Verbal abuse help please

Discussion in 'General fetish discussions' started by Lillith, Sep 28, 2012.

  1. Lillith

    Lillith New Member

    I spent a great deal of time today in Yahoo chat with someone who contacted me for verbal abuse. Only hard limit is no male Dom.

    He is from Egypt. He told me he is proud of his culture. He explained a great deal about it. I have blue eyes. He told me how blue eyes is so hot and special.

    So the topic got into verbal abuse. He told me fantasies that were pretty wild. He then told me how something a girlfriend said humiliated him and it turned him on. It was so mild. It was, 'Is your uncle crazy'? I was like, "You call that verbal abuse"? And so he asked for what I think verbal abuse use. So I used material he gave me. I used his culture and the fact that I have blue eyes to assault him.

    He didn't respond. And he signed out.

    What happened?

    I emailed him and told him that I would never want to truly hurt him. I told him I was giving him a taste. Please help me learn what went wrong in case he never answers me.


  2. Lillith

    Lillith New Member

    bump so it doesnt got lost in the abyss. this is important to me.
  3. Lillith

    Lillith New Member

    My feelings on verbal humiliation is that it is important for it to be real. "Going into session" and having a premeditated script isn't something I am interested in.

    Is my idea completely against some sacred BDSM rule that I didn't know of. I am new to online Domme-ing.

    Any help from any role is appreciated.
  4. spider

    spider New Member

    Given that the guy was from Egypt makes me think he's Muslim, Their approach to verbal abuse is different because they're much more ready to respond to outright aggression with aggression. For them it's much more insinuated abuse. The 'is your uncle crazy' line is a subtle way of calling someone homosexual. (Kinda says the uncle is a bit weird and doesn't have any children and that 'problem' may have been passed down via the uncles sister to the person your speaking to.) They're all about the subtle curses that lodge in the back of the mind and slowly grow rather than outright shock. Ever get into a polite argument with one and you'll leave it thinking, hang on a second, what exactly did they mean by that. I have a Muslim friend who can put so many inclinations in to the words "Can help you?" it's untrue. It can mean anything from 'What are you doing here? Go Away!' to 'cause you really look like you need some help you dumb f**k.' He said it once to some one making a cup of coffee and reduced a whole room to laughter around the person making the coffee. Timing helps alot to, you have to know exactly the right apparently polite thing to say at exactly the wrong moment.

    I'd just like to pint out that I in no way think homosexuality in others is any sort of problem.
  5. Lillith

    Lillith New Member


    I appreciate your response. You are probably right. To me, that is light humiliation and not verbal abuse. What is in a definition though? We all describe things differently, and another culture is just a whole other thing to add to the confusion.

    Incidentally, he messaged me to tell me his internet connection went down.

    Hmm....seems unlikely to me. But maybe.

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