Defending Female Submission, how did I do?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Smallest, Oct 14, 2012.

  1. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    A thing happened on facebook, and I want to know whether I handled it okay.

    A lady posted this status on facebook:

    Poster: Everywhere I look on the Internet I see pictures of submissive women. I'm sorry but if someone tried to make me submit, I would kick him in the balls.

    She is involved in publishing erotica, so I was confused to see her saying this, seeing as submissive or not, I expect her to be sex-positive. Anyway, she revised:

    Poster: I think some women are subs but the world is crazy for it now bc of one book [50 Shades]. Most of us can't live that way bc we don't want it and never will

    So I'm not too angry at her. Everyone hates 50 Shades. But then these comments happened:

    Lady 1: I hate all this submissiveness crap. I'm with you, Em. I would kick them in the balls too
    Man 1: No submissive woman is as attractive as an agressive woman - my opinion.
    Lady 2: Have to say, if someone snarled along the lines of 'get on your knees at suck it, b****, I'd be far more inclined to laugh, accidentally knee them and croon 'you didnt say please' as I walked out the door.
    Lady 3: AGREE!! I see it everywhere. I cannot write the submissive woman. I can write the strong kick your teeth in woman. I can write the street smart woman. I can write the calm, cool, I can handle whatever the world throws at me woman. I can write the world weary independent woman. And all my heroes are men who can pull the more vulnerable side out of these women. The women cry, get hurt, and ingest lots of brownies and booze, but they never submit. They're just too strong. If someone tried to put a dog collar on them, they'd attack like Cujo. HHHHHMMMM......I feel a blog post coming on.
    Lady 4: Forget the balls...punch them in the throat, if they keep moving, heel palm to the solar plexus...either one will interrupt breathing. Take no shit, ever.

    Anyway, I had to respond. This is where I'm wondering whether I'm okay.

    ETA- There were, of course, several comments defending female submission and male dominants as well. But they're not the ones that stick out.
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2012
  2. Khartas

    Khartas New Member

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    sounds good to me!

    i don't understand quite how it is that people can be so close minded as these ladies. i mean, yeah, 50 shades of shit misrepresents us, but why is a book (or rather a pointless waste of trees) such as that being taken SO seriously? anyone with half of an IQ point knows that its bullshit. its not erotic, you idiots, its sexual abuse.
  3. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    I hate that the make such uneducated statements. I mean yes, they piss me off for insulting subs and doms both, but the worst part is that they're not using any actual reasons to back themselves.
  4. Khartas

    Khartas New Member

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    the uneducated and unfounded speak, and WE get the negative label...
    it amazes me....
    the incompetent get power while those with a thought and a word against it get blacklisted. i hate humanity some days....
  5. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    The commenter who was talking about writing a blog post contacted me apologizing for being rash, and has changed some of her opinion (if she writes the blog post, it will be on the horrors of 50 Shades' existence). So that's at least a positive from this. As I said in that response, people should think before they speak.
  6. Khartas

    Khartas New Member

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    this makes me laugh. it seems nobody thinks these days.

    i am glad she came 'round at least
  7. Knots

    Knots Member

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    Is infuriating.
  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    I think you did a reasonably good job responding. About the only thing I might have added is that being submissive is a feminist choice--a submissive woman chooses to be submissive because she's in charge of her sexuality.
  9. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    Yes, some others made that point and I meant to, but my hands just flew off the keyboard to get that written fast.
  10. SubmissiveGirl16

    SubmissiveGirl16 New Member

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    What's funny with their opinion is that they probably never experienced any kind of submission in their sexuality. They are judging something that they know nothing about. I would be so curious to see their opinion if they try it one day.

    It is a shame that people keep their close minds with such hypocrisy: we all have fetishes or fantasies. What do you think they love? They have their own secrets, that's for sure.
  11. Shepherd1

    Shepherd1 New Member

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    I just came across this older thread, and felt it important to comment for some of the newer people experiencing BDSM as I am. There is more to a submissive woman than just the outer interpretation. What I mean is there's more to it than what someone front the outside can fathom. I have learned a great deal in a very short time about the mental aspect of the Dom/sub relationship. I've always been interested and have seen it from a spectators point of view, but until I engaged in the actual lifestyle with a willing partner; I had no idea of the depth that comes with it. My sub and I talk a lot. Some of that comes from advice (either directly or from posts/threads/articles I've read), and some comes from the simple fact that her and I are very much in sync and both very mentally driven as well as sexually. Lately I've learned about the struggles that go on inside her head about submitting. About the demons she wrestles with to grasp what's happening (as she puts it), and the torment she went through that lead her to fully give herself to me and trusting my dominance and care for her. That I would push her and challenge her limits. This is in essence a total mind-fuck. She wants nothing more than to belong to me (owned), but there's a mental block that restricted her from completely trusting. I had to earn that by creating an atmosphere of said trust. Something that a true Dom (in my opinion) should never take lightly. She has placed her trust, and thusly, her body in my care. To do as I WILL!!! It's a freeing moment for her. A peace for her heart to know that I will do all these things, but not to the point of harming (abuse) her. Outsiders question what they don't know because it scares them. They make rash decision based on unfactually based emotion. It's sad that they can't free themselves to the beauty of this kind of relationship. It's brought more peace and beauty to my life than I've ever experienced... and we are just getting started. Lol.

    And yes... My sub is a very strong woman that is independant and driven professionally. I imagine this is the case of most subs. The choice they make is of free will. Otherwise (as already stated) it would be considered rape, abuse, and false imprisonment. FYI (just for anyone doubting about my sub) she is getting her masters degree in business and psychology and wants to study/research and someday publish books on consensual and non-consensual sexuality. I only write that for anyone who could still doubt the integrity of what I say about her. She is far from weak.
  12. darknova42

    darknova42 Member

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    Actually, I figure its likely the opposite in some cases. A few of those commentors could very well have in the past submitted sexually and just never consciously acknowledged it as submissive behavior.

    I mean, a majority of common sexual positions themselves more easily allow for male dominance rather than the other way around. Missionary and variations on doggy style as opposed to cowgirl or reverse cowgirl.

    Even if its just women who like to be "man handled" or held down and fucked.
  13. blekker

    blekker New Member

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    I am open minded, there are time when you can submit people and time where you can be submissive. It is also about ego. We should not be egocentric. we are just made of flesh and bones. Sex is not a gender battle. It is just about fun.

    Feminism hurt a lot the male female relationship i think.
  14. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Blekker: If asking to be treated as an equal by men hurts your relationship, it wasn't a very good relationship.
  15. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    Agree Sebby. I have no idea how you figure that, Blekker (or what the relevance of the rest of that was).

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