First: hello, then a bit about us, then questions...

Sweetpea and J · Aug 30, 2012

I don't think I'd have it in me to be a total 24/7 kinda sub.
LOL
Too dammed bossy.

Again, these relies are so helpful to the newbies here so thanks for taking the time to reply.

I suspect eventually we will have to sit down and discuss some 'rules' bit that will come in time.
J is worried it will 'burn out' if we go too fast but as I said to him, if it's a need in you and something you enjoy and want then a) it's not likely to burn out and b) we should make the most of it!
Lol

I do like the idea of one night a week/ every two weeks being his total slave sexually?!
Maybe that's a good place to start... I suspect he'll go for that idea!
Ha!

I am still at that slightly embarrassed stage where I have ideas of what I'd like but still get a little shy. Having read other people's posts this seems common.

Silly really tho... It's not like we just met after all.

Roland · Aug 30, 2012

Remember, it will take a long time to grow into this and reach a dynamic that you both enjoy, but the journey to get there will be full of revelations. Enjoy the journey and approach it all with love. Good Luck!

subarama30 · Aug 30, 2012

Like everyone said, there is no rule it has to be 24/7.

I am far too independent and dominant in my everyday life to relinquish control to my partner on a permanent basis but inside the bedroom (or anywhere else in the house come sex times) I am completely submissive. We would never want our kids to notice anything so it's fun messaging each other from different rooms when they are awake or him coming up and whispering something in my ear that has me anticipating like crazy!

I agree that you won't get burn out if it's something that is an integral part of you, that happens more with those who are just dipping their toes in but find they don't really enjoy it enough to continue. Embarrassment is common and that's why I tell everyone to write, write, write it down.

Weight wise, having kids is always going to have some negative impact on your body but my man never even mentions anything, I honestly think he doesn't even notice. That is what I love about him, he just sees me, not the stretch marks or wrinkly belly skin! I'll put on something I think looks awful but when I walk in the room he practically drools so its all good

Yes sir · Aug 30, 2012

My husband/Dom and I are pretty new to this (just over a month) and I have always had issues with my body. I always figured that after I lost weight then I would be more active in bed. The funny thing is I have all but forgotten my issues BECUASE we are more active in bed. Don't let your weight stop you from enjoying this. This has made me so much more confident and has done wonders for my self-esteem. If your husband finds you sexy then listen to him.

Also, as far as the "part-time" bdsm. We have 2 kids and when we are not in the bedroom we are mommy and daddy. We may send eachother dity texts or he may pull my hair when he kisses me in the kitchen. But nothing that anyone would notice. We kinda have a rule that when the bedroom door is closed I am 100% his. He chooses what we do and I obey. Of course if the kids are sick or something then that is put on hold. It is totally doable and actually really makes is quite sexy knowing that I have to wait until the kids are in bed (for at least an hour) before I get to submit.

subarama30 · Aug 30, 2012

@yes, sir - I totally get that. Sometimes I'm counting down the mins till bed time and can feel him watching me with that look. It is SO FREAKING HOT

Sweetpea and J · Aug 30, 2012

Thank you so much for all the help and advice guys..
Its been a lovely welcome.

sebastian · Aug 30, 2012

Sweetpea and J said:
I am still at that slightly embarrassed stage where I have ideas of what I'd like but still get a little shy. Having read other people's posts this seems common.

Silly really tho... It's not like we just met after all.

As I see BDSM, it's about connecting to your genuine sexuality, embracing whatever kinky desires you have, and giving yourself permission to do things most people are afraid to even fantasize about. In that sense, being a slave can be deeply empowering, because you're choosing to be the sexual being you feel inside. There's no need to be ashamed or embarrassed about what turns you on.

Sweetpea and J · Aug 30, 2012

Well, I finally bit the bullet (not the vibrating type) and asked J about maybe trying a slave/master relationship... And he said yes.
Were starting off at maybe one night per week or so cause I feel it will take some getting used to even tho I want it.
We haven't used those terms yet... Well the words sex slave did crop up ;-)
And we still have some boundaries to set/discuss but I'm so pleased.

J is still worried about, as he says it...'over planning it'!
But I'm trying to explain that it's not over planning, it's defining what we will and won't do/try so that no massive mistakes are made.
For example: I don't mind what he calls me, but for some reason the word slag really irkes me... So he needs to know this?

I'd love eventually to have a little collar to wear when we do this... So I feel really owned...
If also love to define a name for each other... I know several of you use 'sir'

Do you find these terms come with time/naturally?
Or do you decide on them?

Yes sir · Aug 30, 2012

The first couple times we "played" felt a bit weird olny because my husband, by nature, is very kind and loving and to have him demand things took a bit to get used to. It was so hot though that I really didn't mind. Calling him Sir seemed to come pretty naturally. I even accidentally said it infront of my father-in-law. Oops. But he had no idea. Good luck and just remember that communication and honesty are key to making this work (in my opinion).

sebastian · Aug 31, 2012

For me, using submissive titles for my boys comes incredibly naturally. I occasionally have to stop myself from calling someone a 'boy' in general conversation. Once I screwed up and called my father that--fortunately he didn't notice.

First: hello, then a bit about us, then questions...

Sweetpea and J

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Roland

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subarama30

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Yes sir

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subarama30

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Sweetpea and J

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sebastian

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Sweetpea and J

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Yes sir

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sebastian

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