Hi everyone, New to the site (as my post indicator will indicate) and new to bdsm. I say new but I guess the 'new' bit relates to actually doing it. I think if I am honest then I have always had 'leanings' towards this type of sexual play and have just not been brave enough to admit it. Many reasons for this, but the most important is my total lack of self worth. I have little to no self esteem and after having my two kids my body shape became a big issue. For several years myself and J had limited to no sex, but recently I have found my mojo and we have started on this incredible journey together. J is the dominant role and I am happy with that. So, questions... How have you guys gotten over the hang-ups? What is the feeling towards the larger bdsm indulger? Best ways to move our new relationship forward in a slow yet productive way? Good things for newbies to try? I realise you may have questions for me... Thats fine... Ask away. I am looking forward to finding all about bdsm and sharing ideas etc. Thanks. ETA:- reading this back I realise it sounds very rushed so i'll elaborate. I'm on my laptop now as opposed to my Iphone so I can (technically) type better. J and I have been together 10 years now (married for 9 of those) and have until this point been having vanilla (?) sex. I have always had darker desires and our sex has always been 'rougher' but nothing too extreme. Thus far we have now delved into a more BDSM relationship and have tried bondage, spanking, ball gags and latex. I suspect we have much further to go on this journey but still I find I get a little upset by my body etc. I would for example love to watch porn with J but I worry because I have this idea that all the women are thin, perky and hotties! LOL I am turned on by bondage, latex and rubber etc... being whipped and spanked and i guess there will be other things we discover that we both enjoy. My questions still stand if anyone has any advice but also i guess I just want to know that these doubts are normal and can be overcome?