MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Death: I understand that keeping your virginity until you find the right person is a very important principle to you, but the fact is that you don't know how you will react to losing your virginity until you do it. You might realize that you were completely right to wait, or you might, as many people do, realize that it's really no big deal. You simply cannot say because you haven't done it. In that regard, you have as much authority on sexual matters as a Catholic priest or nun does, which is to say, very little. I waited until I was 27, and in retrospect, I wish I hadn't. I missed out on some good opportunities that could have been very meaningful, and with hindsight I realize a lot of my 'principle' was really just fear of my own body. I have a good friend who waited until he married in his late 20s, and while he is glad he waited, he admits that his first sexual experience with his wife was rather clumsy and mundane.
This is not to diminish your own views or experiences, but to point out that you are speaking from a fundamental lack of knowledge. You do not know how you will react, you simply believe you would react a particular way. Your expertise as someone who has committed himself to virginity is valuable, especially to someone considering whether to explore or not, but it is limited to explaining what waiting has meant for you. Saying that many people have regretted losing their virginity is meaningless, because I can cite, with equal authority, many people who have regretting holding onto it. Since there are no hard statistics, both claims are mere anecdotes at best, and of little value in decision making. Neither your experience nor mine can tell Sweetling what her first time will be like.
Sweetling: Preserving your virginity for the right moment can, as Death has indicated, be a very powerful and meaningful experience. But it can also be rather disappointing. Very few people have deeply moving experiences the first time they have sex, despite all the claims to the contrary. Being extremely nervous can make it hard to enjoy sex, and lack of experience can produce a great deal of fumbling around, although a skilled partner can reduce that. My understanding is that for virgin women, penetration can be painful. So many virgins find their first time less than satisfying. This isn't to say that you shouldn't wait, but rather that you should be aware that it may not be as meaningful as you may think. As you make your decision on this, keep that in mind.
It's also important to realize that, depending on what you mean by 'virginity', there is a great deal of exploration that you can do while remaining a virgin. For example, there is a great deal of non-penetrative BDSM activity you can indulge in, such as bondage, spanking, tit torture, and so on. So if your desire to remain a virgin until the right guy comes along means that you don't want to be penetrated, there are many options. On the other hand, if you mean you don't want to engage in any significant sexual activity, then your options are fairly narrow.
If you want to explore kink while avoiding penetration, you might ask a boyfriend to do something simple, such as blindfold you or tie your hands with a scarf (not too tight), and then simply tease you, caress you, kiss or lick or nibble you, pinch your nipples, spank you lightly and so on. This will give you a sense of whether you enjoy being restrained. These are things that don't require a great deal of expertise on the part of a partner. You can even pretend that he's taken your prisoner and is 'torturing' or molesting you, if you like the idea of role-playing. If you find you enjoy that, then keep exploring. On the other hand, if you find it boring or too weird or just not fun, then you'll know that kink might not be right for you.
Keep in mind that vanilla and kink aren't mutually exclusive. Many people using occasional kink to spice up a generally vanilla sex life, and many kinksters like the occasional vanilla love-making with the traditional romantic trappings. So as you date and consider giving up your virginity, try the occasional kinky twist. Lots of guys enjoy 'rough-housing' with their girlfriends, showing off their strength by carrying the girl around, or holding her down until she gives him a kiss or whatever--those are very simple forms of power exchange. If you enjoy them, then that's a good sign.
Death feels that the fact that you asked this question indicates that you're not sure it's a good idea. My own sense is that you came here seeking permission to experiment. There are good reasons to wait, but there are also very good reasons to explore. Very few people, in old age, decide they are glad they didn't do something they wanted to do. Virtually all my regrets in life are things I wanted to do but didn't.
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