How to beg for dummies.

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by TerribleT, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. TerribleT

    TerribleT Member

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    My wife ordered me to beg her to take her handcuffs off me the other day. She told me not to say please and not to kneel. Needless to say, I failed.:(

    I know....communicate!

    It's not that easy. I'm obviously fine with my sexuality and have no hang ups discussing it. My wife, OTOH, is very uncomfortable even considering anything para sex.
    We're married 11 years and have 2 kids.
    We knew each other in high school!
    The second time we ever had sex, way back when, I really made the effort and eventually brought her to climax. She just about died! It was her first orgasm with a man! We were in our mid twenties! I've never known anyone so sexually repressed.
    Any way, I knew there was something in her, buried way down. It's taken over a decade but I think she's starting to break through.

    About ten years ago, I bought an old pair of handcuffs. She had tied me up a handful of times, at my request and I could see she was uncomfortable, but excited.
    At first, she was disgusted by the cuffs, but not enough to take them off the nightstand.;)
    About once a week, I'd lock myself up and pretend I couldn't get them off.
    Fast forward.......
    She keeps the cuffs under her pillow. She likes to spank, pinch, bite me and pull my hair. She calls me bitch and worse. She's very strong and enjoys physically dominating me. She is starting to show an interest in CBT (see...I read!!;) ).
    SHE'S FINALLY OFF PAXIL!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek:
    She has admitted that she would like the basement to be a dungeon where she could keep me prisoner and torture me, when the kids aren't home.

    I have never been able to get her to come out and just tell me what it is she needs. I'm pretty good at empathizing with her and I get it eventually but I'm at a loss this time.

    I can see she's starting to become more comfortable with herself and I don't want to be the bottleneck. Her learning curve is accelerating and she seems to want to try new things, but still isn't comfortable seeking advise or even reading up. She looks to me for (subtle) guidance but I'm as inexperienced as she is.

    Any help with the begging thing would be huge, and I'm sure there will be some more questions coming as they arise.

    By the way....I'm new here!
    Pleased to meet you all!
    Thanks for being here to advise a dummy like me.:)
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    It sounds like you're doing a pretty good job bringing her along. Congratulations!
    For me, a sub's begging evokes an intense feeling of power, particularly when his discomfort get intense enough that he starts sounding desperate and starts squirming to avoid what I'm doing. Those signs tell me that I had complete control at the moment and they really call to my beast. So perhaps those sorts of things would appeal to your wife and make her want more.
  3. TerribleT

    TerribleT Member

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    Thank you Sebastian. Getting my thoughts down and mulling it over a couple times......I have an idea now what to do. It's not so much the words, is it. It's more how they leave your lips. I understand what she wants, even though she's not able to vocalize it.

    Your advice makes perfect sense. I was stuck on semantics when emotion is all that's important here. In reality, I don't need words at all.
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Yes, for me it's much more about body language, tone of voice, expression, and things like that. Anything that conveys a sense of urgency or desperation turns me on.

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