should I dare to experiment??

sweetling91 · Jan 2, 2013

Thank you again for reassuring me ^^
It's nice to hear that I'm no freak, since many seem to think that being like me is totally not normal.

sebastian · Jan 2, 2013

Sweetling, you are a freak. But that's ok. Everyone on this board is a freak. And there are lots of other freaks out there. A freak is a person who's outside the mainstream in some sense and is able to admit that they're different. It's estimated that about 10% of the population is kinky in some way, which means we're a minority. But we're a minority 2-3 times the size of the gay community, so we're a sizable group.

Learning to accept that you're different from everyone else can be really liberating. It can be a source of real strength, but it does require that you learn some courage to be different. That doesn't mean being totally open about your differences; lots of kinky people stay entirely in the closet. But they still recognize that they're different.

Moonlight · Jan 2, 2013

Yep I agree go slow and absolutely nothing wrong with being a freak. We all are in some sense. When one of my friends says I am weird or crazy I simply reply well of course I am, that is what makes me so entertaining.

MistressMaria86 · Jan 2, 2013

Hello, thought I would add my two pennies worth. I did not lose my virgnity until I was 31 ys old which by most people's standards is unheard of. It didnt happen for many reasons but it never really bothered me despite knowing that it wasnt usual.

I met a friend who when he found out offered to help me as I had no sexual experience whatsoever and although I wasnt entirely sure it was the right way to go I did. What made it harder was that I knew he didnt harbour any romantic feelings and for me as someone who had it in mind that sex should be between two people who at least like each other I did have some issues afterwards.

For his part I indulged (or at least tried) to be a Domme as he was/is a sub. Obviously it was quite tricky with me being so inexperienced and having that barrier of knowing he would never completely submit as he didnt have that adoration or total wanting to please me thing going on. He was happy to be be cropped and tied up (although I didnt get on with that very well) and we have exchanged messages.

I guess what I am trying to say is that everyone takes their own path of which there are many.None are wrong, none or right they just are. I really like Sebastians advice (I might even take it on board myself). Main thing is not to feel pressured, it is ok to say no I am not comfortable and to always stay safe.

I am still new to sex and I wont be rushing to do it again. I dont regret what i did (at least I dont think I do) but if it is going to happen again i want it to be between me and someone I am in a relationship with - but thats just me.

MM

Ladygenuine · Feb 4, 2013

Ah, this is interesting.
I lost my virginity young. Very young. Looking back I would say too young, but there are no regrets. First times are weird, and awkward, and scary. Props to you though for holding onto it for the right person.

Bondage is great and can be good fun. Sure, there are lots of things you can do while bound that aren't sex, but still satisfying for both people.
Trust trust trust!!! I cannot emphasize that enough. If you are going to let someone tie you up you have to trust them implicitly. If that trust isn't there you will not enjoy the experience, virgin or not. Please take your time with this.
Now, Shibari has a lot more to it than sex. If you find someone who is more focused on the art and aesthetic aspects then I don't see why this couldn't be pleasurable for both of you.

Kracker · Feb 5, 2013

I think Stanley'sreply (and the many other similar ones) is spot on. You shouldn't view your situation as an either/ or. Your best bet is to find someone you can have a romantic or semi-romantic relationship with, and then begin exploring your fantasies. When and how you lose your virginity should be up to you.

Don't run from your fantasy, but look to experience it as part of a safe, caring relationship.

My wife didn't fully come to terms with her fantasies until she was 38 (and we were married 15 years with four kids). The result of her internal denial was that we had unsatisfying sex for most of our marriage which almost led to its termination. Fortunately, she was finally able to admit to hersel, and then to me,f that she enjoyed rough play in a submissive role. This revelation was a complete surprise to me, but has resulted in not only a vastly improved sex life for both of us but an improved relationship. We have never been happier. Don't hide from your fantasy; find a caring partner willing to indulge it.

should I dare to experiment??

sweetling91

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sebastian

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Moonlight

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MistressMaria86

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Ladygenuine

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Kracker

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