People judging. What is your input in views on today's society and judgement?

panty20130516 · May 16, 2013

Okay. What are your views on today's society of how people live and see things? Please do not be nasty, I just want to know people's views. And if you judge, well.. You judge. You will probably judge me, but thats how you are and how you see things. You don't have to read the rest if you don't want to, they are just some of my views.

I am a bisexual (And gay or bisexuality is not a choice. Its the way people are. Why else would you have a relationship or sexual intercourse with someone you didn't like? Or if it was a choice, I could choose to be Lesbian on the weekend.. You get the point? Thats my view anyway) female, who has a sort of long distance relationship with another female. I am into BDSM/Dominatrix or what ever you wish to call it.

I have nothing against how people go about with their sex lives (unless its like rape or Child Porn etc etc). So even Bestiality I don't mind, as long as people don't force it upon animals.

I personally am not fond of those who do drugs, or smoke... I really dislike the smell and effects it causes.

I find that there are some Christians (not pointing the finger at all, only some) who try to push people into joining their churches or judge everything about people that is considered 'wrong in the eyes of God'... So things like Gay's, sex before marriage, how one should live their life so they will go to Heaven, or lying... But everyone lies in this world. Even Christians. And I know of quite a few who have had sex before marriage. So whats the deal? I know gays is a big thing for them... But still...

Even people who make fun of others who are different.. They bully them, or something... If someone has something like brain damage, people look at them differently... They just want to fit in like everyone else in this world.

I could keep going on, so there are some of my views.. Whats you views

Thanks for reading

Smallest · May 16, 2013

I can't tell whether you're asking about judgment regarding BDSM or regarding everything, can you clarify?

Crazyguy123 · May 16, 2013

I guess my views are about the same as yours. I hate quite a few drugs, but don't mind the people who use them as long as they don't use them around me.

I'm only against non-consensual sex and that's it, though I used to be an extreme prude and was against many different types of sex, gay sex especially, while I was still religious, but a lot of that changed after my deconversion, which was the best thing that happened to me. Lol, what is funny is when some Christians judge and point their finger at everyone that does stuff that is "wrong in the eyes of God" but then ignore a whole bunch of things in their Bibles they don't like and cherry-pick which parts to believe and follow.

Um, only a tiny part of your post even mentions BDSM, so don't be surprised if this gets moved to a different forum. I was expecting this to be about people judging BDSM enthusiasts for enjoying BDSM. I could probably add something about that. There are probably people who negatively judge people who are into BDSM, I was once one of them before I became interested in it, but after realizing what BDSM was all about and discovering my own interest, I realize there is nothing wrong with the people who enjoy it. The vast majority of them are decent people, even if some of them do have a bit of a sadistic streak.

All I really have to say is everyone has a negative opinion of others, whether it be for legitimate reasons or absolutely closed-minded and stupid reasons. I would like to say to the people who negatively judge others because their life-style is a little different, despite the fact that no one is harmed, that if they want to be closed-minded then they can go ahead. If they don't like me because I'm interested in BDSM or they don't like people for being gay or bisexual then they can get out their camera. I would like them to take a picture when I show them my middle finger.

scheppersrules · May 16, 2013

panty20130516 said:
(And gay or bisexuality is not a choice. Its the way people are. Why else would you have a relationship or sexual intercourse with someone you didn't like? Or if it was a choice, I could choose to be Lesbian on the weekend.. You get the point? Thats my view anyway)

Your impulses and desires are not a choice. Your conscious actions are.

Everyone judges people. It's part of our survival instincts. We have to interpret things about our fellow human beings, like whether they are potentially a threat, or can produce good offspring for us, or pleasure us, or help us in some way. Often if I tell someone I smoke 420, they respond with "that's cool, I don't judge." But it's not really true. They are just judging that they're tolerant of that fact about me. If I told them "I'm a crack addict", they would most likely judge me differently, and possibly choose not to associate with me out of fear that that association would potentially have negative consequences on their life.

As far as Christians (which I am not) - every one of us is a sinner. The view of some Christians on homosexuality is holding the teaching of Christianity back, not bringing it forward. I'm writing a film on this.

Smallest · May 16, 2013

I very much agree on the phrase 'I don't judge.' = yes they do, just not negatively. Very good point, although I'm still waiting for clarification before I type a 'real' response to the OP.

scheppersrules said:
The view of some Christians on homosexuality is holding the teaching of Christianity back, not bringing it forward. I'm writing a film on this.

Just to bring this a little off topic, this is very true and makes me sad, since part of the stories about Jesus are that he liked to hang out with the outcasts of society- whores, bankers, etc. The church was even accepting of most scientific breakthroughs several hundred years ago, many requested the publication to be slowed down so the church could incorporate science with their teachings. A large reason that the Protestant and Puritan churches separated was because the Catholic church was not "holy enough" anymore, yet now Catholics are the ones known for being nonprogressive and hyper conservative.

I'm not religious either, but the more I learn about modern christianity, the more I am disappointed. Churches were more progressive before church and state were separated, and that is insane to me.

ETA- I'm writing off the top of my head, thus the lack of dates or back up, but I imagine even if I mix up something you'll know what I mean, since you've researched it.

scheppersrules · May 16, 2013

I think what is happening in today's world is that Christians are seeing that they are losing a grip on people, as more and more alternative perspectives and free thinking are being released into the air. Human beings want freedom and acceptance.

In a way, you can't blame Christians. We're either technically all Christians or we're not. I don't care what anyone else says - it's either the encompassing objective truth about our existence or it is not. If it is the truth, Christians should be doing everything they can to interpret, preach, and incorporate into society everything that it stands for. Some Christians talk about this already, and are insistent about training leaders eventually to hold high roles that can advance this way of thinking, such as POTUS.

I could go on and on about this stuff, but this is a BDSM forum lol. I like your theory about things being different in earlier times of Christianity. I never thought about that.

Also I refuse to call myself an atheist. I hate that word (along with sexual identity labels BTW, and, well, most other labels). My feeling is simple. We haven't figured it out yet. But I believe someday we will.

Smallest · May 16, 2013

I don't blame christianity, it's just that since it came up, and in that context, I thought I'd comment. People and society will have oddities whether or not there is religion. Also, although you're avoiding labels so it doesn't matter, it sounds like you're closer to being agnostic anyway. I consider myself apathetic (I'm somewhere between agnostic and atheist, but I really don't care enough to do spiritual exploration).

Hopefully the next post will be on topic again, but this could be a fun discussion in the offtopic forum!

Crazyguy123 · May 17, 2013

Smallest said:
Hopefully the next post will be on topic again, but this could be a fun discussion in the offtopic forum!

I'll start a thread about this in the Off topic forum. Feel free to join in, anyone!

Lucas_Grindhouse · May 18, 2013

Self-assurance, self-acceptance

Whether you are referring to involvement in BDSM or to sexual orientation, I empathize. It's no fun being put down or vilified.

People sometimes say discrimination is bad but this is inaccurate. Prejudice is bad, discrimination is necessary. Prejudice is categorizing or vilifying an individual before knowing them. It can also be assuming an individual has the same characteristics as a perceived group. Prejudice is bad because people are unique and present a unique set of qualities.

Discrimination is judging a person or situation. Everyone needs to discriminate in order to make decisions. If you didn't make a judgement, you would have no way to make a decision. It's important to judge based on real facts, real events so the subsequent decision is informed.

Unfortunately, people don't always form opinions based on facts, relying instead on outside sources to inform them of the "correct" way to perceive someone or something. Whether the source is religion, peer pressure, media, or anything else, the result is an opinion which cannot be defended.

If you aren't hurting anyone (not talking about BDSM) or forcing yourself on anyone, your sexuality should be your own business. Participation in BDSM is also your choice and nobody's business. If someone says something nasty, you can challenge their opinion, asking for a justification, an explanation. They will usually be unable to provide own since their opinion is not really their own. Challenging people can be bad for your health. Challenge the wrong person and you might be at the wrong end of violence.

If you are comfortable with who you are, other people's opinions won't be taken to heart. You'll know the person isn't able to form a real opinion and you can just let it go.

I'm pan-sexual but I worked in the construction industry most of my life, a very homophobic industry. I had to keep my mouth shut and not divulge who I really was. In my heart though, I could care less what some redneck though about gays or anything else. I encourage you to be strong in self-acceptance.

I wish you every success.
Lucas

Lucas_Grindhouse · May 18, 2013

One more thing

The question of identity is also important to consider. A person may believe their identity is immutable, something born deep inside and unaffected by the world. Actually, a person's identity greatly relies on other people's perception. That's why it can be so hard to stand strong. The other person perceives you in a certain way and this tugs on you, influencing you to be that way.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with like-minded people. They'll be more likely to reinforce your identity, avoiding the tug-of-war you'll feel if you are surrounded with people who disagree with you.

Hope this helps

Lucas

People judging. What is your input in views on today's society and judgement?

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