Sub drop in hetero males

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Lillith, Oct 25, 2012.

  1. Lillith

    Lillith New Member

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    What can a female Dominant do to help a male hetero sub to keep from sub dropping too bad?

    Should sub drop be discussed before hand at all times? Should gentle after care happen each time? What if he says he doesn't need it?

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  2. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    I'm sure Sebby or someone will have a huge answer for you, so I'll just keep to what feels safe to say.

    If you're always with the same sub, I don't think you need to discuss it before hand every time- just the first few times, and after a bad case of it, that sort of thing. You should know each other somewhat well, so it shouldn't need constant discussion, just an open dialogue when needed.

    In my opinion, aftercare should happen every time, but aftercare is different for everyone. For him, it might be a matter of wanting to be left alone and fed, or something, vs a hot bath and cuddles. Maybe a better way of wording is that some just need time to recuperate with mild or no assistance as opposed to active 'care.' Likewise, some prefer to be switched to 'are you okay sweetie?' and others 'you did a good job, whore' or whatever else. So I guess I mean that there should be aftercare, but just go what he feels he needs, even if it's not something you see as care.

    Then, you should just monitor him. Be there to talk if he drops, and have ways to make him feel better- exercise, food, massage, whatever- available. And of course, if it's what he needs, leave him alone.

    So I guess I don't have a ton of advice, seeing as I think it's varied for everyone. It's a matter of being patient and seeing what works, and trying what you can.
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  3. Lillith

    Lillith New Member

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    Thanks smallest.

    Last edited: Oct 29, 2012

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