again when I moved on campus, and he asked me out to dinner. We started dating but it was pretty platonic for a while, then I teased him one day about needing to be punished by him. Then I was late for a date, and we teased all night I was bad and so on, so when we got to the apartment he ended up spanking me for my first time. We slowly moved into more hardcore things, but it took a while for me to have sex with him, (I was a virgin and the age difference freaked me out a little)
    We don't live together, but live a 24/7 lifestyle and I love it. My Master is the only man I can see myself serving

    Now we have been together for 2 years, and it is very serious.
     
  7. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Craigslist ad.
     
  8. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    Really Really Really dangrous. Just saying. If you go down that route, make sure you know what you are doing.
     
  9. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Going on a year so far....... Craigslist is probably a lot more dangerous to young women than middle aged men. I've had nothing but good experiences so far.
     
  10. But you're not middle aged :(
     
  11. Craigslist can be very dangerous if you're not careful. I have had some wonderful results from craigslist and some scary results. I also had some luck on collarme . com

    The thing is though, you can't discriminate against meeting people from the internet, there is just as much chance for meeting a creep at a local bar. At least on the internet you can get to know them a little better before you decide and if you don't like them, no worries, just block. Plus I have found that it's helpful for meeting people in the lifestyle, how would you bring that up at a grocery store or library? "Oh my, that's a nice wooden spoon you've got there...wonder if it's handle is sturdy...."

    Though the thought of hanging out in the kitchen utensils aisle in an effort to meet somebody in the lifestyle is funny. Or maybe menards/home depot....just lurk in the rope section :D
     
  12. Haha . . just had the image in my mind of someone standing there, next to a stranger, swishing a spankything and raising the eyebrows with a smile. :rolleyes: :D
    I was friends with OLP online, that is where we got to know each other, our mutual interests somehow came through in our chats, and we lived close to each other.
    One of the best days of my life, when we met up. Of course, you have to be careful meeting people, if it's online or in a bar, but sometimes you have to go for it. :)
     
  13. vanilla137

    vanilla137 New Member

    I had just moved to where I am living now, after coming out of a not so good relationship..so I was very anti-men. My dad's PA said that she had someone she wanted me to meet, and that I must go out with them that Fri..I can honestly say that I wasn't too keen too...didn't want to go through more heartache just yet. But I went. He was still dating someone else, and he knew why i'd been brought there...I had a few shooters, walked up to him and introduced myself, and walked away!!!! His then girlfriend was there that night-we obviously didn't make friends.

    I saw him that Sunday, and I told my friend that I was interested-much to her joy!
    We started dating shortly after that, and it's been a year and a half now. He's always been into BDSM, and he's taking it slow with me...seeing what I like and don't, and what my pain threshold is..which I am very grateful for...and so far, i'm loving it!!! I just want more!!!!
     
  14. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    30s are in the middle. Its the beginning of the middle sure, but I'm not 'young' (17-29), and I've got a few years until 'old. So that leaves the middle.

    Or change my post to "Craigslist doesn't seem to be as dangerous to 30-something men as it does to twenty-something women." What can I say, I'm no Teressa Dunn.
     
  15. Master and I met in a soil science class (how dorky!). We were both dating other people and I was the aggressor. We started hanging out on the day his beard was 100 days old (100 days out of the Marine Corps). After that we had a standing date once a week to get dinner or a couple of beers (Jack and coke for me) after class. One day he "jokingly" spanked me on my way out the door and I nearly came... I ended my relationship right there but he took a couple more days, he was trying to be "normal". Eventually he decided that they weren't right for each other and they broke up. Within a month he collared me. I have been his slave for nearly a year now (I can't wait for Halloween!). I am completely devoted to him and we plan on using the knowledge we gained in soil science to open our own organic farm/ranch.
     
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