Newbie to this lifestyle..

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by DaddysLilGirl, Mar 14, 2011.

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  1. DaddysLilGirl

    DaddysLilGirl New Member

    I have been reading through this forum and it has offered some great advice. sorry if this is a little long, i wanna give a clear background for everyone. I am sorry I have no idea about this lifestyle, but I am eager to learn.

    I met a wonderful man who is my other half. We have so much in common and feel the same way about almost everything. I have NEVER felt to compatible with anyone ever in my life. The whole soul mates thing.. I never believed til now. Lets start with saying he is 30 i am 21. He takes such good care of me, and tends to all my needs and wants. He is genuine and sincere, and a very sweet docile person. I too am very docile, and have a VERY submissive personality in and out of the bedroom. In the bedroom he is very dominant. I enjoy being a slave, being told what to do and testing my boundaries. But have never considered bdsm before him. We have bought me a training collar, but have yet to use it. He is very in tune with me and he says he will teach me slow, as I have yet to experience anything of the sort. He can pleasure me like no one ever has, and I crave more and more each day.

    I want to please him. I want to be the best slave. I crave him to be proud of me, and I want to serve him. Is this all very normal? What would an experienced dom love to see? What are my obligations?
     
  2. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    please.... PLEASE read the FAQ first!!

    First!!

    The first thing!!!
     
  3. Frostig

    Frostig Member

    That made me smile :3 happy for you 2...

    But yes reading the sticky thread is a good start. The links in it explains a lot and has even helped me out. Explains how to start things out, safety, safety words, and ideas to experiment with. If you have any questions after reading please feel free to ask
     
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Silly's right. Start with the FAQ. Then come back here.

    It's important to realize that no two doms are indentical. Rather than seeking to learn what a dom would want, learn what _your_ dom wants. A good dom will tell you whatever he wants to see from you. He may lay down rules that you have to follow, train you to suck his cock in a particular way, or expect you to act a particular way when he does something to you. So pay attention when he tells you he wants a particular thing from you and make sure you do that; you may want to practice it. If he's not clear about his expectations, ask him what he wants in a particular situation; if you're unclear on a rule, ask for clarifications ("sir, you said you want me to dress sexy; does that mean I should wear my thong under my skirt, or would you like me to not wear anything?"). If there's something you think you can do that would please him, suggest it and ask permission ("sir, would you like me to dance for you?"). But once he's made what he wants clear, take it as a rule and obey unless he says otherwise.

    What this means is that you should talk with him regularly when he's not using you. If you're only submissive at set times, talk with him over dinner. If you're submissive all the time, ask for a regular time when the two of you can talk as equals; this will give you a chance to give him feedback, ask questions, offer suggestions about things you want to try, and tell him what's not working. My slave and I go out for dinner once a week, during which we are mostly equals (although he still calls me Sir, and I'm still in charge of what we're going to eat).
     
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