Since I flooded this forum with my opinions, fantasies, etc, i believe I own people here some explanation of where I come from. I am a 23 year old male, who's been plagued with submission related dreams and fantasies since early childhood. along the way, I tried to deal with it in many ways (ignoring it, etc.). It took me some time to realize that even though I consider myself heterosexual on daily basis (even dominant in relationships, and enjoying it), I couldn't let the thought of being a slave of another man go. some time ago I entered a relationship with a male dom, on a part-time basis, so to speak. I am happy with it, as i never thought I could find someone who will satisfy my needs. (As i am not into leather or hardcore, which seems to be the most popular). Our relationship revolves around my constant nudity, servitude, mild forms of physical abuse, (mostly) oral service and (sometimes quite risky) experiments. However, since early December, my Master had to go away for some time, and I think I suffer from withdrawal syndrome. I decided to use the time to get a new perspective on my "condition", the prospects of maintaining double life, maybe find some inspiration. Hence me trying to enliven old and new threads here. i realize not many of You are into gay bdsm, but I still would like to share my thoughts and get some feedback. I am very positively surprised by the standards of this forum, and i would like to be a valid member of this community.