Friendly Doms

L8NightQ · Feb 26, 2010

9onthedime said:
I was just curious if Doms ever go the other way ie. smiling at the subs, speaking in an ecouraging voice while still giving out orders and punishments.

I'm not sure this is even possible, except at the doctors office. I would describe myself as a loving dominant, and while I've used the proverbial "Good Girl" to one that does my bidding, the punishment or some other form of coercion was the encouraging factor. Feeling controlled, dominated, or forced is almost always a part of the equation. And when I smile, I smile at their predicament.

I think ReallyGreen said it best in with "Most Doms are not evil sadistic sociopaths. They just roleplay one"

Nowadays you have to watch for the flip side.... in that there are lots of sadistic sociopaths that present themselves as Doms to poor unwitting victims, some of whom don't fair so well with the experience.
I find myself warning friends and newbies about letting themselves be tied up by someone they don't know. Someone who's been beating off to Brutal Sex videos on the internet, and hasn't learned and doesn't care about the difference between "hurt" and "harm".

I don't personally know any other straight Doms, but I do know a gay one, and as Sebastian implied, the outward persona seems different with gay Doms, and a lot more obvious.
I always thought I hid my predilection pretty well. Vanilla women don't sense it, but submissive women seem to know.

Over time, I've found that we tend to know our own.

sebastian · Feb 26, 2010

One of the things I'm starting to realize is that when two men do d/s play together, one possible option is a sort of intensification of the masculinity, where the dom is expected to be hypermasculine, very aggressive, physically and verbally harsh, and so on, and the sub is expected to be tough and endure a lot of pain. That's not the only way it can go, but it's certainly something I find appealing.

Tumbl3 · Mar 23, 2010

I personally consider myself a caring dom (though I guess I'd be a "mommy-dom"), but when I need/want to I can become cold. Randomly, though, it makes me sad of how few women doms are out there (or if there are more I haven't heard of them).

Hopehavoc · Mar 23, 2010

I don't think I'm capable of BEING a cold stern stereotypical type Domme. For me it's always "that's my good little girl/bitch/slut/(insert subs preferred title here)" And I always like to say "please" and "thank you". Although...I have heard that I'm a lot bossier than I realize so...idk. But, I at least TRY to be nice about it.

Dom-me · Mar 24, 2010

My Angel is a very caring and loving Domme and I love every moment I get with her. I've previously had the more cold Domme type but after meeting my Angel I could never go that way again. She makes me feel valued and appreciated as a person which just makes me want to serve and please more and more. I too cringe now when I see or hear about the so-called 'stereotypical' Dom/mes and wish more people were educated about what this lifeste really is like.

principessa · Mar 28, 2010

i think that this aspect of coldness/warmness depends on the slave 2 ...if he is one that fully understands u then there is no need for you to be rude

brattychick · Mar 29, 2010

As a domme, I think I'm very easy going, stern but easy going. I love to laugh. I won't call it a "switch" but submissives are people too! If you don't listen to my orders, you're just asking for all hell to break lose

wannabeyours · Mar 30, 2010

As a very new Domme, still learning the art of domination.. I have to say i absolutely adore my Sub and am not at all comfortable with being cold or harsh with him. However having said that, we have discussed his needs and desires as a Sub and i am learning that giving him what he desires makes him want to please me even more... I am often so surprised that what we share is so "UNTYPICAL" if there is such a word lol... So don't base your relationships on what is perceived as "typical" there are no set rules (besides safety).

Friendly Doms

L8NightQ

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sebastian

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Tumbl3

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Hopehavoc

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Dom-me

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principessa

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brattychick

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wannabeyours

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