sebastian
Active Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
We would discuss about it and he said I should be able to live without expectations. He labelled this as psychological training....
No. It's not psychological training. It's bullshit from a man who doesn't understand what being a sub involves. He has a fantasy of having a sub who only exists when he wants to use the sub. That's completely unrealistic for the vast majority of subs, you included. Either this guy has no real experience maintaining a relationship with a sub or he's had a long string of failed relationships.
Ani, you're a sub. You like the feeling of someone else having real control over you. That's why you're finding it hard to break up with this guy. You're certainly not the first sub to have this problem. Asserting control over your life is difficult for a sub like you, but at this point, I honestly think that's what you need to do.
This guy is not the only dom out there. You're in London, home to one of the largest fetish communities on the planet. I'm aware of a very large and vibrant gay fetish scene, and the straight fetish scene has got to be at least 10x the size of the gay one. I know there are straight kink clubs in London--I've seen ads for them--and I am sure there are social groups, munches, training classes, and other social activities for doms and subs there. You just need to go looking for them. Do a google search for "sm London" or "London munch" or other sm terms. Find a woman's sex supply shop and look at the local bulletin board; talk to the staff there. Look for a fetish club and find out what the dress code is, and then go there and look around. Cruise dating sites looking for ads with sm keywords in them. If you look around enough, you will find other doms, and even if they won't take you on, they will help you make contacts in the community. You'll meet other subs who will give you support and advice, and you'll meet a dom who will help provide emotional reinforcement for leaving this guy. But you've got to do this for yourself. We here on SMplace will gladly provide encouragement, but we can't do the work for you. You can totally do this. You had the brains and the strength of will to find us; there's no reason you can't find people in London as well.
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