Hi! I'm writing a story and need help...

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by quixotic689, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. quixotic689

    quixotic689 New Member

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    Hey everyone! I'm new to this site but have looked around before. I'm not really a member of the BDSM community, but I've been fascinated by it for several years now, so much so that I've decided to write a novel about a young woman who is slowly coming to terms with her submissive desires.

    (Yeah, totally not autobiographical at all. :D)

    Anyway, I want to make this story as realistic as possible. My MC wants a 24/7 D/s relationship. Most of my knowledge on this subject comes from a fan fiction story I read a few years ago from someone in the Lifestyle. I was just wondering if anyone had any stories they wanted to share or answers to these questions:

    1. How would she go about finding people in her area that were also into BDSM?
    2. What sort of assumptions do people have about the lifestyle that really annoy you?
    3. What sort of story/ending would offend you?
    4. How did you feel when you first started getting involved with BDSM?
    5. Did you always know you had these feelings? If not, how did you discover them?

    Any help you could give me would be greatly appreciated! I'm going to check out the stories section of this site, too, but I figured I would see if anyone had any specific stories or advice for me.


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    Answers to questions, yes.. LOL....

    1) Internet is the best way, or going to Las Vegas to an expo and networking from there.

    2) The assumption that its about abuse and degrading others for a sadistic reason that is unhealthy to those involved.

    3) There can never be an ending.. In this world, the limits are the only ones we place on ourselves!

    4) Excited, overstimulated, it festered in my mind non stop! I could not get enough! I knew I would never return to the world of vanilla... Ever! I would rather be alone then go back!

    5) Not always.. then the first time a little red head in school asked me to tie her up.. that was it.. I orgasmed instantly without touch or stimulus.. I knew from there!
  3. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    OP- Are you from Nano?
    E2D - Charlie Brown?

    1. What Dark said. Look in the FAQ here, if you want, on the last or second last page there's a list of sites for that, if you want real ones, or just an idea what they're like.
    2. Again what he said, but I'd also add forgetting safe words, etc. If it's a short, it doesn't really matter, but if it's a longer story, include that sort of thing. Oh, and don't just make it pain play and blind folds. Include humiliation. Actually, that's another place the FAQ might help, there's a list of the '4 aspects' or something to that effect.
    3. 'And so they realized that their perversions were wicked and terrible and moved on, vowing never to play that way again'
    4. Very excited, but we eased into it fairly slowly. I was already in a vanilla relationship with my master, so.. but once we talked about it, we were quite soon quite... enraptured.
    5. There were clues, but (I'm quite young) it wasn't until I was more sexually active (although I was still a virgin when we started this sort of play, but not exactly innocent) that I knew more what I wanted, or why.

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    Charlie Brown? LOL!
  5. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    He had a crush on the little red-headed girl

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    Ha ha ha ha.. Ahhh.. I do recall that.. "sigh"! This little red-headed girl sure put me on track!
  7. quixotic689

    quixotic689 New Member

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    Haha. Yes, I'm doing NaNo. I've finished one novel and was trying to think of something to write for 50k weekend, and this story came to me. I figured I would use the week beforehand to try to figure out more details to include. :)

    Thanks for your answers!

    Also, I just thought of another question. I usually write characters who have some sort of tramatic backstory (generally some sort of abuse). Should I avoid that for this story? Would it make it sound like I was trying to provide an excuse for her submisive behavior? Would that upset you if you read a story like that?

    I'm just a shy/insecure person myself, so I don't usually write characters who are too confident. Too hard for me to relate to. :D But I can make an exception with this story if people think that would make it worse.

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    That is a good question.. I have never really enjoyed hearing that story about abuse being reason, as it seems to be more common then what one may think. I never fell into that category, so relating to characters in story line would be difficult. Though there may be many that can relate to that better!
  9. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    I don't think so, although it's surprisingly common. Also, I think I might have referred you to this forum. I'm Relocation, there.
  10. QuirkyDoll

    QuirkyDoll New Member

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    not sure if i'm any help

    I'm a relatively new female sub so anything I answer will be different than a more experienced perspective but i figured it couldn't hurt to jump in.

    1. Personally, I tend to attract them. I'm also around a large amount of alt. people and I meet the majority of them at Renaissance Faires. The last Faire I was at, another girl and I flogged each other for booze and everyone was consenting and content. We later went on to play like five year olds on the giant wooden see-saw someone had brought and ogle the gypsies bellydancing half naked on the platform they had built. I'm of the opinion that we tend to unknowingly congregate together. I've never had a problem with meeting them, but if I did, I would probably turn to the internet and very shyly to the "real world".

    2. That BDSM means I've been abused or need therapy. The same applies when I tell them I LARP or I do whipping exhibitions at RenFaires. That I always engage in "unsafe sexual practices". That I'm a whore or slut or perverted. That I like being hit all the time. That I masturbate to things like "two girls and a cup".

    3. I can't really see an ending that would offend me if it was well written and had a relatively easy-to-follow chain of events leading up to that decision. If the main character decided out of the blue that they wanted to go 24/7, I would take an issue with that. If they had some kind of separation anxiety or had some other emotional reasoning to back them up, I would be totally happy with it. Same goes for if they decided to give up the "lifestyle", though that would take more to convince me.

    4. Delighted. Overwhelmed. Accepted. Nervous. Shy. The same way I felt when I came out as bisexual, that mixture of "who can I tell" and "I feel so accepted". Elated when I meet like minded people. Guarded around my heavily religious friends and their family/significant others.

    5. I always knew I had these feelings. I always enjoyed tying up my dolls more than dressing them up. I always enjoyed being the tied up "princess in the tower" rather than the "bold adventurer". The other kids would look at me funny when I unknowingly managed to incorporate bondage into our games, tying up the "hostage", hiding in cupboards I could barely fit in, daring my friends to do something humiliating in "truth or dare". I just wasn't able to put a name to it until much later, skulking around on the internet, getting many viruses on my computer, reading the erotica, and generally learning more.

    There are my metaphorical "two cents" for whatever you value them as.
  11. Aibo

    Aibo Member

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    1: Contact trough one of the kink organisations, always the best way. Provides a safe situation for people to meet. Unless your main character is in a very rural area, but even there there's sometime contacts to make. Im from a rural area, we used to have a small restaurant here for those of a slightly different inclination. Since there's fewer people it served both gay, BDSM and trannies at the same time.

    2: Sometime a few confuse BDSM with domestic violence, that's a major one for me.

    3: The ending that all described had been all cyber chatting on the Internet and not real at all.

    Spoiler: Actually I am going to use that ending since I got some crappy reviews on my story on another forum so that's going to be my revenge. But I had planned it from the start, and that what they have criticized - they don't know why the storyline is awkward. Being a cyber chat is the reason for it. :)

    4: My first time at a BDSM event were a small one, there used to be a restaurant for all kind of kinks including the SM inclined. There it could be munches and just a get together for people sitting at a table to make smalltalk. I met some really unusual ones there, a gay submissive man who got stinking drunk, a kink couple where both were blind!
    Even so, and with the very relaxed atmosphere, I were severely stressed out the first time I visited, partially since I back then had quite a problem with gay men. (But the experience from that place made me more easygoing, and nowadays I am quite ok, though a bit of tension remain even today.)

    5: Yes my inclination go as way back as I can remember, as a child I did always want to explore dark rooms and even tubes in the ground. Stories involving pirates and dungeons did interest me, as soon as we were left to play alone I invited others to games of cops and robbers or cowboys and indians. Then some year later I did a complete turnaround, a bit worried about the strange feelings that started to stir inside me. Yes it were still years left to puberty, even so I felt my interest for those games were to strong, and I wanted and attempted to hide my excitement.
  12. MeatballSub

    MeatballSub New Member

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    My story

    I'm really new to this, but I love it and thought my story would interest you.

    I was fifteen when I had sex for the first time, and it hurt like hell. I think maybe I rushed into it, but it never got good. I kept hoping that next time would be better but it just got worse. This ruined a lot for good relationships for me and I got really depressed. I kept wondering what was wrong with me and started hating myself. My self esteem disappeared and my whole life turned to shit. I tried to push myself in the direction I want, I want to become an actor, so I enrolled in an acting school this fall, but because I didn't think I was worth a shit, it was very difficult.
    I think I've always been into bdsm, 'cause I remember one of my first fantasies was to be tied up, spanked and humiliated. But it always made me feel like a horrible person every time i jerked off to things like that(I'm a girl, btw). But not two weeks ago I sort of came out as a sub to my boyfriend of almost a year, and it turnes out he is a Dom, but we've both been to embarrassed about it to tell each other. It sounds unrealistic, but it is all true. And now as we've started to play with pain and bondage all of my problems, my low self esteem, my depression, the painful sex, it's all completely gone, after almost seven years! I am more happy now than I've ever been in my life because I've finally started to do what I really want to do. Joseph Campbell said "Follow your bliss" and that applies to sexuality as well as everything else in life.

    Good luck with your book, I hope this may be of help(did for me, man, I really needed to get this out)
  13. gailhopper

    gailhopper New Member

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    so interesting, please continue !!
  14. RopeRanger

    RopeRanger Member

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    1. A city of any significant size in going to have an alternate subculture which will have their own places to meet. Even so, I agree with QuirkyDoll, we tend to attract each other.

    2. The idea that all bondage is rooted in abuse is a big stereotype. I care more for my kinky play partners than I have for many of my vanilla partners. I was not abused and none of my subs have been abused.

    3. I think an ending where the scene spirals out of control, the Dom is really a serial killer or something along those lines, where the kink is means to damage or kill someone. Anything that took the scene out of bounds of safe, consensual and sane I would find offensive and stereotypical.

    4. I have always had these tendencies. My earliest remembered fantasies involved escape from a Dom and taking over the Dom role in the fantasy. However, I took me quite a while to admit that need and accept it for myself.

    5. I’m not sure that abuse would be a valid reason for someone’s submissive or domineering nature. Most of my submissive partners have been very strong, professional, type A individuals. Only one had confidence and self-image and she seemed to draw strength and confidence from our sessions together. I’m not convinced that BDSM practitioners are made up of the previously abused any more or less than vanilla society. I CAN say that we are more willing to discuss the situation more openly that “polite” society and so I guess that may make it seem like we are made up of a disproportionally large number of abuse survivors.
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2011

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