Shame, Shame, Shame!

aisling7

New Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

I am not currently engaging in bdsm acts, as I am another female sub with reluctant hubby, but when I fantasize about these things, I am all about it until orgasm. After that, I feel guilty, and I wonder what is wrong with myself. I had a submissive erotic dream when I was 12 (onset of puberty), I engaged in playful acts with a bf when I was 19 (think dirty talk and cheap toys), and I am about to turn 30. IOW, I have known about my orientation (the more I think about it, the more it seems like an orientation), for some time. I am not a leather-clad girl, but I have told my mother who was in an abusive relationship and who wouldn't have understood until recently (she is more open-minded than she used to be). IOW, I am not ashamed of this. I've told my friends; I even mentioned a bf buying me leather in a class discussion, which got a knowing smile from the prof and giggles or bewildered looks from classmates. Fun class! :) Humiliation is part of my fantasies, but the feelings that follow are not the good kind. How does one deal with this? Is this a "normal" check that allows us to get back to work? I am interested in 24/7, but I am serious about my career. Sometimes I wonder if going 24/7 would hamper my intellectual pursuits, if I wouldn't be able to get out of the fog (bottomspace, whatever.)

How do y'all deal with this? How do your subs deal with this?

Woo-Hoo! First post, y'all.

aisling7
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account

sebastian

Active Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

I used to have something a little like this when I was a teen. I would jack off thinking about guys and being intensely engaged in fantasy, but almost the moment I came, the arousal would drop sharply and be replaced with a sense of disgust not exactly at myself but at the fantasy I had been engaged in. In my cases, as I fully integrated my sexuality into my adult personality, it stopped happening. So you may find that as you get more comfortable with bdsm and mature into your sexuality, this sense of shame will become less powerful and less frequent.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account

aisling7

New Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

My first reply was from Sebastian! Thanks! Sometimes, it isn't as strong, but other times it is, usually depending on the "raunchiness" of the fantasy. Glad to know it can go away. When I am in the mood, I want to stay there, as I feel healthy and authentic, which is why 24/7 appeals to me. My fantasies range from 50's housewife and "entertaining" the company, to Puta de Tijuana, to gang bang. For some reason, I get more shame with the last one. Now that I think about it, fantasies that involve my husband (the first two) don't seem to create the same reaction.

I just realized how much that little hand-clapping song fits with my Mexico fantasy!

Shame, shame, shame, I don't wanna go to Mexico no more, more, more.
There's a big fat policeman at the door, door, door.
He will take you by the collar....

Sweet childhood! How much you bless us!
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account

sillylittlepet

Active Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Its funny, there's a whole 'nother thread about whether or not its "normal" to be into BDSM (the answer is yes, just in case you were wondering lol)

I mean, what are you feeling guilty about?

Personally I can sort of relate to this. I have a fetish that I hate hate hate and I hate looking at it and thinking about it but it happens anyways and then I feel guilty as fuck. I think I feel this way because its bizzare and it involves death, which is something I dislike.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account

aisling7

New Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

iValinor, first I will have to get my husband into BDSM. Then, we can try 24/7 ;)

Sado_Dom, tee hee! I prefer my policeman!

sillylittlepet "death," which is something I dislike. lol

"Normal" is in quotations because I realize that we don't all have the same normal. For example, there are people who are neither interested in spanking or getting spanked! To me, that is not normal!:D

The gang bang fantasy causes the most post-orgasm disgust. I am not, as Sebastian said, disgusted with myself, but I do think "You are an intelligent woman, a feminist, a mother, a writer, a student, why would you disrespect yourself like that? Do you think that you could find guys to play this with you that wouldn't lose respect for you?" Then I think, "Why do I need their respect?" And it goes like this for a while until I find work to do or get up and make myself a sandwich.

I also have dangerous fantasies, and I worry sometimes that I will get bored with tamer aspects of bdsm and only want those things. This is silly, when I think that there are a lot of things that I still like, that I haven't tired of. Sounds like we both worry too much! Of course, if it didn't shame us a little, it wouldn't be quite as much fun!
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

I think most people have a fetish or two along the I feel ashamed about lines

I have a fetish about being diapered by my wife and not allowed in the bathrooms. I know this is a common fetish, but I can't help but to feel ashamed about it.

I have told my wife about it and she is willing to do it for me though. That was a very hard convo for me. I didn't want to admit that I wanted it.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Top