Stuck in a rut

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by edjixxx, Mar 17, 2012.

  1. edjixxx

    edjixxx Member

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    I'm a sexual person, for me, it's sex, sex sex, sex,sex, Normally, I drive my wife frigging batty with wanting sex 25/8, 366. Yes, that was purposely put that way.....that was until a couple weeks ago. I dropped out the mood and haven't got it back since. I've gone through these spells before, and usually something sexual will snap me out of it. Granted, we're very busy, time pressed, stressed, but who isn't anymore? I've tried all all the usual stuff that's worked in the past, porn, stories, masturbation, that kinda thing. Nothing.

    I'm the 0.0000000002% of people that the longer I go without sex, the less I want it. So now I'm sitting here going 'okay, this sucks, now what?' Any tips/tricks to break the spell before I become smeggin' celibate?

    Screwed, like a drunk driver at a DUI checkpoint......
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Hmm. Sounds like it might be a little depression. Stress can really weigh down on the libido. So find something to do that is actively fun, that doesn't involve sex. That might help.
  3. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

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    I agree that depression and stress can trigger this. My partner can often go off the boil when he is under pressure about other things.

    When he gets like this, I try not to make the actual act of sex the main focus of what we do. That way even if he is in the mood but is worried that his body has other ideas, there is no performance anxiety, it's more like 'let's get naked and just see what happens'. Usually seeing me get off is enough to make him want to do something even if it isn't penetration.

    I think it's important to stay connected physically but full sex doesn't have to be the ultimate goal. Fooling around can be fun too!

  4. Click here for more.
    Hi edji,
    Sorry to hear you're down, my friend. But I think Sebastian and Subarama are on the right track.

    Given the things you already mentioned have been going on lately, and the stress of being away from home with your job, then it wouldn't surprise me if you're suffering from depression.

    I understand that exercise can be an extremely effective treatment. Maybe get the whole family out for some fun in the fresh air. How about a hiking trip? There's nothing less sexy in my opinion :)

    This might sound like odd advice, but by putting yourself in a non-sexy situation then you have a perfect excuse for not feeling sexy. In other words, it's not your fault if you don't feel turned on, and the pressure is off you! Then when you change the situation back maybe it will kick-start your libido.

  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Stanley's right about the exercise. Getting regular exercise, and spending time out in nature, are two of the best treatments for depression there are. It's been demonstrated scientifically, for example, that the more trees one is exposed to, the less likely one is to be depressed. I realize getting exercise might be tricky given your job, but see if you can work in at least 30-45 minutes of exercise 3-4 times a week. Even just long walks or a decent bike ride can do the trick.
  6. edjixxx

    edjixxx Member

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    I'll give it a shot, I could use it anyway, lol. Lots of stuff happening in my world as t the moment. Which also takes away time... I'll keep in touch.

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