Help please - What should I describe myself as?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by SlutControl, Sep 7, 2012.

  1. SlutControl

    SlutControl New Member


    Please advise me.

    I am new to the scene and have not yet had any experiences.

    However I know that this draws me like an unstoppable force and my mind is in torture until I start down the path.

    My problem is I don't know what I am.

    I am late 40s.

    I am absolutely not submissive and I am not switch so that eliminates those two areas of descriptions.

    But there are so many titles to confuse me :


    To explain -

    I do not want a wife/ partner as I have one.

    I am very much about control.

    I want a submissive that to spend time with by email/ Skype etc. and in real sessions.

    I want to play with, train, punish (but not severely so I guess I can rule out the title of sadomasochist.). I want to abuse her verbally and play with her mind. Her pleasure will be my main goal, and it will thrill me. I will also want sexual satisfaction.

    If required, I also want to provide emotional support and again if required be a friend

    I also have the desire to find a Daddy's girl, to nurture, play with, and teach her a lesson, physical and mental. Again satisfaction both ways is important.

    So what am I?

    How do I describe myself?
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  2. Roland

    Roland Member

    Aside from the sadomasochist label which you ruled out, all of those other labels describe you based on what you wrote. I wouldn't get hung up on labels. Although the term Master implies that the sub is your slave, which is a deeper level of control than your standard D/s. It is hard to tell from your description whether you are into M/s vs D/s.

    When you talk about finding a daddy's girl, are you implying that you want to engage in age play? It is not necessary to the relationship you were describing, I was just curious. You can have your sub call you daddy and be reliant on you without age play.

    Are you concerned about labels to help you describe yourself to potential subs/slaves? If so, then answer my questions and that will pretty much narrow it down.
  3. SlutControl

    SlutControl New Member

    Hi Roland

    Yes -I am unsure how to describe myself.

    In my mind I want 2 separate people unless I can find 1 person that fulfils all criteria.

    For person 1 this is what I require:

    Age is not important.

    I want a submissive to spend time with on the following basis - regularly - probably daily by email, occasionally by Skype, and (if we are compatible) in real sessions.

    I want to play with, use, train, punish (but not severely unless requested.) I want to abuse verbally and play with minds. My subs pleasure, mentally and sexually, will be my main goal, and it will thrill me. I will also want sexual satisfaction.

    If required, I also want to provide emotional support and again if required be a friend as well as a Master and confidant.

    When I find my sub, she will be mine and I will be fiercely jealous and will absolutely want to own her.

    I have absolutely no issues with sharing as long as my sub asks my permission.

    However I do not want 24/7 control. She will still have her own life to lead

    Person 2 - MUST be young. 18 - 25 kind of age bracket.

    I will spend time on the same basis as above.

    I do not want a baby girl.

    I will want to be a father figure/ confidant/ guide to this person. She will respect me. When we do meet we will play, physically.

    I will not want quite as much control over this person.

    I think on the basis of the above I am probably not M/s but I am D/s?

    However in both cases, I will expect to be called Sir or Master.

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  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    You're a dominant (dom for short). All the other options you listed (other than sadomasochist) are terms of respect that a sub uses. Subs will generally call you Sir, but depending on your wishes, your particular sub may call you Master (although broadly speaking that's reserved for the dom of a sub who is a slave). A daddy is a dom who is less harsh and less controlling with his subs. With sub 2, you're being a daddy, with sub 1 you might be a master, or perhaps just a dom.
  5. SlutControl

    SlutControl New Member

    Thank you sebastian.

    You have clarified what I thought.

    Much appreciated.
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    There's a post in the Newcomer's FAQ about terminology that you might want to look at.

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