What feelings are normal.

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by firesub, Jun 27, 2012.

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  1. firesub

    firesub New Member

    Hi i am kinda new to this. I have had one D/s relationship in the past for a short time and it was easy because it was with some one i already loved and turned into a D/s relationship. I have started a new relationship at the moment purely online. Its going really well, and we have talked for ages before starting so know each other so well. problem is, i am starting to have really strong feelings for my Dom, i know its normal to have some feelings or else why would you submit but this is different. I have never said anything to him. and on the odd occasion formalitys get dropped and we have a laugh and it makes it harder. I have no idea whats going through his head. i would love to know. how a Dom thinks, what does his sub really mean to him.

    Thanks
     
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Asking what a sub means to his dom is sort of like asking what a boyfriend means to his girlfriend. The question is so generic as to be unanswerable. Some doms view their subs as casual playthings, others view them as deeply-loved permanent property. And a dom may love one sub deeply and see another a simply a fun distraction.

    Subs falling in love with doms is not uncommon. Being submissive means making yourself vulnerable. You've lowered your defenses to this man and you've started to trust him at least a little bit. Those are circumstances that make falling in love easier. There's nothing wrong with that, unless you really don't want to be in love.

    The question you're really asking is, does my dom love me back? And the only person who can answer that question is your dom. So tell him that you're beginning to have feelings for him, and ask him if he thinks he might reciprocate those feelings. Then take the conversation from there.
     
  3. firesub

    firesub New Member

    thank you Sebastian. you have hit the nail on the head. and i have decided to end it. it was getting too all over the place.
     
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  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    That's not the reaction I was expecting. Do you not want to be in love?
     
  5. firesub

    firesub New Member

    Not what i was expecting either. After thinking things through i had to make a decision and stick to it no matter how hard. Of course i want to be in love but not with someone who i cant be with.
    Hardest thing i have had to do .
     
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Yes, the distance issue is definitely a challenge. I can understand why you would not want to deal with that.
     
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