What is your gender and position?

Smallest · Nov 24, 2011

I respectfully disagree, and if you'd like I'll write out an argument. But many people are different in their D/s relationship than they are elsewhere (at work, with friends, etc).

JettOnly · Nov 24, 2011

Foreverbunny. Interesting points but I dont think it is as simple as that.
Strangly enough a lot of my female friends are pro doms and most of the guys I know are subs

I kind of think the opposite tho, as females become more empowered in life being sub in a relationship and giving up control will be more 'kinky'

In reality all the vanila relationships I have been in the guys have been the type to take the lead and be in control
It is so natural and commen that these guys dont need to go out and say they are dom and seek a sub, they just naturally control things
A confident guy who knows what he wants is more likely to get the ladies

Whereas a sub man has a harder time - and in regular community a guy is more expected to take the lead so for a sub male to find a stronger lady he often has to join the kinky community

I hope that makes some kind of sense - just my ramblings from what I see
(and BTW I havent added to the poll yet cos Im not sure what label I am going to end up with)

Foreverbunny91 · Nov 27, 2011

@Smallest: Please share your opinion

@JettOnly: I agree but don't agree. I personally agree that being a male sub is harder. Men aren't "supposed" to be submissive and vulnerable. I can't say being judged as gay or a pussy is any worse than being judged as a bitch... But at least a bitch can be sexy. Our culture does not view vulnerable heterosexual males as sexually attractive. These are all generalizations, of course. So I would say being a sub male, IMO, is harder.

I'm not sure if you meant being a female sub will be more kinky, as in it will become taboo or that it will be more popular. I guess if you think about "kinky" in a vanilla way it usually involves the woman being uncomfortable and pleasuring the man (anal sex, being spanked, deep throating, etc.)... But that's just my observation. Making a man uncomfortable isn't just kinky to some people- it's dirty and nasty... (Most of my friends think of me as a rather kinky girl when I admit to partaking in anal sex- then I say my boyfriend also likes being anally penetrated, and I get a lot of cringing faces... Same with oral.) So I would think that if it became kinky to be a female sub it would be more popular... Which is possibly what you are saying??

I whole heartedly believe that it should not matter. Gender shouldn't automatically determine what is okay and not okay for you to enjoy sexually. I personally enjoy some really messed up fantasies, that I feel are morally wrong!! But I can't control my sexual fantasies to fit all of my ideals- so I might as well enjoy them!! If I'm not hurting anyone, it doesn't matter.

And I think there are professional female doms, because it's unusual. Men are "naturallY" dominant, and it's a profession for a woman to be a dominant sexual partner. There are many professional doms the city neighboring mine, but most doms on Craigslist personals are male, and most of the male subs are gay. It's also rare for a female to post an ad as a sub... It does happen, however, and there's usually one post.

Nuka · Nov 30, 2011

This account is used by a couple.

Nuka who is a male Dom and ashlie who is a female sub.

You can normally tell who's typing on here though. I (Nuka) capitalise I and ashlie doesn't. She also signs off normally as ashlie.

Aibo · Dec 4, 2011

@kittengrey: Polls bring out the lurkers. So its good to have one of these now and then.

DominusKimmik · Dec 4, 2011

I am a male Dom.

This is a fascinating pole, thanks for posting.

What is your gender and position?

What is your gender and position? :)

Female Domme

Female sub

Female switch

Male Dom

Male Sub

Male Switch

Other Dom

Other sub

Other switch

Smallest

Moderator

JettOnly

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Foreverbunny91

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Nuka

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Aibo

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DominusKimmik

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