I am a female sub in a relationship with a dominant male and a switch female. The 3 of us started out as friends. Sir had pursued Ma'am for a while, but she expressed that she was not interested in a relationship, so they remained friends. I met them a month or so later. Sir and I had a chance conversation about bdsm during which I joked about my interest in the subject. We had sex. I liked him. I confessed my sincere interest in bdsm, and he said "Well, you're in luck because I happen to be an experienced Dom." Pitter patter, pitter patter. Be still, my heart. We started dating. I threw myself so wholeheartedly into learning everything I could about bdsm, submission, dominance, and all of the bells and whistles that go with it. Sir was encouraging and delighted in my enthusiasm and I flourished. In an attempt to shorten what could be a long story, after a few months, Ma'am was added to our relationship. Ma'am is dominant to me, but submissive to Sir, so we have a definitive hierarchy. Ma'am is as of now a switch (I think she is more of a dominant innately), but she has expressed her desire to explore being submissive. Sir is easing her into some more submissive situations. I love Ma'am almost as much as I love Sir. To say I love her the same would be untrue because I have given Sir my everything already. I'm finding our relationship hard. Sir says I'm more of a lifestyle sub in that I want him in control all of the time, and Ma'am is more of a scene sub because she only wants him in control in a sexual playtime setting. I'm getting confused. I have rules, Ma'am doesn't (which I like). If I don't do as I'm told, I get in trouble. Ma'am is never in trouble. I'm always submitting, she never is. I used to have daily tasks, well still do, but Sir doesn't enforce all of them anymore. I know he does not in any way like "brats". At the same time, I am struggling with keeping my submissive mindset/needs met (I am not sure how to describe this) when Ma'am comes to me as an equal to discuss some facet or another about a scene or task she was given, and then turns around and doms the shit out of me when I try to get out of homework. I support her in her desire to switch, but I'm having a hard time seeing her as the submissive equal and the dominant mistress. They both love their pet (me) very much, and are constantly praising me, and telling me how proud they are, but I can't help but feel like maybe my submissiveness is a burden. I know it has to be chore (albeit a fun one) to upkeep me so to speak constantly. Do they like keeping things in playtime? I don't feel like they do, but they like it that way between the two of them. Am I just insecure for no reason or should I talk to them about me trying to be less submissive outside of playtime? I should clarify that this is my first bdsm relationship, and although I know the basics well, the power exchange and emotional side of things is thrilling, but I am still sometimes uncertain.