Possible Switch/others thoughts and Q's
- Thread starter Phoray
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fdxjettech
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Sounds to me like you want to top from the bottom. That means you seem to be the sub, but are in full control of the person subjecting you to the levels of pain/humiliation that you desire.
Your description of your self also seems to indicate a very lacking interest in the arts of BDSM as much as you just like ruff sex.
It also sound like you should quit playing with the morons your own age an find some one with experience and who is at least ten years older than you. Men are mostly a bunch of idiots at you age. I know I was one once.
And what good are big tits if you don't have a little waist. Just sayin.
Keep searching and you will find your balance
Welcome to the forum.
Your description of your self also seems to indicate a very lacking interest in the arts of BDSM as much as you just like ruff sex.
It also sound like you should quit playing with the morons your own age an find some one with experience and who is at least ten years older than you. Men are mostly a bunch of idiots at you age. I know I was one once.
And what good are big tits if you don't have a little waist. Just sayin.
Keep searching and you will find your balance
Welcome to the forum.
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sebastian
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It's worth pointing out that some doms like to order their subs to dominate them. And of course most doms have a little bit of sub in them as well.
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Phoray
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From what I've read, subs are in more control than the doms and there is supposed to be a trust relationship forged in some way before you even do said things with your partner. So that you trust your dom not to hurt you- you've discussed ideas , shared some fantasies and they learn to know what you're wanting and needing. Set some hard limits and discuss some soft limits.
On top of all that, I have near zero experience with BDSM- incorrect partners, area of the country, lack of money, near workaholic lifestyle. So I can't say for sure if i wouldn't like more "forms" of the BDSM lifestyle. Just that I know what I've liked thus far- the few times I had maybe ... cuffs?... hell, see it's been so long I hardly remember what was even used. I found it frustrating and therefore not fun. I wasn't even tied to anything. When we tried spanking? it wasn't attached to any fantasy or scenario- we just did it to each other to see if the tactile sensation alone was enjoyable.
All this was is idle speculation as to what I could be based on fantasies alone so I could hopefully know a little bit more about myself before hitting the Munch meet. I really do appreciate your reading and commenting! I do!
but thus far I've gotten the suggestion that I'm possibly a selfish submissive type or that I shouldn't even be here at all because what I'm describing isn't BDSM- it's just rough sex. So I can hope you can see where I'm coming from when I state that I'm a little discouraged. if all I like is rough sex, then why am I driving nearly 10 hrs and spending at least $200 to go to a meeting to learn more about it all? I'm probably coming off as a whiner but that's not really my intention :/
On top of all that, I have near zero experience with BDSM- incorrect partners, area of the country, lack of money, near workaholic lifestyle. So I can't say for sure if i wouldn't like more "forms" of the BDSM lifestyle. Just that I know what I've liked thus far- the few times I had maybe ... cuffs?... hell, see it's been so long I hardly remember what was even used. I found it frustrating and therefore not fun. I wasn't even tied to anything. When we tried spanking? it wasn't attached to any fantasy or scenario- we just did it to each other to see if the tactile sensation alone was enjoyable.
All this was is idle speculation as to what I could be based on fantasies alone so I could hopefully know a little bit more about myself before hitting the Munch meet. I really do appreciate your reading and commenting! I do!
but thus far I've gotten the suggestion that I'm possibly a selfish submissive type or that I shouldn't even be here at all because what I'm describing isn't BDSM- it's just rough sex. So I can hope you can see where I'm coming from when I state that I'm a little discouraged. if all I like is rough sex, then why am I driving nearly 10 hrs and spending at least $200 to go to a meeting to learn more about it all? I'm probably coming off as a whiner but that's not really my intention :/
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Phoray
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there we go- I was so sure I had read, perhaps, that Obedient Little Puppy was told by her dom to pinch him and he/she is definitely a submissive. Things like that and my fantasies that more often not revolve around a powerful position but also of being used (completely separate fantasies)... that's why I just thought I must be a switch. 50/50 or 60/40 or some number like that. ^^
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sillylittlepet
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Try finding a new partner, that is to say, a master who's willing to work with your desires
Then you wont be able to say you dont have experience anymore!
I agree that maybe the people your age are all idiots
Then you wont be able to say you dont have experience anymore!
I agree that maybe the people your age are all idiots
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sillylittlepet
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A little! I'm like an A cup so... XD
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Phoray
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I wasn't trying it imply they were amazing- they're mostly a backache. I was just surprised that you seemed surprised- I wasn't boasting.
I'm willing to be submissive to find out if that is indeed my forte. but I really want to try both sides of it before settling down to just one. I have no idea if someone older would really be all that better- the oldest I've gone with is 29 and it didn't ever seem any different. It's he person and not the age that's most important. Offhand, though major age differences (over twenty yrs diff) kind of gross me out. haha probably a soft limit not a hard one!
I guess I should just go to the Munch and meet some folks. I get worried that I may be led astray since I'm a newbie- but then again, I'm pretty stubborn so perhaps that's not even an option.
Thanks for discussing it with me ^^
I'm willing to be submissive to find out if that is indeed my forte. but I really want to try both sides of it before settling down to just one. I have no idea if someone older would really be all that better- the oldest I've gone with is 29 and it didn't ever seem any different. It's he person and not the age that's most important. Offhand, though major age differences (over twenty yrs diff) kind of gross me out. haha probably a soft limit not a hard one!
I guess I should just go to the Munch and meet some folks. I get worried that I may be led astray since I'm a newbie- but then again, I'm pretty stubborn so perhaps that's not even an option.
Thanks for discussing it with me ^^
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fdxjettech
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PHORAY
Dont worry about it too much darlin'. You are just on the first steps of a life long journey of finding yourself. We have all been there.
What you found on the first few responses were not ridicule, but only impressions gathered from your first posts. They were then put back to you so you could see what we heard you say in your post. That happens a lot here I've noticed. It is good in that it makes you rethink the context in which you said things and what it means to others with an objective opinion.
First off you have the most wonderful invention for information gathereing at your disposal. The internet......you can learn anything on it...so use it to firm up your basic knowledge of the subject your interested in.
If you do this, your forays into the real thing may be less haphazard and more enjoyable from the start.
Always keep your safety first. Never meet someone for bondage alone. Use the phone safe system for meets. and never let anyone you've never been with tie you up.
Sebastion can provide you with many other safety tips as he is much more knowledgeable than I.
Keep learning yourself.
Dont worry about it too much darlin'. You are just on the first steps of a life long journey of finding yourself. We have all been there.
What you found on the first few responses were not ridicule, but only impressions gathered from your first posts. They were then put back to you so you could see what we heard you say in your post. That happens a lot here I've noticed. It is good in that it makes you rethink the context in which you said things and what it means to others with an objective opinion.
First off you have the most wonderful invention for information gathereing at your disposal. The internet......you can learn anything on it...so use it to firm up your basic knowledge of the subject your interested in.
If you do this, your forays into the real thing may be less haphazard and more enjoyable from the start.
Always keep your safety first. Never meet someone for bondage alone. Use the phone safe system for meets. and never let anyone you've never been with tie you up.
Sebastion can provide you with many other safety tips as he is much more knowledgeable than I.
Keep learning yourself.
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Master of puppies
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Hello Phoray.
That's kind of evolved now, I get a kick out of OLP pinching my nips and not showing any discomfort, I love to look at her face when she tries harder, and harder to hurt me, maybe a smile or chuckle just to wind her up.
Of course, eventually, she hits target, then she gets the hair pulling, throat grabbing and verbal too. I switch now and again, but that seems to 'combine' it quite well.
Damn ... I love our play.
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