Taking a stand against unhealthy female supremacy

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by headslave, Apr 22, 2009.

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  1. headslave

    headslave New Member

    As a submissive man, I've found the fantasy of female supremacy to make for some hot spank material. Just so I'm being clear in terms, I am defining female supremacy as the notion that men are inherently inferior to women and that women need to take a 24/7 total power exchange role in the relationship. Furthermore, the practice of female supremacy as suggested on sites such as www.mystressworld.com include the practice of having the man live in the basement, sign over every paycheck, participate in regular cuckoldry, etc.

    I never viewed it as anything more than spank material but apparently there are some women out there who really claim to practice it. My Mistress was told that "scholarships were available" to join Mystressworld's "Domme Corp" of women who, once they completed their education with Mystressworld, would be ready to take on male slaves. Presumably, the instruction offered would be centered around the version of female supremacy described above. It's not hard to see if we follow the money that these women are financially preying on men who have little self-esteem and are very naive in their perception of what S&M is. The take them, convince them that a 24/7 TPE is the only "real" form of BDSM and that anyone who just wants to explore submissive fantasies are "pigmen" who are not engaging in "real" S&M.

    Both my Mistress and I find this very objectionable and unhealthy. More to the point, she has begun receiving male clients who have been subjected to this form of unhealthy kink, and is having to teach them a more health way to explore their submissive fantasies. Towards that end, Mistress Roulette is calling out these so called female supremacists for the frauds that they really are. You can read the blog where she does on her website.
     
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  2. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    so while you engage in a generalized BDSM relationship as many do to spice up their relationship, your condemning the practice of a 24/7 D/s where the male is the slave? I'd be very interested to hear your views if the roles were reversed.... :rolleyes:

    Bare in mind that it takes all types to make the world go around, and their are plenty of men who feel that your description is exactly how they wish to lead their lives. Likewise their are many women who choose to live in the reverse.

    While I see that you have come here looking to rouse people to your cause, perhaps you should have taken the time to read through the posts to realize that their are many here who DO IN FACT support and practice the same lifestyle you are rallying against. There are those here who choose to be treated as dogs, those who revel in torture, those who can only receive satisfaction having their testicles stomped on, those who want to live their lives caged and abused like a wild animal, those who consider themselves full fledged slaves, and those who happily conciede their very lives into the hands of others, as well as those like you whom do it merely to spice things up and have some fun.

    My advice, talk to the people here, get to know them before you try to recruit them, otherwise you look like a blind nazi marching into a synagogue trying to find recruits to help round up the jews for extermination....
     
  3. headslave

    headslave New Member

    I was thinking more of going into forums and starting a discussion. The jews and synagogues doesn't come till phase two.
     
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  4. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    understandable, but your initial post reeks of closed-mindedness in a forum derived towards the acceptance of others kinks, desires and fetishes that for the majority, don't feel comfortable, or can't deal with in general public because of the same bigotry towards what they may embrace.

    If you truly want to tackle this subject as a discussion, you should come about it from a different angle, like opening with how many people here subscribe to such lifestyles instead of condemning it before realizing that your talking to the same people you are condeming. why would they want to discuss it with you when its very clear that you feel they are weak willed and easily manipulated, our are predators that seek to abuse the power by praying on those who are so easily abused?
     
  5. Death

    Death Member

    I think that considering how rare forums like these are, it's better if we try to keep our judgement to ourselves. I am extremely conservative in some areas, such as the importance of saving one's complete virginity for one's true love, and I do NOT like a lot that is said on this forum, but at the same time I am very extreme in other areas and will even have a ritualistic suicide pact with my loved one in the future. I don't want others to start a fight with me so I won't start a fight with them... as long as they don't condone rape, for instance... if we start arguing about right and wrong then we just have another forum where people don't feel able to express their true selves.
     
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  6. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    exactly my point Death. We should all keep an open mind here, and realize that comdemning others for how they live their lives is the last thing anyone needs.
     
  7. nix

    nix Guest

    I personally feel that Headslave was posting with good intentions and wasn't trying to be close-minded, but I feel that he maybe has misinterpreted what he's seen.

    I would have to say I was opposed to what he seems to be opposed to, because what he seems to have a problem with is nasty people preying on the weak. Regardless of gender, I can't support that. But I don't think that's what 24/7 relationships are at all.

    As long as both parties are consenting adults and their actions aren't harming others, I don't see any reason why any type of lifestyle needs to be "rallied" against. I used to come to this forum for wanking material when I first joined up, but after a few posts I realised it was a rare thing in a forum - people were respectful and helpful. So I dropped my initial reasons for joining and since then have tried to contribute constructively.

    For me and my partner, BDSM is a bedroom only fun activity; but I know there are many out there who enjoy 24/7 relationships. And I have nothing against that. I do agree that an abusive relationship shouldn't be encouraged... but I would think that a 24/7 BDSM relationship would be no more likely to be an abusive one than a vanilla relationship.

    I like to think Headslave's heart was in the right place, but that he hadn't done enough research first. Other than our comments about Headslave's closed or open mindedness, I agree with Sparrow and Death's comments too.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2009
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  8. headslave

    headslave New Member

    It's a can of worms, but these things makes for lively discussion. I have to confess I'm a bit surprised by the negative reaction I've gotten in this forum. To me, those close to me, and the friends I make in the BDSM community, it's just common sense. Unhealthy behavior is unhealthy behavior, even in the realm of BDSM. I'm not seeking to deny others the right to engage in whatever behaviors they like, but I don't see why the act of condemning such behavior is so controversial.

    I can understand the knee jerk reaction what is perceived a message of "my kink is OK, but other's aren't." But, outside of this knee jerk reaction, I don't see much substance to the negative reactions I've seen here. Personally, I've never found a single person anywhere who can tell me with a straight face that a 24/7 TPE is a healthy way to live. Not one. And yet everyone wants to look at this through the lens of relativism and say that I can only make that distinction for me.

    I've never been a fan of absolute relativism, so I really don't find that line of logic compelling. Furthermore, like it or not, our society has taken notice of BDSM. It used to regard it entirely as being the domain of perverts. Then feminism declared war against it. But lately it's becoming increasingly accepted. In fact, NBC recently ran a story that kinky couples had more intimacy. I consider this a positive development. If we as a community capitalized on this by really distancing ourselves from some of the more unhealthy behavior, it might further lead to mainstream acceptance.

    But even outside of mainstream acceptance, would we not be better of as a community if we abandoned our relativism and really came together and exchanged notes on what seems to work and what doesn't. I can say that, for me, my kink works. I can also say that I have never meet anyone for whom 24/7 TPE "worked." Furthermore, this style of BDSM incorporates a lot of elements that are widely recognized as unhealthy in vanilla life. If it doesn't work there, how is it going to work here?

    Sure, it's a can of worms, but I don't see that we gain anything by avoiding the discussion by either ignoring it or burying our head in the sands of absolute relativism.
     
  9. headslave

    headslave New Member

    You can accuse me of many things, but not doing my homework ain't one of them. Sorry. I've done plenty of homework. For that matter, this is a topic I've been thinking about for over a decade.

    Homework has been done.
     
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  10. Death

    Death Member

    I certainly agree that the "scholarship" stuff in your first post is disturbing, but are you at the same time saying that genuine Master/slave relationships also are disturbing? It seems like it. While I generally would agree they are, they do not at all have to be, as long as they are under love, or, of course, most preferredly true love. What could possibly be more beautiful than you actually truly owning your beloved? Or for the slave, being owned? That's just the purest form of love available.... ready to be abused under true love at any given time, as has to be for her to be able to fully feel.... and for her Master to be satisfied and happy, as well. Being rid of rights under true love is a blessing like no other, as is it such a completing experience to lovingly abuse one's slave. If under true love, it forms an unbreakable bond that lacks all comparison.
     
  11. headslave

    headslave New Member

    Well BDSM seems a gradual continuum from people who are lead completely "normal" lives outside of the bedroom to those who define their existence within BDSM. This makes it hard to discuss the topic because in trying to condemn abusive relationships, there are other people under the same label who may be perfectly happy. Of course, the same conundrum exists in vanilla life. Typically men and women are supposed to couple up and make each other happy, but then there are those times when they don't.

    That's why I've tried to be so specific in making this post. Although I have a personal prejudice against 24/7 TPE-not because I'm closed-minded, but because it makes no sense to me and I've never seen an positive example- I did not come out against 24/7 TPE. Instead, Mistress Roulette and I are coming out against two specific women for some very specific grievances. They are promoting their form of BDSM as the only "real" form- talk about closed minded. Furthermore, they are attempting to guide the naive male submissive newcomers to their form of BDSM as making them happier in the long term. To take these women at their word, men deserve to accept that they are less than real men because... all men are that way. In penance, they need to hand over their lives, have their self-esteem crushed daily, experience their lover being with other lovers, etc. This is true submission and the path to real happiness according to them.

    We are specifically coming out against these two. Elise Sutton goes so far as to suggest that her supposed education in psychology supports her views. This is preposterous, unhealthy, and is just giving BDSM a bad name.
     
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  12. Death

    Death Member

    I see then... well, the people you are talking about must indeed be repulsive.
     
  13. Flingress

    Flingress Member

    your case seems legit to me too, headslave.
    the mentioned ladies seem to be plain perverse.
    bcs as far as i can see the key to real bdsm is mutual consent.
    when one party gains something at the expense and in spite of the other, no good will come out of that one. that's just abuse. period.
     
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  14. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Huh, my education in psychology tells me the opposite. Oh well, too many crazy people, can't save 'em all.
     
  15. Flingress

    Flingress Member

    authors of those psychology books must be confusing all bdsm with perversion.
    they just look from their vanilla worlds and wrinkle their noses.
    (and i wrinkle mine back at them bcs their lives are so booooriiiinnnggg.)
     
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