Hi! I'm writing a story and need help...

Aibo

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1: Contact trough one of the kink organisations, always the best way. Provides a safe situation for people to meet. Unless your main character is in a very rural area, but even there there's sometime contacts to make. Im from a rural area, we used to have a small restaurant here for those of a slightly different inclination. Since there's fewer people it served both gay, BDSM and trannies at the same time.

2: Sometime a few confuse BDSM with domestic violence, that's a major one for me.

3: The ending that all described had been all cyber chatting on the Internet and not real at all.

Spoiler: Actually I am going to use that ending since I got some crappy reviews on my story on another forum so that's going to be my revenge. But I had planned it from the start, and that what they have criticized - they don't know why the storyline is awkward. Being a cyber chat is the reason for it. :)

4: My first time at a BDSM event were a small one, there used to be a restaurant for all kind of kinks including the SM inclined. There it could be munches and just a get together for people sitting at a table to make smalltalk. I met some really unusual ones there, a gay submissive man who got stinking drunk, a kink couple where both were blind!
Even so, and with the very relaxed atmosphere, I were severely stressed out the first time I visited, partially since I back then had quite a problem with gay men. (But the experience from that place made me more easygoing, and nowadays I am quite ok, though a bit of tension remain even today.)

5: Yes my inclination go as way back as I can remember, as a child I did always want to explore dark rooms and even tubes in the ground. Stories involving pirates and dungeons did interest me, as soon as we were left to play alone I invited others to games of cops and robbers or cowboys and indians. Then some year later I did a complete turnaround, a bit worried about the strange feelings that started to stir inside me. Yes it were still years left to puberty, even so I felt my interest for those games were to strong, and I wanted and attempted to hide my excitement.
 
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MeatballSub

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My story

I'm really new to this, but I love it and thought my story would interest you.

I was fifteen when I had sex for the first time, and it hurt like hell. I think maybe I rushed into it, but it never got good. I kept hoping that next time would be better but it just got worse. This ruined a lot for good relationships for me and I got really depressed. I kept wondering what was wrong with me and started hating myself. My self esteem disappeared and my whole life turned to shit. I tried to push myself in the direction I want, I want to become an actor, so I enrolled in an acting school this fall, but because I didn't think I was worth a shit, it was very difficult.
I think I've always been into bdsm, 'cause I remember one of my first fantasies was to be tied up, spanked and humiliated. But it always made me feel like a horrible person every time i jerked off to things like that(I'm a girl, btw). But not two weeks ago I sort of came out as a sub to my boyfriend of almost a year, and it turnes out he is a Dom, but we've both been to embarrassed about it to tell each other. It sounds unrealistic, but it is all true. And now as we've started to play with pain and bondage all of my problems, my low self esteem, my depression, the painful sex, it's all completely gone, after almost seven years! I am more happy now than I've ever been in my life because I've finally started to do what I really want to do. Joseph Campbell said "Follow your bliss" and that applies to sexuality as well as everything else in life.

Good luck with your book, I hope this may be of help(did for me, man, I really needed to get this out)
 
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1. A city of any significant size in going to have an alternate subculture which will have their own places to meet. Even so, I agree with QuirkyDoll, we tend to attract each other.

2. The idea that all bondage is rooted in abuse is a big stereotype. I care more for my kinky play partners than I have for many of my vanilla partners. I was not abused and none of my subs have been abused.

3. I think an ending where the scene spirals out of control, the Dom is really a serial killer or something along those lines, where the kink is means to damage or kill someone. Anything that took the scene out of bounds of safe, consensual and sane I would find offensive and stereotypical.

4. I have always had these tendencies. My earliest remembered fantasies involved escape from a Dom and taking over the Dom role in the fantasy. However, I took me quite a while to admit that need and accept it for myself.

5. I’m not sure that abuse would be a valid reason for someone’s submissive or domineering nature. Most of my submissive partners have been very strong, professional, type A individuals. Only one had confidence and self-image and she seemed to draw strength and confidence from our sessions together. I’m not convinced that BDSM practitioners are made up of the previously abused any more or less than vanilla society. I CAN say that we are more willing to discuss the situation more openly that “polite” society and so I guess that may make it seem like we are made up of a disproportionally large number of abuse survivors.
 
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