MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Ok so it was suggested to me that I make a list of what I want, What I am getting, and what I want that I am not getting so that I can, well, get what I want. (Or close to this...shoot cannot remember exactly...)
I tried mentioning that I would like to take things further but we really haven't. Since I have issues listing specifics I referred him to some reading, but he does not like to read and just has not. I have tried playing domme or being bratty to get him to play, and he does, just still not beyond beginning level. I am getting really frustrated because I really care about him but I am not getting certain needs met. I feel this is only my fault since I cannot just tell him what I want (shy). To begin I think he thought we were sticking to bondage, nothing more.
Up to this point we have tried a lot of new toys. I have started making my own since I am cheap (haha) and wee have played with them. Using hemp and leather we have played with multiple floggers (i love love love them!), single tailed whip, braided with end-knot floggers/whips, canes, nipple clamps and bondage. Oh, and spanking of course! I love all these things and would love to play more with them, just do not want him to think I am a freak or mental.
I suppose I would say at this point I feel like a passive rogue sub with no rules who can run around at my own will with no repercussions to my actions. It is not that I do not want to please him but i do not know how to actively seek submission. At this point I definitely want some direction.
I am still trying to get him to start some sort of training or something for me to go off. Obviously all my attempts have failed and I just do not know how to let him in on the "secret". I am really excited about this new part of myself and really want to share it with my guy but I feel we are lost.... or I just am.... idk
I tried mentioning that I would like to take things further but we really haven't. Since I have issues listing specifics I referred him to some reading, but he does not like to read and just has not. I have tried playing domme or being bratty to get him to play, and he does, just still not beyond beginning level. I am getting really frustrated because I really care about him but I am not getting certain needs met. I feel this is only my fault since I cannot just tell him what I want (shy). To begin I think he thought we were sticking to bondage, nothing more.
Up to this point we have tried a lot of new toys. I have started making my own since I am cheap (haha) and wee have played with them. Using hemp and leather we have played with multiple floggers (i love love love them!), single tailed whip, braided with end-knot floggers/whips, canes, nipple clamps and bondage. Oh, and spanking of course! I love all these things and would love to play more with them, just do not want him to think I am a freak or mental.
I suppose I would say at this point I feel like a passive rogue sub with no rules who can run around at my own will with no repercussions to my actions. It is not that I do not want to please him but i do not know how to actively seek submission. At this point I definitely want some direction.
I am still trying to get him to start some sort of training or something for me to go off. Obviously all my attempts have failed and I just do not know how to let him in on the "secret". I am really excited about this new part of myself and really want to share it with my guy but I feel we are lost.... or I just am.... idk
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