When did you know?

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So, a question for you all - when did you know you were Dom (or sub)? What was the thing that made it clear to you?

In a way, by asking the question I am trying to clarify what I am feeling. Recently I came across this forum, and the reactions of my body are telling me I'm hitting a major sexual nerve... It was reading The Loving Dominant that turned the key, it's a solution to an internal dilemma which kept a certain instinct locked up for a long time.

I was raised in a very loving family, very ethical and slightly hippy, with the clear message that pain or anything away from free will was bad. This seems to have raised some barriers against an inclination which goes back (as far as i can tell) to age 6. In hindsight, the fact that I locked up a girlfriend at a tender age, and the hidden but persistent preference for girls in leather, latex and later handcuffs should have told me it was more than the usual passing interest. Still that instinct stayed carefully suppressed.

But just recently, I find that even thinking about some of the sections in TLD or the idea of a willing, consensual sub is causing, shall we say, elevated heart rates and a noticeable tightness in the nether regions - indeed my entire torso seems to be getting in on the act. And that is very different from my usual reaction to beautiful women, which is more akin to aesthetic appreciation and a distant lust, although my libido has always been quite high.

It seems clear which way the wind is blowing...
 
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Knots

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A relatively short while ago, and entirely my pet's fault (she introduced me, I liked it).

I was 18. Pet discovered much earlier.

I was raised in a very loving family, very ethical and slightly hippy, with the clear message that pain or anything away from free will was bad. This seems to have raised some barriers against an inclination which goes back (as far as i can tell) to age 6. In hindsight, the fact that I locked up a girlfriend at a tender age, and the hidden but persistent preference for girls in leather, latex and later handcuffs should have told me it was more than the usual passing interest. Still that instinct stayed carefully suppressed.

Just a few points which I feel need to be made (not necessarily because you don't realise this, but because people reading may not realise this)...

Regardless of my violent play, I'm still a pacifist, as I dissagree with the idea of the use of violence to settle disputes; it's this distinction which many "hippy" people would probably make. Playing violent games is very different to being an abusive bastard.

Likewise, BDSM play is never forced or against real free will; ultimately, it's a choice to submit.

Finally, though I don't doubt your parents were very ethical, the BDSM community at large has quite a strong ethical core, which should always be celebrated and encouraged.
 
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Finally, though I don't doubt your parents were very ethical, the BDSM community at large has quite a strong ethical core, which should always be celebrated and encouraged.


Reading through the forums and the sticky made that clear, and no disrespect was intended. Its the reason why i decided to post, and it's a shame that the "vanilla family" perspective focusses over-much on the less ethical members.
 
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Knots

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When I found myself on the deserted top-floor of a parking garage, quivering as I walked toward His jeep and my new life. He inspected me as though I were an inanimate object, or an animal. I nervously climbed into His trunk and lay down while He finished His inspection. The whole process took less than twenty minutes, but when it was over I felt totally used, and ready to be His toy. I left there with smeared mascara on my cheeks and a plug in my ass, only to walk across the street to my job. I climbed the stairs to the employee locker room, and as I began to notice the looks I was getting I realized it. I realized I was truly ready for the adventure He offered me, and I had to please Him in order to feel right. I realized I was a submissive.
 
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I knew at an early age that there was something a bit 'off' with me. I always was attracted to older men, dominant in behaviour, the mean looking bastard that most people would want to avoid totally got me hot lol I didn't want someone to be nice to me sexually and knew that wasn't the 'norm'.

It wasn't until I was a lot older I realised what I was really looking for. The Internet is a blessing! And it is only recently I have started to explore this side of myself again.
 
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