Bored and needing to work on myself...

[idee]

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I was introduced to bdsm by someone who drugged me but I enjoyed it. Long story.
I miss my master but I am married to someone who has potential though. Except he likes to hit real hard. He tells me this is what I would have felt had I been sober during the time with my last master.
I think he may just have a mean streak.
Well I am willing to cheat to see my old master and possibly leave but not until I finish school. I will be using my present master but my old master wants me educated. Then maybe I can be somewhere in life where I have more control over things. My own money and the master of my choice.
I am a submissive by choice but realize that I don't always like the role 24/7. I want to be dominate in the work world and submissive in the house.
My old master has experience of years, and my current master/husband is new to it and thinks it's all about pain. What he wants.
I am hoping to leave him soon. The other thing is he always makes me cum and he has only cummed twice with me in almost 8 years of being with me.

 

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[JettOnly]

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Have you spoke to him and said you don't like the pain? I am guessing yes when he says that about its likely what happened when you were drugged
Even as a sub you do not have to do things that really don't work for you
It dosent have to be about pain at all. I don't do pain
So tell him that's a limit for you end of

But
If you don't want to be with someone then leave
Especially don't be in bdsm activities with someone you are lying to

For your own peice of mind and self respect I would say leave him now

 

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[sebastian]

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BDSM is about consensual power exchange. You agree to be submissive to him because doing so gives you pleasure in some way. If you do not enjoy being submissive to him, either tell him how he needs to change it to make it pleasurable for you, or else withdraw your submission. If a dom does bondage, pain play, or other forms of play that the sub does not consent to, it's not BDSM, it's abuse. If you want to leave your current partner, don't do BDSM with him. That's asking for all sorts of problems.

 

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