New life

Discussion in 'Section open for any subject to discuss' started by kittengrey, Oct 28, 2009.

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  1. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    Hey guys. A few of you probably noticed that I poofed for about a week or 2 ^^;

    I broke up with my fiance.

    The fact that she was denying me the lifestyle made me violent. I'm a drug addict, I need my submissive hit. I nearly killed her.
    So, I decided to give my ex boyfriend/master another chance. Its everything I wanted and more. and me and him have grow to better suit each other, even though we were apart for so long. It was, and still is, amazing how everything I want, in a partner and a master, is right here right now. And we're getting so comfortable so quickly, like time never existed and we've been together forever already.

    Though, I found the reason why I've become submissive.

    Well, naturally I always was. Not as submissive as I am now, but I was always a submissive personality. I was roleplaying online one day, and my friend and I were having a deep deep rp. My character nearly killed his, and was now apologizing. His character had gone dark, had taken on an emotionless tone, and told my character to get out, and never come back. My mind went blank then, everything got fuzzy and I felt something in the back of my mind snap. Well, after having Master analize the old rp, he dropped a bomb on me; the opposing character used a technique that is used to put slaves in their place in the rp. Well, since that rp last year, I've never been the same. The lifestyle was all I thought about, all I cared about. I wanted to be submissive to obey someone, to give up my freedom and my will. And over time this feeling, needing, got worse and worse. I'm addicted to the high that being submissive gives me, and when Master's not around. I get moody and irritable. So all this, my life being hell for the past year, was triggered by one little roleplay.
     
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  2. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    im glad that you found the courage to make the hard decision to be who you truly are. a lot of people don't get the courage it takes to make such a decision in their life, and quite often, most of the ones who get the chance, don't take it.
     
  3. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    -dies- sparrow commented me ^^ -feels special-

    anyways...yeah, I'm really glad I grew balls and contacted my Master. If I didn't I'd still be in an unsatisfying relationship and masterless.
     
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  4. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    im sure a sub like you, who has the courage to accept who they are, and embrace that even though it means sacrificing something they feel strongly for and hold great feelings for, would not be masterless for long.
     
  5. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    is been 4 weeks and already I'm dependent on him. We only see each other for 2 days each week, and yet it's ha such a great affect on me. Friday I start heavier training. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time.
     
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  6. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    Weekend

    This weekend was amazing. Truely amazing. Master and I decided to go with some light training. He ended up taking me anally, we blew through a half box of condoms, and I enjoyed every minute of it. The first night he roughed me up, commanding me, using my body. I enjoyed it so much I got so hyper-happy afterward. He was able to satisfy and overpass my submissive cravings. then next morning I was woken up to him taking my pants off and using me, and even though it was dry at first (I was asleep still, what do you expect?) I loved every minute of it.
    I'm so happy I decided to go back out with him. He's able to satisfy me in so many ways, I don't know what I'd do without him <3
     
  7. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    Hey guys, just updating on how things are going, since I haven't been on here much ^^;;

    Well, for the past couple weeks Master wasn't doing any puppy play with me. I was getting annoyed, but I didn't say anything since I normally let him decide what we're gonna do. Well, I ended up mentioning it and found out he was testing me to see how long I could go without it. He's normally testing me when I don't know it to see my limits/boundaries. Finally, the puppy play is back and it was loads of fun. I got to eat out of my dog bowl again, and he let me walk on all fours (normally I have to use two feet) and he even played a bit of fetch with me. Even though he kept throwing my toy under the table so I had to stretch and reach to get it, it was uber fun. This week we're going to start involving a bit more bondage, and after next week I get to spend a whole week with him! I'm uber excited to get deeper into the lifestyle with him.
    So, what do you guys think? Did I pick a winner or what? Oh, and I wanna talk to Master about taking pictures. Anyone interested to see pictures?
     
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  8. I always love pictures!

    I'm glad things are going so well for you!!!
     
  9. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    ^^ Thanks ML
     
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  10. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    Well, we have plan's for Saturday night. He's gonna lock me in place while he goes to work. Of course, I'm the idiot that suggested this. While I'm excited about it, he then broke the news that in order for me to not have to go to the bathroom, I'm getting an enema. Never had one, didn't even know what one was until a couple months ago. It kinda makes me squirm with uncomfort just thinking about it actually. So, who here has gotten/given the enema?
     
  11. I've gotten them, but, only for medical reasons. I had to have surgery that required it...

    Never had one as any part of play tho. Could be interesting im sure. There's nothing "bad" about them, and if you like anal, you may actually enjoy the sensation. ;)
     
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  12. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    Punishment

    So, I disobeyed. A lot. And I ended up telling Master. Why I told him, I'm still wondering myself. But so I go to school and I was texting him and found out he decided my disobedience was to be punished. So I said, "while while I'm being punished, I also did...." and named a few other thing I disobeyed with. Well, I then started getting scared and soon was going into panic. I had to leave class before I broke down into a emotional wreck and broke down into tears behind the wheel about halfway to his house. Then I ended up breaking into tears again as I was getting closer to his house, then again when I was at his house. Then he came outside and we walked inside, he bound me and hit me, 10 times each ass cheek with a spatula wrapped in sandpaper. First hit I was like 'that didn't hurt', second hit wasn't bad either. The third hit started the buildup, by the fifth hit I lost count and was crying, and by the time he switched ass cheeks I was sobbing. Of course, my mind is trying to block it out by reminding my that I'm laying face down in my own drool and tears, but somehow the distraction really wasn't working -sarcasm- So, then he poured a good amount of hot wax on my lower back/ass, which wasn't that bad. Actually, I kinda enjoyed that part. And then when I thought it was over, one last hit fully across my ass with his belt made my legs give out (I was on my knees and on my face, so I didn't go far) and had me sobbing near hysterics. Good news is that I'm feeling much better now, since it was a great emotional release and I've pretty much recovered and blocked the experience almost completely.
     
  13. Im curious as to what you had disobeyed him on?
     
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  14. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    I wasn't allowed to talk to my ex, but I wanted to ask her a small thing so I thought it would slide
    Umm, I was skipping college classes
    and I was skipping a lot of homework too
    My Master had already pinned the college stuff as punishable, so I was directly disobeying him when I just skipped classes and work without asking permission to first. Yeah I know, the whole "why'd you do it". Well, I wasn't planning on tell him I did it when I did it.......then I kinda told him -is stupid-
     
  15. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    Updates

    So, lots of stuff been going on, as some of you may know already, and I decided its time to update this damnedable thread. I'm moving in with master next week officially, plus signing the marriage papers (yay!) and getting my address changed yada yada all that good stuffs. We've been doing a bit of wax play, as I'm sure some of you have seen the pictures. Bondage is starting to pick up. Actually, this morning he tied me down and duct taped my vibrator into me. First time he used duct tape on me actually. he also duct taped a, sock, I think into my mouth as a gag. Don't worry, it was clean, I could smell the fabric softener I used :D We're getting my crate on Friday when his paycheck clears. Umm....what else? Well, a lot of stuff! I'm getting used to walking on all fours during puppy play, and getting quicker at it too. Plus I can leap onto the bed and land on all fours instead of landing on my knees. Tell ya, walking on all fours takes a hella training. No that his work schedule is switching to days, he'll have more time and energy to get more involved in the lifestyle.
    The biggest thing that changed is my freedom. Yeah, I kinda gave it to him fully ^^;;;; I have no car, no job, no school, and basically I rely fully on Master. Of course, the uber chore list is something I need to get used to, but hey, compared to what Master's doing for me, its a small price to pay. And plus I can't stand the mess. I'll update when something else big happens (or when I remember again ^^;;;;; )
     
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