new sub, but independent in life

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by redheadinlove, Nov 8, 2012.

  1. redheadinlove

    redheadinlove New Member

    Hi everyone, my fiance and I are experimenting with a d/s relationship. I've always been slightly exposed to it and interested, but I'm definitely still in the very early stages of learning so please feel free to correct me where I am ignorant or misinformed.

    In my life and our relationship I am very independent, strong willed, and sometimes controlling (not in an abusive way with our relationship, just tend to call the shots). I already feel like our new relationship is helpful to us as a 'normal' couple because I have relinquished power to him and gaining more respect for him as my dom, my fiance, my partner in life. My question is is it really possible to have these strong characteristics but still be a sub?

    I could elaborate, but I don't really think it would contribute to helping answer my question. If there's anything I can add to help you help me...just tell me.

    Thanks in advance.
  2. Hi Redhead,
    So if you're in the early stages then I assume you're not doing this 24/7. And even if you decide to extend your lifestyle I don't think 24/7 submissive play is obligatory, or even necessary.

    So the submissive part of your relationship could be kept strictly to the times when you "play".

    In that case I would not see anything incompatible in what you're suggesting, and I would actually suggest that being submissive for a while will be a great time that you can just forget that you need to be in charge all the time and just relax.

    Does that makes sense?

  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    It is very common for men and women who are very strong and confident in their professional life to enjoy being submissive in their private life. Submissiveness is a way to balance out the pressures of being socially dominant.
  4. I'm a VERY headstrong and outgoing and socially dominant- but I LOVE submitting:)
  5. twizziebs

    twizziebs New Member

    I was going to post something exactly like this, but no need to now. Very good input for myself.
  6. YesMistress

    YesMistress New Member

    I am very assertive and even aggressive in daily life. I can bottom to the right person (be the 'receiver' during playtime), but I'm never submissive.

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