Gilgland
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If you don't mind me asking Twisted, what were some of the misconceptions you had the he helped you clear up?
I am very similar to your Dom in that even tho I like to be in control, what makes me happy, when all is said and done, is knowing I made my partner happy. That may sound kind of backwards to some, and admittedly I was very confused by that for a long time but I realized that the nature of power exchange is kind of circular. The Dom is in charge but when the sub is actually the one with the most power because as soon as the safe word is said everything stops. My paradox that I finally had to accept is that it is ok, as a Dom, to actually put my partner's wants, needs, fantasies and desires before my own, but I then realized that the way a sub often gets gratification is doing exactly what their Dom wants them to. For a long time I questioned if I was actually dominate at all until I figured that out. I knew I wanted to be the one in control but my feelings of wanting to please my partner first and foremost seemed to conflict with that until I realized that taking that position of dominance was exactly what a submissive person finds pleasure in.
I am very similar to your Dom in that even tho I like to be in control, what makes me happy, when all is said and done, is knowing I made my partner happy. That may sound kind of backwards to some, and admittedly I was very confused by that for a long time but I realized that the nature of power exchange is kind of circular. The Dom is in charge but when the sub is actually the one with the most power because as soon as the safe word is said everything stops. My paradox that I finally had to accept is that it is ok, as a Dom, to actually put my partner's wants, needs, fantasies and desires before my own, but I then realized that the way a sub often gets gratification is doing exactly what their Dom wants them to. For a long time I questioned if I was actually dominate at all until I figured that out. I knew I wanted to be the one in control but my feelings of wanting to please my partner first and foremost seemed to conflict with that until I realized that taking that position of dominance was exactly what a submissive person finds pleasure in.
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