Friendly Doms

9onthedime

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I don't know much about the BDSM scene but I noticed that most of time Dom's are depicted/described as having this real cold expression, barking orders at their subs, and generally acting as if they resent the sub. I was just curious if Doms ever go the other way ie. smiling at the subs, speaking in an ecouraging voice while still giving out orders and punishments.

Thank you!!
 
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I'm so glad you asked this. SO many people assume all Doms are just cold and distant, and while yes, there are a lot of pretty harsh Doms out there (at least from my limited experience), there are some "tender" Doms out there as well. I myself couldn't handle having another "typical" Dom. I would break down and feel like worthless shit again . . . and nobody wants that, least of all a real/good/proper Dominant. The Doms I find myself far more attracted to are caring, loving, and sensitive . . . all while Dominating their bottom (ie, you're such a good little girl, etc). Perhaps someone else could better explain the latter piece of my description, but I just wanted to make sure you knew there definitely ARE "friendly" Doms out there :) Look up the term "Daddy Dom". . . those are my kinds of Doms :)
 
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Yes, my master has a very caring nature too :)

It's very important for a dom to respect their sub, and care for them. My master enourages me to try new things all the time, often physically painful things, and because I am still not very good with pain, I will get scared, sometimes breaking down in tears :( But he will be gentle, and reassuring, wanting me to succeed not just to please him, but to prove to myself that I am capable of enduring whatever new painful practice he has chosen.

We do a lot of costume role play too, and the majority of his 'characters' are pretty nasty, harsh, unforgiving. He is aggressive, both physically and verbally, but takes care to remain self aware throughout, to make sure nothing goes wrong. He will occasionally slip out of character momentarily, to ask me if I am okay, and if I drop my safetoy, he stops what he is doing immediately.
 
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kittengrey

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The "cold uncaring" dom is very very stereotypical. Sure, there are doms who are this way, but most doms are very caring and loving towards their subs. The bases of the BDSM relationship is trust and respect, and it goes both ways. Both the dom and sub have to trust each other as well as respect each other's position in the lifestyle.
My Master is also my soon-to-be husband, so of course he is completely caring, and normally we're laughing our asses off together, in or out of the lifestyle.
 
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Innocent facade brought up an excellent point. The really cold, seemingly abuse Doms are stereo typical. Daddy Doms are known for being nurturing and stern but in a more gentle way. That's not to say a Daddy Dom won't paddle your ass as hard as the unfriendly Doms. Daddy Doms are obviously called a such because they are into age play or having a 'little girl.' Personally, this is my favorite kind...being Daddy's little girl is such a joy to me that I almost want to thank my father for never being around, thus creating this need for a Daddy.

When I first got into the lifestyle I fantasized about being beaten and having a very stern Dom but over time I realized I needed a nurturing Dom who was willing to put on His 'angry face' as part of kinky sex. I don't want a Dom that talks down to me unless we are playing or I am really naughty. I don't feel good getting humiliated or degraded. I respond to positive reinforcement. I strive to do well and behave to earn a 'You make Daddy very proud' not just so I can avoid a beating. A good spanking once in a while is a reminder that Daddy is kind because He cares, not because He is weak.

Good luck in your search! The journey is long and can be confusing but it's so worth it.
 
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*happy tears* BlueLagoon, you've made my day :D I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. . . I KNOW I'm not alone, but this is the closest encounter I've had with someone else into Daddys :) Glad to see your beautiful self is back round!

Edit-
Oh and if you happen to run across a Daddy looking for a little girl, send him my way :p
 
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kittengrey

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I had a dream where my father tried to dom me, then tried to have sex with me, and he was literally losing his mind. I fricken woke up so horrified, but I couldn't get myself to wake up fully and had to nudge Master so he could help me wake up the rest of the way.
I wasn't personally into the Daddy Dom style, but after that dream the 'daddy dom' almost disturbs me, no offense guys.
 
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sebastian

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When I'm in normal dom mode, I'm pretty evil--I smile a lot, but not in a good way. My 'beast' has a definite predator element to it. But puppy play brings out a very different side of me. I want to praise my pup, encourage him, and just play with him. I'm not really a dog person, so I don't know why pup play does this. Maybe deep down I feel that being mean to an animal is wrong because the animal can't consent.
 
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